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Late edition DYM for Week Six! LETS GO!!

This afternoon FB reminded us that today is Golden Richards born day, so we went digging in the archives for a very special THIS DAY IN SPECIAL ED HISTORY.

Due to the recent leap year, October 10th has not fallen on a Sunday since the inception of Special Ed. But last year, week 5 ended on Monday 10/10 with the Bucs welcoming the Panthers to Tampa. Cam Newton was in concussion protocol leaving both the Panthers and the White Walkers looking to replacement QBs. But even a Watsonean QB performance could not have saved the WWs on this day. This was Golden Richards’ highest scoring game of the year, in a season where they set the league record for most points scored.




That’s probably the most interesting thing I found, but looking for stuff that happened on This Day is always fun cause I get to do a lot of “Oh yea I remember that guy”.

Like how about this gem from 2011, JACKIE BATTLE!




And from 2012, one of my all-time favs, JAHVID BEST!




Good times.

Happy New Year, GR!!!!!!

CHRIS HANSEN – DYM SCHOLAR




HUGE Shout Out to NFL RedZone! We are so glad this is a thing.

On Sunday, RedZone’s Rookie of The Day was Myles Garrett. But he was the Rookie of The Early Games, maybe. Fournette was a BEAST too, he’s a superstar in the making. Then we had a good little chuckle when Aaron Jones scored a TD on the first play after the ROTD segment aired. But for week 5 the unanimous DYM-CERTIFIED ROOKIE OF THE WEEK was Deshaun Watson, who scored 5 TDs after I went to sleep Sunday night. We woke up the next morning and Yahoo said we don’t gotta worry bout our QB no more. And I said “Good. One less thing.”

WEEKLY WILL FULLER UPDATE

Another week another 2 TDs for The Full House!!




Coming into this season we thought the Texans were gonna be very bad on offense. We were avoiding that entire team in the draft and first couple weeks. But Deshaun Watson is looking for real. He is the best QB that The Full House has ever played with, and could have the play-extending mobility and cannon arm that our boy needs to realize his Superstar potential.

FULLER FACTS:


On June 3, 2012 Fuller committed to play at Penn State and accepted a scholarship offer. Just 8 days later the Jerry Sandusky trial began, embroiling the Penn State football program in a national scandal. Later that summer Fuller rescinded that commitment and accepted an offer to play for Notre Dame University.


He ran a 4.32 40 yard dash at the NFL Combine


That’s fast

THEY SAY THIS IS A BIG RICH TOWN

We finally caught up on Power, and HOLY SHIT, season 4 was a doozy. There were some Breaking-Bad-level plot twists in the last few episodes. They still managed to end with a number of plotlines on major cliffhangers, so it feels certain that there’s gonna be some even wilder shit coming in season 5. So the DYM TV REVIEWS DIVISION is proud to present:

BOLD PREDICTIONS for POWER SEASON 5!!!!!

1) Tasha is Pregnant

But THE NEW LAWYER IS THE FATHER! Ghost doesn’t suspect a thing until the lawyer demands a paternity test cause he loves Tasha now, and he just has to know. ugh. Tasha gets the test and still tries to keep it under wraps but Ghost finds the results in the mailbox or some dumb shit.

2) Tommy’s Mom is the Weak Link

Hope we’re wrong about this one: The FBI investigation of Tommy is heating back up. But this time his Mom might be forced to take the stand, and she can’t lie for shit. See, there was way too much talk about how Holly was just like Tommy’s mom, and he loved them the same kinda way… that was foreshadowing… it’s gonna be really hard to watch.

3) Ghost FOISTS Councilman Tate onto Dre

For those that don’t know, the new bad guy for this season is O-Dog from Menace II Society, but now he’s a city councilman representing Ghost’s old neighborhood in Queens. Ghost has entered into a partnership with Councilman Tate that now seems like it’s gonna be more trouble than it’s worth




Ghost wants out so he reluctantly turns to his odd-couple business partner Simon Stern for advice. Stern recognizes that Tate has foisted himself onto Ghost and helps Ghost devise a plan to re-foist Tate onto Dre.




Stern will ingratiate himself once again and impose upon Ghost yet another relationship from which he has nothing to gain. But Ghost accepts this for the time being, realizing that the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. He’ll reckon with Stern soon enough.




FOOD BEEF

The wing tour continues this week with THE HAT TAVERN.

The Hat Tavern is the bar at the Grand Summit Hotel.

Hat is one of our go-to bars, and we’ve had a lot of good food there, so we had somewhat high hopes going in. The highlight of Hat is the beer selection, which is still very good, so it’s worth stopping by but don’t get the wings.

