• DYM Editorial Staff

DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 WEEK 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


What’s up Special Ed?

It’s Monday and two Special Ed matchups still hang in the balance. EVERY game has playoff implications this week so we will all be watching this Monday Nighter with rapt attention knowing that the outcome will decide nearly the entire Special Ed Playoff and Constellation seeding.

A few teams’ fates were decided yesterday tho: Abby the Bitchslapped has been eliminated, Jeff Ertz has secured his BYE WEEK, and Team Meh remains in 5th place. Every other playoff team’s position will be determined tonight. 

And now we move on to the worst work day ever. You guys know we hate these all-day-tilt Mondays. Today is even worse than most fantasy Mondays cause we still don’t even know who’s starting for the DYM squad tonight. We’re gonna be staring at this blurry ass picture of a toe and refreshing this rotoworld page about eleven hundred times today. Anyways, 32 points is a lot to ask from anybody so most likely we will lose tonight and move down to 4th place to face Team Meh. We will then have to regroup quickly on a short week. Saint vs Falcons is a surprisingly fantasy friendly Thursday Night game and we’ll be all up in it.

But the most intriguing Week Thirteen Special Ed matchup is still White Walkers vs Polk High Panthers. PHP leads by 3 with AJ Green lined up against Lev Bell and the Pitt Kicker. IT’S ANYONES GAME!!!!! PHP will claim the 6th playoff spot with a win. But a White Walker win will hand the spot to Doug, unless WW’s guys put up some Mike Vick type of numbers.

Sorry, guys, Team Meh and -10 Yards were the two teams nobody wanted to see in the playoffs, and well, here they are.

FOOD BEEF WING TOUR

Back in week 8 we reviewed the wings at 54 Main in Madison. What they delivered that day was like the Vince Carter through-the-legs-windmill-tomahawk dunk of Buffalo Wings, and we were like Kenny Smith screaming “IT’S OVER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!!” They shut this shit down. The “competition” was over that day, but the tour must go on. We sampled two more wing spots over the last few Sundays, and although they were both very good, neither could live up to the lofty standard set by 54 Main.

BROOKLYN WING HOUSE:

When our teams met two weeks ago DYM played a fantasy road game at the White Walker household. A new wing-spot had opened up in the WW neighborhood so we took a sampling back to the house and watched RedZone. The "Smoked BBQ" flavor was very good. We’re usually not big on BBQ flavor, but they captured a lot of smoky essence on this sauce that made them a rousing eat. "Sweet Chili Rum Glazed" were probably our favorite – a perfect combination of sweet and spicy. Classic Buffalo were a treat as well. We have to say they checked off all the boxes: Well fried without breading, HOT and robust flavor, and consistently big meaty wings. A very very good all-around wing, nothing to complain about in any way so it’s hard to score them at anything lower than a 9; But they lacked that unique flare of the buttery flavor employed at 54 Main, and the skin was not as crispy.

WING SCORE: 9

RIVER GRILL:

Those of you who read the Special Ed text chain may be aware that we tied a few on during the 4pm games yesterday. Almost all the fantasy action in our matchup with Doug was in the 4pm slate and we were ESPECIALLY hyped to watch the Josh Gordon comeback game. So after the Bills game we headed down to our old stomping grounds - The River Grill in Chatham. River Grill (formerly Towne Tavern, formerly Flynn’s) is an old standard for the townies of the greater Summit metro area. It’s always been a lively bar scene but since about 5 or 6 years ago the food has been top notch as well. True story: In 2013 The Commish and I saw Rex Ryan there when the Jets were on their bye week. You know Rex doesn’t fuck around with any mediocre Buffalo Wings. So of course, The River was the prohibitive favorite entering the season. We really went into this just to find out if anybody had better wings than River Grill, it was their title to lose.

But, the wings yesterday were just good, not great. The sauce was HOT HOT as always, we caught a sweat for sure, and they were large and meaty thoughout. But, there were only about 4 drumsticks in the dozen and they could have been fried harder, they were a bit stringy. We gotta tell you guys, our asshole is screaming at us for eating 20+ wings yesterday afternoon so we’re kinda glad the tour will be ending here.

WING SCORE: 8

CONGRATULATIONS TO 54 MAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We will have to hit them up again for a victory lap sometime during the fantasy playoffs. Let us know if any of you locals want to join.

GOOD LUCK TONIGHT, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!