• DYM Editorial Staff

DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 WEEK 16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The 2017 Special Ed season comes to an end this week, and what a season it was! Every week we seemed to see something, or someone, we've never seen before in fantasy football. We had busts, trades, suspensions, injured superstars and breakout rookies. The only thing predictable about this year was the unpredictability, and a precedent has been set for the unprecedented. 

In our own league, the playoffs have been just as turbulent as the regular season. This is the first time both of the top 2 seeds lost their week fifteen games. Now, the VERY exclusive Special Ed Champions Club will welcome our first new member since 2014. And all three of the former Champs could be left out of the money completely in the (unlikely) event that Jeff beats Paul in the 3rd place game.

THIRD PLACE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PREVIEW

You guys all know there's no way we're gonna pick Ertz in this matchup. Nevertheless, we have to admit QL has a lot of factors in their favor. Not least of which is the obvious fact that QL outscored Golden Richards last week. But perhaps more importantly, what most people don't realize is that Ertz is undefeated all-time in Week 16 games. He's a two time trophey winner, having won the Third Place Crown in 2011 and 2016. Our research team also found that the teams that Paul has played worst against this year are the two teams he has had to face in the playoffs. Week 15 was the third time this year that GR had scored under 100 points, two of those games were against Randall Cummingham and the other was against Que Lastima in week 8.

GOLDEN RICHARDS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIFTH PLACE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME RECAP

The DYM squad got sweet sweet revenge for their week 13 loss to -10 yard of eli. We guess Doug benched his whole team cause he thought he could escape the scrutiny that comes with a post-season matchup with the DYM squad but he was DEAD WRONG! The worst part about Doug’s spineless recusal from the Fifth Place Game is that the only lineup decision he made was actually a wrong one. Cam Newton was the highest scoring player on the roster this week but he was summarily benched for the team’s namesake. As for the rest of the roster, there are only two RBs available on this squad but only one actually played. We also gave them the benefit of the doubt by starting their best three WRs although there’s no way Doug would have actually started Juju over Doug Baldwin in a postseason game. So, even if he had acquired a real RB, this would still not have been close.

At last, Doug’s reign of terror has come to an end. His team this year was not that much shittier than it ever is, but beginners luck has finally run out for the former  I Knows Football squad. They compensated for a shit draft and shit luck by making some unexpectedly savvy pickups. Usually Doug doesn’t make a ton of moves, but he kicked it into gear when his shot at the playoffs materialized last month. Smart pickups like Kupp, Juju, and Robbie Anderson kept them afloat, even though he didn’t start any of them as often as he should have. If we know Doug he won’t learn anything from this and jump right back into next year’s draft with Gronk and Baldwin in the first two rounds just like every year.

SPECIAL ED SUPERBOWL VII

The league's two Pennsylvania residents face off in the 2017 Special Ed Super Bowl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Both of these guys are big Fantasy Homers and will start their respective favorite NFL team's QB in the SESB. Fantasy Homerism is something we have a lot of respect for because putting all your eggs in one basket like that is a high-stakes risk to take with one's own emotions. And we've always believed that fortune favors the bold. But right now, in week 16, the fantasy and real-life stakes for all teams involved are higher than ever. The Steelers and Eagles have both clinched division titles but need wins down the stretch to secure home field advantage. And to make matters all the more gut-wrenching, both teams play on Monday night. The 25th. Christmas Day.

By the way, Christmas is for NBA basketball. Not football. What the fuck is going on with this NFL schedule this week. Why is there no Thursday game but 2 Mondays? Nonsense. We get why there's no Sunday Night game, nobody's watching a Christmas Eve Night game. But then why not flex in Giants/Cardinals? that game might be unwatchable anyway! Then they could just have Ravens/Colts on Thursday, Eagles/Raiders and Steelers/Texans on Saturday, and Minnesota/Green Bay at 4 on Sunday. Then there's no Monday night game cause it's Christmas and Christmas is for basketball. Anyways, if this SESB is close going into Monday it's gonna be tilt city for these two. A must win Monday Night game and you're starting your team's QB. And it's Christmas. That's a high stress environment right there. 

Fortunately for RC the Sixers play an early game against the Knicks on x-mas day. Joell Embiid should be back for this one. This is a get-right-game opportunity for the resurgently struggling Sixers. Although Ben Simmons is nearly averaging a triple-double over the last two weeks (14.9pts/10.3ast/9.4rebs) the team is 1-6 since trading Jahlil Okafor to the Nets two weeks ago.

Now, no one would argue that Okafor was playing a pivotal role in the Sixers' early season success. But the fact that he didn't even have a role at all made him something of a mascot for Philly. Jahlil was the most disrespected player on the most disrespected franchise in the Association. Jahlil Okafor sitting on the end of that bench was a living metaphor for a team that feels like it's ready to compete with the best of the best, even if no one else does. #FreeJah was a rallying cry for a team that desperately needed a rally. It was a sentiment that took the old adage of "no one outside this room believes in us" and made it so much more personal, more visceral. #FreeJah really means #FreeUsAll.

On the other side we have Team Meh, an Original Special Ed Member and perennial playoff contender. This is their second SESB appearance. Believe it or not, when Team Meh played in SESB III his QB that season was none other than NICK FOLES. Crazy right? We looked it up, it's true! In 2013, much like 2017, TM was highly inconsistent, Both seasons TM scored over 130 five times and also scored under 100 at least four times. In SESB III the bad TM showed up and they lost a low scoring game against Doug's trash team. One big difference tho: in 2013 TM was 0-3 against the team they met in the SESB, this year they are 2-0 against RC so far. We think they make it 3-0 and take home their long-awaited first Special Ed Championship.

TEAM MEH WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Come on back next week for DYM Off-Season!  

We're gonna talk Star Wars! SESB VII Recap! NFL Playoffs! Basketball! Real life Aliens! Maybe We'll bring Trump Back! Let's Go!