LISTEN FOLKS
We had a very very big week. You folks made 25 moves since last Thursday, I think that’s a record, but they’re still counting. Could be 26. Could be 24. We’ll see. Eight or nine different teams made a move, that’s the highest turnout we’ve seen all season. Just tremendous.
I think a lot of people are surprised by the results. Big time players were dropped this week because they did not embrace Trump. The fake news, fake polls were so wrong about these guys all season long. But they’re not our guys. We never liked a lot of these guys. Shady, Jordy, Alex Collins, Stafford. They did not embrace, so they are dropped. Sorry!
A lot of guys picked up this week too. Lot of Kickers, lot of Defenses, lot of rookies. Rookies getting dropped too, that’s OK. Very big week. Very big.
Everybody’s thinking about the playoffs now, getting excited. So much energy. So exciting. People are saying eight teams are still in it. Could be seven. But there’s a good chance that at least one great Special Ed champ won’t make it in to the playoffs. Of course that’d be good for me. I don’t want them in the playoffs. But I don’t like how it would look politically, so I’ll say they’re still in it for now. But, it could happen. It’s likely.
Still no trades this week, though. That’s OK. We want to make a deal. It’s going to be great, folks. But it has to done legally. There has to be a process. Look, we’re only making great deals. If we don’t make a deal, you’ll know there were no great ones out there. If these other teams want to get a deal done, they know it has to be a really great deal. Or it just won’t get done.
Interim Attorney General Motthew Whitaker
The New Guy Jeffery Sessions should not have recused himself from the 2018 Special Ed season. It’s unprofessional and probably illegal. He had the lowest score in the league AGAIN last week, and we’ve had enough. He’s done. FIRED. Effective immediately Jeffery’s Team is out of the league. Until we appoint a new permanent league member, his position in this league will be filled by my very good friend Motthew Whitaker.
Motthew played Tight End for Iowa in the 90’s. That’s COLLEGE football, folks, or as we call it: REAL football. As we know, traumatic brain injuries only happen to NFL football players. College football builds character, and in no way impairs the social judgments and beliefs of players later in life. Motthew has shown NO signs of brain damage WHAT-SO-EVER. He’s gone on to a completely normal and mainstream legal career, distinguished by his tremendous ability to judge moral dilemmas, and behave appropriately.
As Iowa Attorney General, Motthew brought charges against the state’s most liberal gay senator. This corrupt senator, charged with attempting to extort $2,000 from his business partners, faced a totally reasonable sentence of 20 years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000.
The jury took less than 2 hours to return a not guilty verdict. That’s still the federal court record, folks. This guy’s a LEGEND.
Much like myself, he has also become a target for the DEEP STATE operatives still working in the federal government. Last year the FTC shut down Mothew’s very legitimate invention patenting business claiming he extorted millions from his clients.
I know what that’s like. Every day I take money from someone who didn’t want to give it to me, and they always call it “extortion.” Everything is extortion these days. This phony baloney FTC complaint accuses Mothew of “threatening” his clients by sending them tremendously appropriate emails describing his “security team of all ex-Israeli Special Ops … trained in Krav Maga, one of the most deadly of the martial arts.''
And? What’s wrong with that? We’ve been doing that for years. That’s a standard form we send to all new Special Ed league members. Very reasonable, very normal.
Welcome aboard!
WHOS HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
You can’t believe these polls, folks. The pundits and talking heads here at DYM put all these numbers together just so they can avoid giving proper credit to the REAL teams scoring big all year long.
Totally unfair. The Commish’s team has dominated this league in every way. The most successful season he’s ever had in Special Ed. Setting every record and for what? So the Fake News can say he’s the "fifth hottest” team?
You people are disgusting. DYM should be ashamed of itself. They are rude terrible people.
The way you treat these teams is a horrible! You shouldn’t treat people this way. You’re tearing this league apart!
Sit DOWN, DYM, you are the enemy of the people!
FOOD BEEF SANDWICH TOUR 2018!!!!!!!!!!
C&J’s was good, but not tremendous. They didn’t blow me away, but it wasn't bad.
The presentation was nice. A lot of attention to detail. Nice white parchment paper. All the sandwiches were kind of tucked-in. Not piled-high like we like em. Nothing spilling out, just real neat clean sandwiches.
We had a perfectly cylindrical Italian sub.
Don Jr. and Melania had chicken with peppers and mozzarella. Chicken was dry.
Listen, folks, some people like their Joe better than Mimi’s. There is tremendous flavor in the coleslaw. But the meat and bread are average, not exciting. So they get one bonus-point for that and an average score for the rest.
People seem to like this place, though. They were busy on Saturday. They apparently do a lot of platters and catering business too, like Towne Deli of Madison.
SCORE: 8/10
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!
EAT A SNICKERS vs. THE COMMISH
Prediction Record 7-3
The fake, so-called hottest team versus the REAL number one team.
A couple weeks ago Doug got lucky and put up his highest score against the GREAT Team Meh on their worst week. The fake news at DYM were probably saying that was some "Big Statement Game” for Snickers and they’re still “in contention” for a playoff bye. But the fact is Snickers is waaay behind The Commish and Team Meh, and even the DYM team. They don’t have a chance this week.
The Commish is going to win so big. Just a tremendous and successful team. It’s outstanding. Maybe the best team that’s ever played in this league. You couldn’t even understand how good The Commish’s team is. He just knows more than any of you know.
He knew Le’Veon wasn’t coming back, it’s all James Connor all the time. JC’s a super-star!!! But DYM still won’t admit it. So unfair. DYM hates admitting they’re wrong but they were very badly mistaken on the Commish’s power-ranking. This team is NOTHING BUT super-stars. Sure they don’t have a TE or Defense, but who does? Those are not real positions anyway. The Commish should just abolish them immediately. He can do it! He’s the Commissioner! Then no one could stop him. Probably could go undefeated if the league were fair.
PREDICTION:
SAQUONS HEISMAN: 145.78
EAT A SNICKERS BITCH: 119.21
SPECIAL ED MATCH-UPS!!!!!!!!!!
MOTTHEW WHITAKER vs GENTRIFIERS
Fake Yahoo projections give Gentrifiers the lowest score of all real teams this week. But let’s be honest, folks, they’re getting a Big Win this week and will move into 4th place with a Snickers loss. Tremendous.
GENTRIFIERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!
BELIEVELAND vs RANDALL CUMMINGHAM
What happened to these two? It’s sad to see these two former champs struggling to get above .500. Very sad.
BELIEVELAND WINS!!!!!!!!!!
POLK HIGH PANTHERS vs QUE LASTIMA
Patriots on both sides. Both very fine teams
POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!
TEAM MEH vs DEFEND YOUR MOVES
Team Meh is a tremendous team. They’re having a great season but you won’t read about it on Defend Your Moves. That fake news website barely ever mentions the best teams in the league. They’re so negative and totally unfair. And they wonder why the new guy doesn’t want to play here. They’re so divisive!! DYM is destroying this league!!!
TEAM MEH WINS!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!