We knew these wings were gonna be garbage as soon as we saw them. They were small and heavily breaded; a deadly combination that would be impossible to overcome with even the juiciest meat and tastiest sauce.  But the sauce was just alright, I think it was just mostly Franks Red Hot. The one positive I will give them is they were consistent and cooked hard enough to be very easy to eat. But they were consistently small and heavily breaded. These were your standard room service hotel wings. Disappointing.

 WING SCORE: 5.0

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!

 1 comment


Golden



Thanks for the birthday shout out, DYM looks like it may be on a course to break my season scoring record.



Golden 6 hours ago

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TOTAL MOVES THIS WEEK: 23 (great job!)

DUMPSTER DIVER OF THE WEEK: Golden Richards

Paul’s best move of the week was dropping New England D for Buffalo. We left a nice little breadcrumb trail for him to follow in Tuesday’s AFC East Analysis. He’s back in the good graces of DYM Nation as we think he’s learned his lesson after last Sunday’s senseless tragedy:

Julio Jones was Paul’s best player but he was not a 2017 Fantasy Superstar. Unfortunately he is now not a fantasy starter either. Losing him to a groin injury is an absolutely devastating blow to the Golden Richards (groins are notoriously slow to heal) and he has only himself to blame.

Paul is known to be an avid DYM reader, and he has normally been one of our most vocal supporters. But last week, he was the only person in this league to question the findings of first 2017 Power Rankings. Most people just read DYM and don’t comment. That’s for the best, because they know that our rankings are sacrosanct, and the Fantasy Football Gods do not look kindly on those that take the words of the Gospel in vain. Perhaps when WHO’S HOT?! comes out Paul will rejoin the captivated but silent masses. Then perhaps fortune will smile upon The Reigning Champs once again.

BENCH POINT PANDEMIC

As the President mentioned last Tuesday - Now more than ever, leaving points on the bench has become a major issue all around fantasy football. Except for Abby of course. No hard decisions on that roster cause her bench is all Zeros.

Last week in Special Ed 3 games were decided by the losing team mismanaging a start/sit decision:

  • The #1 blunder of the week was Matt Stafford over Cam Newton. The Baldwin Brothers were beaten soundly by Hunt and Cousins on Monday, but starting Cam on Sunday could have put the game out of reach. A missed opportunity for a major upset over one of the league’s top teams.

  • Randy Cummingham was understandably upset with Terrelle Pryor. But the former Brown scored a TD on the bench while current Brown, Isaiah Crowell, is still on the Browns.

  • Polk High’s attempts to wrangle Cooper Kupp have cost them two games already. This week they lost by starting the not-for-real Chris Thompson and benching DYM favorites Kupp and Frank Gore, either of whom would have won the game for PHP.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, EVERYBODY

WEEKLY WILL FULLER UPDATE

GUESS WHO’S BIZACK?!

Speaking of points on the bench - We couldn’t be more excited to roster my man William Vincent Fuller the Fifth. He likely won’t crack our starting lineup until our trio of top-tier WRs go on their byes; Although it is tempting to run him out there this week in a stack with our Bye Week QB Deshaun Watson.

Fuller Facts :

  • The Full House is on pace for 26 TDs this year

  • Check out my mans with the Brent Holmes dreads!!

  • Killin em!!

Saquons Heisman vs Polk High Panthers

Special Ed’s colludingest best friends battle it out for a share of last place as the loser goes to 1-4.

Both teams find themselves without core starters during the season’s first bye week:

  • PHP will miss both their top two RBs including potential Superstar Davonta Freeman.

  • Chris will start Eli over Matt Ryan for the bye week. This could actually be a blessing in disguise for The Commish since Eli has been much better than Ryan in fantasy for the past 2 weeks.

Chris is also without Amari Cooper who has apparently retired. Probly wants to spend more time with the family which we are all for. But he’s still young and NBA preseason just started, I bet the Knicks have a spot for him.

Saquon's is the league’s lowest scoring team this year. But PHP came in 10th place in the week 4 Power Ranks, plus I think the byes hurt PHP worse.

Prediction:

Saquons Heisman: 98.54

Polk High Panthers: 87.12

AGOTW Prediction Record: 1-3

SPECIAL ED MATCHUP PREVIEWS:

DYM vs. BS:

Can you fucking believe Allen Robinson is still on the Bitchslapped roster?!?!? It’s getting ridiculous and I'm obsessed. We had an idea for a segment this week where Sarah Huckabee Sanders is being asked for the President’s position on the day’s issues and she keeps changing the subject to Allen Robinson.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT GUN CONTROL. ALAN ROBINSON IS STILL ROSTERED. ITS AN EMBARRASSMENT.

