WELCOME TO THE SPECIAL ED SEMI-FINALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The four remaining teams include EVERY Special Ed Champion from 2011-16 and also The Commish. This is gonna be a wild one. There’s SATURDAY Games this week, so keep an eye on that, and both Special Ed match-ups could have starting players in every time slot from Thursday to Monday. We’re going wire-to-wire for week 15! Stay hydrated, you guys.
LET’S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHO’S HOT: PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That Monday Nighter was not the thrilling fantasy bonanza we had hoped for. It was pretty slow but we got some laundry done and managed to stay up for the whole thing. Although neither of the teams who trailed coming in were able to come back on Monday, almost all the things we said needed to happen for Fay to win happened: Dalvin had his best game of the year, Lockett got his rushing attempts, they both outscored Russell who threw a pick; but it was not quite enough.
The G-Men finish the season as the league’s hottest team, with four straight high-scoring games. The DYM MVP was on a Championship trajectory, with the NFL MVP (and #1 fantasy guy) at the helm, but in this crazy pinball-scoring season anyone is capable of putting up a big BIG score any given week. Now with Mahomes, Kelce, and Thielen out of the picture, the #1 players at every offensive position have all been eliminated from the Special Ed Playoffs.
Snickers actually got hotter this week despite putting up an ostensibly miserable 97 point score. That’s because his week 14 was actually 12 points better than his week 11. Sad. Snicksy was fortunate to have gotten a wildcard match-up with Team Meh, the only playoff team scoring less than him this month.
AMERICAS GAMES OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prediction Record: 12-8
IN SAQUON WE TRUST vs 3-28
Paul’s team has been up-and-down all year. They’re very unpredictable, but seem to come up with the BIG scores when they need ‘em most. But no matter what Golden Richards do we think this is The Commish’s game to win or to lose. The health of Chris’s guys, and how he manages the starting line-up will decide this game.
The Commish will have a number high-pressure start/sit decisions to make this week. And, with potential starters going on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday these will be tough choices made with limited information. First, he’ll be intently watching Clippers practice reports all the way up to kick-off Thursday Night, anticipating the triumphant return of top-5 RB Melvin Gordon. If Gordon doesn’t go, he’ll almost certainly start Chubb on Saturday and hold out hope for a James Connor return on Sunday. Starting Connor may preclude him from playing Jaylen Samuels, and force him into a Monday Night back-up TE. If neither Gordon nor Connor can go he could flex Samuels and go with a Monday TE or keep Samuels at TE and hold his nose with Doug Martin or Dante Pettis in Flex. We’re kinda hoping Samuels goes in at TE so we can get a glimpse of the league’s future with a 4-RB squad.
Prediction:
IN SAQUON WE TRUST - 127.43
3-28 – 134.14
DEFEND YOUR MOVES vs THE SNICKERS BITCHES
Doug has Justin Jackson on the bench and we don’t think he has the guts to start him on Thursday.
He’s not gonna make any moves until he knows the status of his two banged up Superstar WRs. As of press time neither Hopkins nor Beckham are full participants in practice this week, though both their teams say they expect them to play. With Edelman playing in a probable air-raid shootout at Pittsburgh Doug’ll probably bench Amari yet again. Amari is the talk of the fantasy town lately but has been no help to snickers’ squad. Despite being on pace for over 200 fantasy points this season, he has yet to score more than 10 in any week where Doug started him. Clearly the locker room chemistry isn’t working out here. Amari’s not happy and it’s dragging the whole team down. They should do Amari a favor and just drop him. Go ahead and do it now, like before Friday at least. He’d probably be happier on whatever fantasy team Dak is on. FREE AMARI!!!
DYM doesn’t have as many choices to make this week since we’ve eschewed nearly our entire bench for streaming QB options. We’ve been saying all year long that you can never have too many back-up QBs, it’s easily the most overlooked position in fantasy. We’re capitalizing on a major market inefficiency by stock-piling all these young mobile QBs. You guys are all out here trying to zig and we’re zagging HARD.
Prediction:
DEFEND YOUR MOVES – 132.78
SNICKSY – 101.21
FIFTH PLACE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GENTRIFIERS vs TEAM MEH
The League’s Hottest Team looks for redemption against the pitiful Team Meh.
Great matchups are in store for all three Cookses so we expect The G-Men to put up another big 130+ and destroy the fraudulent Chimp Squad. There’s little consolation in these empty week 15 games, but a winners never quit and quitters never win.
GENTRIFIERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CONSTELLATION TOURNAMENT: WHERE EVERYBODY IS A STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RANDALL CUMMINGHAM vs ¡QUE LASTIMA!
QL is still the favorite to win the esteemed Constellation Tournament Championship. We’re happy not to have to contend with Brees, Zeke and Kittle. Derrick Henry just went wild and even Jordan Howard turned it on in week 13 and they both have plus match-ups this week too. This is finally looking like a legit good team.
¡QUE LASTIMA! WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POLK HIGH PANTHERS vs [REDACTED]
These games don’t technically count, so there’s no post season Hall of Shame. The pressure is off PHP this week so his guys should play looser than they did late in the regular season. Gronk and Jarvis just had their best games of the year and Gurley is poised for a big bounce-back game against the flagging Eagles. Time to finish strong, PHP!
POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
