Total Moves: 25 (great week, everybody!) Dumpster Diver of the Week: Randall Cummingham
MASTER YODA’S PPR RB PICKUP OF THE WEEK!!!!!
Strong with the force is The Champion Randall Cummingham. For the second week in a row acquired one of my favorite pass-catching RBs he has. This week, a powerful rookie RB he picked up, very cool number he has and VERY funny name …. Nyheim Hines of the Colts, my week 4 top RB pickup is.
Picked up and dropped many powerful RBs were this week. Moved this week were famous pass-catchers like Buck Allen and Gio Bernard; and remains unowned does Duke Johnson. But above them all stands Nyheim, with 26 targets in four games.
Expect the points to continue to flow from the Indy RB position we do, since throwing downfield Luck has avoided with his reconstructed shoulder joint.
On the radar in the spring was Nyheim. But fade him in the draft we did because 4 fumbles he had in preseason. Beware the fumbles. Costly they are to the team and hated they are by all coaches. The path to the coaches’ dark side is Fumbles. Drive them toward the bigger slower RB they do. A productive future we see for Nyheim but always changing is the future. Secure the ball you must, Nyheim! Allow your coach to be seduced by Wilkins’ dark powers you must not.
WEEKLY WILL FULLER UPDATE • BAD NEWS: The Full House re-aggravated his hammy in the third quarter so he ONLY had one TD this week. • GOOD NEWS: Keke Coutee is even BETTER!!!!!
Holy shit you, guys. Keke fucking Coutee. Say it to yourself... Keke Coutee... Best name of the year, easily. Maybe best of all time. It’s the Pat Mahomes of names. He's a rookie, slot receiver, with a funny beard and a QB number... it's almost too good to be true. We’ve got a bad feeling about Fuller’s hammy lingering so we’re gonna just flip the switch now from FULLER FACTS to – COUTEE COVERAGE:
• Breathtaking Real Name: Key'vantanie Coutee • Wore an RB number at Texas Tech (20).
• now promoted to QB Number Status as a pro • Same name as Aayla Secura’s droid in Clone Wars.
WEEK 4 HALL OF SHAME!!!! In a shocking turn of events, New Guy Jeffery made his first roster move of the season ahead of week 4. Buck Allen only added 5 points to the team total but that was enough to get their first win and send THREE teams to the Hall of Shame.
Some people will say that 122 is a very high threshold for a Shameful week. They’ll see Polk High Panthers scored 118 and Que Lastima scored 116 and wonder whether they really deserve entry into The Hall of Shame. What these folks don’t realize is that scoring is WAAAY up this fantasy season, and they are going to need to adjust their expectations.
The average Special Ed team has scored 119.77 points per game this year. That’s over 17 points higher (SEVENTEEN!!) than last year’s first-four-week average and 12 points higher than the average first four weeks of all years in the Special Ed 10-team era. We used to say that 120 was a “Good” score in this league, but with the passing game revolution taking hold across the NFL it should now take about 130 for you guys to feel good about your team any given week. Now that you know, let’s look at what went wrong for the league’s worst teams this week.
Polk High Panthers – If we’ve said it once we’ve said it 1,000 times: DROP JARVIS LANDRY!!!!! He’s a loser. PHP got Alshon Jeffery back this week and generally we don’t like starting a guy his first week back from injury (thanks, Dalvin), but that was obviously the right move here.
Que Lastima – In week 3 Drew Brees vultured a goal-line TD from Kamara, so last week the Football Gods sought their vengeance. When the Saints entered the red-zone Brees was humiliatingly pulled from the game for Taysom Hill and thus his comeuppance was served. He better think twice before taking another of Alvin’s rushing TDs. That goes for you too, Ingram!
Golden Richards – By far the Most Shameful team this week is FORMER Champion Golden Richards. Almost nothing went right for GR for the third week in a row. Here’s an idea: He should trade Julio to Fay for that Dalvin+Yeldon package he just got, then Fay can trade Julio and maybe James White to Chris for Melvin Gordon. WHO SAYS NO?????
2018 SPECIAL ED POWER RANKINGS!!!!! Well, folks, it’s that time of year again. September is in the books. Once we get through a quarter of the season, we all kind of get over the predictions and assumptions we brought to into the draft and we all start to face reality. The Defend Your Moves Power Ranking Committee has done an extensive analysis of that reality and they are ready to present their findings.
Every year after week 4 we line up every WR, RB, QB and TE owned in Special Ed and JUDGE THEM. Every player is put into one of four self-evident categories: • SUPERSTAR, STARTER, BENCH, and EXPENDABLE/INJURED The DYM's POWER METRICS are calculated by dividing your number of starting players by 7, for the 7 starting starting positions in a Special Ed line-up.
