2018 WEEK 1! SPECIAL ED MATCH-UPS!
What’s up Special Ed! We’ve really been looking forward to this DYM edition. This’ll be the first time since the draft that we are taking a close look at each one of your lineups. We’re about to make some snap judgments that we will not back off of easily. Heady times.
This is shaping up to be another very special season of DYM. We’re pretty sure Trump is gonna weigh in soon on the Lev Bell situation and/or the adjudication of the Helmet Rule, and we’re especially excited about this season’s new special guest analyst Master Yoda!
But right now 2018 Week One is about to get underway so it's time to breakdown this week’s Special Ed Match-ups!
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK:
RANDALL CUMMINGHAM vs GOLDEN RICHARDS
SESB VIII Rematch!
A clash of SPECIAL ED CHAMPIONS leads off the Week 1 slate!
The two top finishers in 2017 have the highest projected week one scores. And rightly so! Both these squads look solid from top-to-bottom:
Paul has perhaps the league’s best WR corps and a pair of workhorse RBs. Of course, Russell Wilson is our guy, we love him this year. His veteran presence will be huge for those young RBs. Jordan Reed at TE is the only weak-link on this team. Reed will get hurt - it’s a matter of when not if. That means there’s a decent chance of a 0 every week Reed starts. Njoku is a good backup but he can’t help you when Reed goes down in the 1st quarter.
Rob has combined a powerful BELLCOW RB duo with DYM’s favorite WR of 2018 – STEFON DIGGS!!! We watched this one preseason Vikes game where Cousins threw to Diggs four times in a row on a TD drive. No progressions – didn’t even LOOK at Thielen. Diggs is the man in Minnesota. This team’s Achilles Heel is obviously Kenyan Drake. We have a no tolerance policy for Dolphins once again this year. They should start Corey Davis.
This one looks like a shootout that could come down to the wire with a Monday Night Kicker.
GOLDEN RICHARDS: 125.4
RANDALL CUMMINGHAM: 122.1
SPECIAL ED WEEK ONE MATCH-UPS!
Jeffery’s Team vs The Gentrifiers
Two teams with starting RBs on the bench! From the dumpster-diving perspective they’re both already in mid-season form. These are the two most likely teams to pick up Adrian Peterson.
Folks, New-guy-Jeff is a visionary.
Great fantasy players know that the best strategy is to zig while everyone else zags - and new-guy-Jeff elevated that strategy to previously unimaginable levels. While most teams focused on RBs and WRs in the draft, Jeffery hoarded all the QBs, TEs and DSTs. A lot of people have been laughing at this lineup, but just you wait! They're good - SNEAKY GOOD! They’re so sneaky they might not win any games for like a month. But this is chess not checkers.
By week 7 Jeffery's Team could have BY FAR the strongest QB position group of any team in the league.
Bench strength is a very underrated asset in fantasy. Jeffery realized how important it is to draft back-ups for ALL your starting positions. Wentz is a good pick for a primary back-up QB, but he won’t be available for a few more weeks and you can’t go into week one without a reliable back-up. That’s why, in this case, it was a wise choice to back-up the back-up. You can never be too safe.
Another smart thing to do is draft guys who are suspended for four games. Especially when the guy is in his thirties and he got benched for Tim Hightower once. Jeffery’s not thinking about this stuff because he thinks you are thinking about it. This guy is 10 steps ahead of us.
Please don't trade with him, you guys. Make him play with this fucking team.
Commish vs Doug
Bad news for Doug, this is my favorite team he has ever drafted. His three top WRs are as good as any group in the league. LeSean McCoy's girlfriend said he's doing steroids which is good news for us long as he's still not suspended. Doug’ll have to remain active to shore up the RB2 spot vacated by McKinnon, but there are few other weaknesses here.
If The Commish wants to, he has our permission to change his team name to The Gordons Fishermans. That was one of our best team names, and it’s a rare opportunity.
Unfortunately both these teams’ best player is on the Giants who open the season against Jacksonville. That could keep the scores low in this one. Cam Newton has the better QB match-up, but Chris has the advantage with Demayrius Thomas vs Seattle and Mel Gordon vs KC.
SAQUONS TEAM WINS!
Polk High Panthers vs Que Lastima
Jeff Ertz will also need to remain active as he tries to salvage his auto-draft monstrosity; but Zeke and Jacksonville defense are nice pieces you can build a team around, he has much fewer moves to make than the other Jeff.
Despite the presence of Jarvis Landry this could be an excellent PHP team. There’s one very good player at every position and that Brady-Gronk combo could be very potent this year.
QL will be off to a slow start this week with Evans, Baldwin and McCoy all facing difficult match-ups. Matt has the match-up advantage overall with Gurley facing the Mack-less Raiders and AJ Green playing in the dome at Indy.
POLK HIGH WINS!
DYM vs Meh
OH SHIT, I FORGOT! STANLEY DRAFTED ADRIAN PETERSON!!
NO WAY!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!