🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
DEFEND YOUR MOVES OFF-SEASON SPECIAL REPORT: ODELL’S NEW HAIRCUT
You guys, the biggest non-suspension-related news story of the off-season just broke yesterday in Cleveland Ohio, AND DYM WAS THERE!!!
Our friends and family thought Cleveland was a peculiar choice for a Summer Vacation spot, but we insisted. “I heard the lake is totally clean now. It must be lovely this time of year” we said. They were dubious but eventually relented. Of course we didn’t tell them that this was actually more of a work trip than a vacation for DYM. Now that Baker is an official DYM Legend, we had to get our scouting team up there to take a look at these New Look Browns. And guess who’s got the NEWEST LOOK of all??
ODELL CUT HIS HAIR!!!!!!!
Odell is an international fashion icon due in large part to his old haircut. Kids LOVE that haircut. It’s pretty much been the #1 most popular urban young mens’ haircut for the last five years. A lot of Odell fans are probably going to be upset by this. That haircut was the signature piece of one of the league’s hottest player-brands.
We think it’s actually a smart move, branding-wise. Fashion trends come and go faster than running back careers, so five years is a long time to be rocking the same look. Bill Belichek is well known for trading players in their late-prime years, BEFORE their play declines with age. That’s exactly what Odell is doing with his haircut.
That haircut was a ticking time-bomb, it could be a total corn-ball look by this fall. Better to get out now while you're still cool. No one knows what the new hottest look will be, but we know it’s not that old one.
Since the big trade a few months ago, the Browns have put up a TON of signage all over the city with pictures of that old haircut on em. It’ll be really interesting to see how much of that gets updated later in the season. The Browns have an opportunity to establish themselves as one of the league's sexiest up-and-coming teams this year. They can’t risk turning off the young fans with some whack haircut from 2015.
But really, who do you think is more mad about this: Browns' marketing department, or Jarvis Landry?
You think Odell even talked to his boy about this beforehand? We’re not sure. At the first day of open camp yesterday Jarvis showed up rockin that same old Jose Reyes Muppet hair, albeit with a less pronounced front-rat-tail (a sigil that he and Odell have shared for the past few years). No word yet on what he plans to do next.
Ball’s in your court now, Jarvis.
HAVE A GREAT PRE-SEASON EVERYBODY!!!!!