One thing you all might notice is that the POWER METRICS are way up from last year. The #1 team last year had a tepid POWER RANKING of 1.07, which was an all-time low. If you could put any of this year's top-5 teams in a time machine they could DOMINATE in 2017. This is commensurate with the over all points swing this year. Many more players are contributing on a high level to NFL offenses and their fantasy owners deserve to be recognized. There are 75% more SUPERSTARS and 52% more STARTERS this year than last. A lot of this has to do with the huge crop of sexy 2017 rookie RBs, QBs and WRs (JUJU IS A SUPERSTAR!!!!), across the league STAR-POWER in today's NFL is at an all-time high.
2018 SUPERSTARS: • There is only one SUPERSTAR QB and that’s Pat Mahomes. Mahomes is a full 5 points per game better than #2 QB Matt Ryan. Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers are QB's #11 and 12 so far, so that means everybody in this league has a legit starting QB (except Paul). • There are no SUPERSTAR TE’s. 5 STARTERS • 6 SUPERSTAR RBs (top 13% of all RBs). 22 STARTERS (48%)
• 7 SUPERSTARS WRs (top 16%). 28 STARTERS (64% - incredible!)
TEAM BREAKDOWNS: #1 – Team Meh (3-1) (562.96 points - 1st)
This team is stacked. There’s a lot of injury risk with Peterson, Ajayi and Kelce but they’re all playing right now and they’re all really good.
#2 – DefendYourMoves.com (2-2) (518.28 points – 3rd)
Our trade with Gentrifiers actually lowered our Power Metrics slightly because all three players involved are STARTERs and Keke has to remain a BENCH player for the time being.
#3 – In Saquon We Trust (4-0) (533.02 points – 2nd)
The Commish’s team has scored a ton of point early this season but their spot at #3 is more tenuous than it may seem. James Conner only has 2 more games as a STARTER. Devante Adams is one of the lowest scoring STARTERs and Josh Gordon’s ranking is still speculative.
#4 – We Knows Football? (2-2) (432.86 points – 9th)
DeSean Jackson and Cooper Kupp are among the highest scoring STARTERS. They are both potential SUPERSTARS. He also has former SUPERSTARS Odell and Shady, so there’s still a ton of upside on this squad.
#5 – ¡Que Lástima! (1-3) (470.70 – 7th)
The auto-darft nightmare has left Ertz with only 3 WR/RBs of Starting caliber. He’ll need Sony Michel and Crowell to step up in the next couple week and become legit STARTERS. Kittle is good though.
#6 – Golden Richards (1-3) (440.86 points – 8th)
This team should be a lot lower based on their performance so far. But Joe Mixon and Aaron Jones have been mostly unavailable so far this year, and they should be legit STARTERS once they get going this week.
#7 – Polk High Panthers (1-3) (486.76 – 4th)
PHP’s hot start may have been an aberration as this squad looks just OK right now. We do think AJ Green has some good games coming up and Ridley could be a very useful pickup. In the end though, this team will live and die with Brady.
#8 – Gentrifiers (3-1) (478.22 – 5th)
In week 1, when Bell and Freeman first hit the bench, 8th place seemed about right for The Gentrifiers. But they’ve played some great fantasy football the last few weeks and are poised for a huge bounce-back. They’ve still got 3 GREAT WRs left after the trade and three potentially high-powered RBs on the BENCH. We went ahead and re-calculated Gentrifiers’ Power Metrics with Bell as a SUPERSTAR and Freeman, Yeldon and Cook all as STARTERS. This best case scenario would move Gentrifiers all the way up to 2nd place.
#9 – Randall Cummingham (2-2) (474.40 points – 6th)
It doesn’t look good for The Champ. David Johnson and Jared Cook are both very shaky starters. But at least they have Mahomes!
#10 – Jeffery’s Team (1-3) (392.70 points – 10th)
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK
GENTRIFIERS vs RANDALL CUMMINGHAM AGotW Prediction Record: 3-2
The new hot shit Pat Mahomes faces off against old boring Deshaun Watson. Remember when Watson was good? Ha! Man, feels like forever ago. But he sucks now compared to Mahomes. Did you see him throw with his left hand?! I mean, wow.
For real though, the best player in this game might be Juju. The more we think about it we wish we had done that trade for Juju instead of Keenan. Keenan’s our guy, but that Juju! AAAAH!! Hey Dave, can we get a do-over? Let's run it back. Can we do Keenan Allen for Juju???
GENTRIFIERS: 119.20 RANDALL: 100.76
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS:
DEFENDYOURMOVES.COM beats Jefferys Team!!!!! GOLDEN RICHARDS beats We Knows Football?!!!!! TEAM MEH beats iQue Lastima!!!!!!
UPSET SPECIAL: POLK HIGH PANTHERS beats In Saquon We Trust!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!