DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 OFF SEASON VII!!!!!!!

Holy shit, a lot happened this week. Let’s break it down! People used to say the preseason is boring, the games don’t matter, nothing happens… Well not anymore, party people, cause this is Trump’s America! We got trades, suspensions, nukes, Nazis, human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

ITS PRESEASON WEEK ONE AND THE WORLD IS IN FIRE!!!!! SEE YOU AT THE CROSSROADS

Sammy Watkins was traded to the rams. Bills Mafia is apoplectic.
Im ok with tanking honestly. As for fantasy – Welcome to tier 3, Sammy, you are now Tavon Austin.

Sammy will be alright tho, forcing this trade was actually a very shrewd move on his part.
Sammy has been one of the most vocal NFL players tryina get that NBA money next year.  And everybody knows the NBA is killing the game in off-season media cycles. NBA news never stops, and the biggest driver of that off-season interest is TRADES.

There’s almost never any trades in the NFL, but NBA teams trade all the time, that’s why people like it more and that’s why the players get paid more. See, Just like in fantasy, IRL trades make an entire league more interesting and put the spot light on the players involved. They generate interest in the entire product while increasing the value of players personal brands. If you’re a player trying to maximize your brand exposure heading  into a contract year, what better time to get your name out there in the media than PRESEASON WEEK ONE when football fans are extra extra thirsty for any real football things. People been talking about DJ Khaled for a month cause the NFL off season is so boring. Now they’re all talking about Sammy Watkins!

Nice move, Sammy. He’ll be a cowboy next year for sure. KELLY KAPOWSKI WANTS HER SHIRTS BACK

Been seeing Zeke Elliot on TV a lot lately.

I think he wears those cut off belly shirts because his face is so fat. Like he’s really gotta PROVE to y’all that he’s not fat. Being a fat RB is a tough life. Look what Eddie Lacys going through. And zeke looks at least as fat as Eddie, if you couldn’t see their tummies. You gotta think this has been an issue for him, it must have shown up on a scouting report at some point. Anyways that’s a wide fucking face right there. BEST ALBUM OF THE SUMMER

This DYM was gonna be entirely dedicated to breaking down the top 5 rap albums of the summer, but like I said a lotta shit happened this week, so I’ll just cut straight to the rankings 1: Rick Ross – Rather You Than Me

2: Kendrick Lamar – DAMN

3: Sean Price – Imperius Rex

4: Drake – More Life

5: Jay-Z: 4:44 We loved this Rick Ross album. The beats are fire, the flow is much more mature, just a very solid effort all around from Ricky Rosé. He’s also a great follow on twitter, although I usually go for the more analytics based fantasy writers and he’s not a big sabermetrics guy. Honorable mention to Roc Marciano for making the exact same album for the third time in a row. Dishonorable mention to Childish Gambino for that Bruno Mars Ceelo ass shit. RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY

In light of recent events The DYM editorial staff would like to take this opportunity to restate DYMs longstanding anti-Nazi platform:

Nope. Uh-uh. No. Nonononono. Not fuckin with no Nazis. Thank you. THEY SAY THIS IS A BIG RICH TOWN

We started watching Power recently. Up to season 3 now, trying to get caught up before football really starts. It’s pretty good. We’re team Tasha all the way. Fucking HATE Angela.

You ever notice how Tommy and Holly never wear pants at home? That cracks me up. They really know how to write white people. STAY SAFE EVERYBODY!!!!!!! 1 comment Trades happen in the NFL constantly, Dummy. It’s just easier to claim that an NBA player is more known when he plays 82 games (compared to 16) on a roster of 15 (compared to 53). Doesn’t make them a star to be one of 5 guys who spends more time on the court than the other 10. Also, since when has there been a meaningful “trade” in the NBA. Everything happens in free agency. Doesn’t mean the NBA is more interesting. Besides, nobody really gives a shit about the NBA until a month before the playoffs anyway. The NFL will always be better than the NBA. CZAR 2 months ago Reply 0 likes currently ☝️dog whistle. DYM 2 months ago