DYM WINS!!!!!

Meh vs. ???Que L???stima:

It’s a revenge game special for week 5! Ertz’s Guy Desean Jackson has a tasty matchup with the Patriots. We think he and Jamis go big this week and hand ¡QL! their first loss.

TEAM MEH WINS!!!!!

RC Cola vs. W-Words:

Can't believe Dave dropped Tucker. That was the face of the W-Words franchise. Dave’d better be careful or he could lose the locker room. RC picked up Carson Wentz to replace Mariota. For some reason Wentz has been better this year when playing against “Good” Defenses. This week the Eagles have a home game against Tyrann Mathieu and the Cardinals so the QB advantage goes to Randall.

RC WINS!!!!!

Golden Richards vs. Baldwin Brothers:

It’s a rematch of SESB VI!

But also a meeting of the injured would-be superstars. How the mighty have fallen!

GR WINS!!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!

What’s up Special Ed? Man, rough day yesterday huh? But it’s Tuesday now and that’s one day closer to Sunday. I'm already feeling like the weekend can't come soon enough.

Nothing's really that funny this week. Except the refs giftwrapped a game for the Bills, that was nice. Bills Mafia was in danger of entering October without our hallmark irrational optimism. I swear no team is better in September and worse in December than the Bills. This year they don't play the Pats until week 13, which is just long enough for Bellichick to get this defense turned around. No way they stay this bad for long. But the bills have played two very good games in a row, even if they shoudn't have both been wins. And it would be very Bills of them to make the playoffs in the year they were supposed to tank. They would fuck up at trying to fuck up, wouldn't they? They have the Chiefs first round pick too, so the draft is kinda fucked anyway.

I hate going to work on Monday before my fantasy matchups are decided. It’s nerve racking. Really hard to get any work done. Monday’s are obviously the worst, but especially when you’re best fantasy guys play on Monday Night.

I go in these meetings and people are talking about work stuff like they don’t even care that Kareem Hunt is gonna play tonight. Nobody even had any takes on the Vikings or Seahawks RB situations. Just work, work, work. All I wanna do is get back to my desk and watch these Tyrod gifs.

RIP TOM PETTY

Couple thoughts about the late great Tom Petty

We saw Tom Petty in concert once. He was very impressive. The fact is many musical acts just sound much better on record than they do live, especially older guys. Not Tom Petty. The dude was a fucking machine. Normally, our favorite concerts are when we get to see guys jam out and do some different renditions of songs we know and love. But Tom Petty was impressive in a completely different way. He sounded EXACTLY the same as he did on record. It was just technical precision. He knew those songs by heart and he fucking nailed em.

I don’t remember the first time I ever heard to Tom Petty, he’s just always been pretty obiquitous. But I definitely remember the first time I thought he was cool.

When we were in middle school there were some kids who’s moms didn’t love me hanging around their kids. So when there was a kid my mom didn’t want me to hang out with I knew that kid was gonna be a real fucking savage. So we had this new kid moved to the neighborhood who was my same age, but his parents were divorced and he used to live in New York City and his name was Damian so my mom wanted no parts of him being my friend. (I saw him not that long ago, he was like “why’d your mom hate me, man?” and I was like “yea, I don’t know. Sorry dude”) Anyway, it turned out Damian was a very cool kid who knew all about what music was cool and which movies had titties in them. One day he made me a cassette mixtape of some cool music I didn't know about. It was mostly like album cuts of Beastie Boys and Tribe Called Quest but there was this one rock song that went HARD.

I was like damn what the fuck is that, and the paper said Tom Petty. I didn't even know he really rocked like that. To this day, Runnin Down a Dream is one my rockingest songs of all time, and it always takes me back.

That might be the closest thing anybody’s gonna say to “Tom Petty changed my life”. I mean, Refugee isn’t really about refugees. It's literally about a chick that doesn’t wanna smash, but he’s screaming about “EVERYBODYS GOTTA FIGHT TO BE FREE”. There’s been a lotta white guys who play guitar and sing bumbaclot love songs but that generation had a few, like Petty, Billy Joel, or Springsteen who could sing a song that’s ostensibly about nothing but make it an anthem just cause they really sound like they MEAN it. That’s why I love Petty, cause he just rocks out these songs like as if he’s singing about something he really cares about; even though they’re all songs about trying to bang and smoking weed.

BYE WEEKS ARE HERE!!!!! TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES!!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!

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