DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 WEEK 1!
YO SPECIAL ED, IT’S DRAFT DAY EVE AND DYM IS BACK IN THIS BITCH FOR THE 2017 SEASON!!!!! I know everybody’s feeling extra EXTRA amped for this year’s Special Ed Draft. I love having this draft so close to the start of the regular season. The worst thing in football season is the days where there’s no football. Fortunately this week has very few such days. Last Thursday The Commish and I drafted in another league; Friday, Saturday AND Sunday provided some very good and some not very good college football action; Today DYM is in non-stop mock draft mode leading up to the BIG NIGHT tomorrow; which leaves us only one day to wait before NFL KICKOFF THURSDAY NIGHT!!!!! Hold up… If opening night is a Thursday does that mean it’s gonna be a DOUBLE COLOR RUSH??? I seriously might have a heart attack you guys. Goddamn, that would be the best thing ever. ((ed. note: Don’t know how I forgot there’s 2 games on Monday, not Thursday. This Thursday will be a standard Single-Game Color Rush Thursday Night. I think we’re gonna make it.)) SPECIAL ED COMES FIRST The Commish and I were offered a unique opportunity this year to co-manage a team in my brother’s league. The league was converted to a “higher stakes” affair this year, so co-management was allowed to mitigate the entry fee sticker shock. I jumped at the chance casue I feel like the Commish and I are a brain-trust that will be very difficult for that league to reckon with. I think it’s gonna be pretty fun too. I mean, I love writing all this BS and subterfuge on DYM but it would be nice to have an honest conversation about who I ACTUALLY like in fantasy with someone in this league for once. Only problem is we had to draft that league before Special Ed, and we obviously both agreed that Special Ed is our #1 priority, so we had to be very cagey when we put together our rankings. Then after we drafted Chris refused to speak to me the rest of the night, just cause he didn’t want to give away any more of his Special Ed strategy!! What a dick!!! But what he doesn’t know is DYM is a man who has no name. Chris can’t lie to me, I see right through it. Even his silence spoke volumes. And since I’m picking FIRST and then not again until #20 tomorrow I have no compunction in giving you guys the UNFILTERED breakdown of the first few rounds of The Commish’s Special Ed draft strategy. Let’s break it down: (FYI: We drafted out of the 9 spot, which SUCKS, but we made the most of it.) I don’t really think much of this will surprise you guys. Chris and/or I have owned and touted most of these players over the last few years. 1: Chis insisted on Jordy first, which was soooooo obvious. We all know that Chris makes this pick every single day and twice on Sundays. He would take Jordy over MIKE EVANS! Ha! If Evans falls to Paul at 6, oh man smh, a GIFT for the defending champ. 3: Terrelle Pryor is a guy that I like and Chris LOVES … waaaaay too much. He wants to take Pryor in the SECOND ROUND in Special Ed (#16)!!!! And he’s nuts. Let him do it. 4: We both like Matt Ryan, despite the impending SB hangover. But we both really wanted to take Rodgers or Brady even earlier, but they didn’t fall. Those two guys could both have historic seasons, so I’d expect the QB run to come earlier than last year (top 3 QBs went mid 3rd round last year). … 11: Kenny Golladay (aka Babytron) is MY GUY!!! IF ANY OF YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!!!! FOOD BEEF: ROAD TRIP EDITION TWIN STAR ORCHARDS: NEW PALTZ, NY My Labor Day weekend was pretty much shot making this road trip up to western MA to my sister-in-law’s college. Since we put half a storage unit of shit in my truck, the boy and I got to skip out on antiquing on Sunday and ride back to NJ dolo. The rain and the cargo made for slow going so we made a pit-stop in New Paltz, NY. And there we stumbled upon a little slice of heaven called TWIN STAR ORCHARDS. When you approach Exit 18 on 87 South you’ll see some peculiar signage like this: They’re like, “Yea, there’s food at this exit. Not sure what it is, but it’s food. And gas.” Then, right at the end of the off-ramp, there’s a sign for Twin Star that says “ORCHARD. FRESH CIDER. WOODFIRE PIZZA.” And I was like “whaaaaaat?” so we followed those shits and they led us to an orchard. An orchard with a bar! An orchard with a bar where they make their own hard cider from the apples that they grow right there! And they make a fucking SPECTACULAR PIZZA!!!!!! We were pretty amped. The property is absolutely beautiful. They serve ‘za and cider in a gazebo next to a big ass pond. There’s a fire pit, rolling mountains in the background… even on a rainy day it was a sight to behold. But the real star of the show was the grub. These hand-made wood-fired pizzas are made with the finest ingredients. We got one classic Margarita and the other one is mushrooms onions and truffle oil. Oh my god. Seriously, best pizza I’ve had this year. Now you guys know I’m not a big Cider Guy, but the stuff Twin Star rolls out is really special. They call it “Brooklyn Cider House”. I think they just wanted that hipster appeal, cause the apples are from New Paltz and it’s bottled up near Syracuse. I had one while we waited for the ‘za. It’s crisp, and not too sweet, so it’s very drinkable. If I hadn’t had another 2 hours of driving ahead I woulda had 4 or 5 more. So I brought some home to enjoy with a little Labor Day BBQ. It’s the perfect way to ring in the FALL SEASON!!!!! FATHER OF THE YEAR COMPETITION UPDATE I may one day regret holding a father accountable for his son’s actions, but your boy LaVar Ball took a major hit in the FOTY rankings this week when his son started talkin reckless about the GOAT of all GOATs. Lonzo went on to say that something called a “Migos and Future” is “real hip hop” and Nas “is not”. SMGDH. You’re looking at a very confused young man right here. I don’t know what else to attribute this to than bad parenting. There’s NO WAY Assahd Khaled would say some fowl ass shit like that. Hell no. Yea I saw just made LaMelo the first High School Basketball player to get his own shoe, and that is pretty cool. But first of all that might really fuck him up with the NCAA, and also they probably only rolled that shoe out when they did to try to get this Nas beef out of the headlines. DJ Khaled is now easily the top contender for Father of the Year. Steve Smith Sr has moved into second place. I might be in the Top 10 now after that pizza orchard I found this weekend. Talk to yall tomorrow! HAVE A GREAT DRAFT EVERYBODY! 3 comments YES!!!! Qué Lástima a month ago Reply 0 likes currently Cant wait ! (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) Use the right and left keyboard keys to set your rating Golden Richards DYM scholar a month ago Reply 1 likes currently Our typo game is already in mid-season form!! (*) (*) (*) (*) (*) Use the right and left keyboard keys to set your rating DYM Editorial Staff a month ago