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DUMPSTER DIVER OF THE WEEK: i knows pandemics👾!!! Total Moves this week: 14 WAKE UP SPECIAL ED!!! 14 total moves over the last seven days is pathetically low after the ruthless massacre that was Week 2. Last week 12 players on Special Ed rosters were injured, and only TWO were dropped (Courtland Sutton and Sammy Watkins). The DYM Research Department says "thanks", cause having all these guys still rostered made the data a lot easier to gather for this week’s DYM. But what the fuck, guys? Get to work!!! Saquon’s not coming back, Sterling Shephard shouldn’t have been drafted, and Cam Akers and Malcolm Brown probably won’t have jobs anymore if/when they return. The other 12 moves were all legitimate drops: Jordan Howard, Ron Jones, Justin Jefferson, and Anthony Miller have all sucked BAD the last two weeks and should not be on anyone’s team. There’s still a lot of moves to be made here. The league Jeff Ertz is in now made 21 moves last week, and NONE of the injured players listed below are still rostered. This is why we’re not handing the DDoTW Award to the player with the most total moves this week (Sharon Ertz - 4). Dougy Tacos has the most injured team this week - they’ve lost 6 guys in the last two weeks - but only made 3 moves since week 1. There is something to be said for keeping a cool head in this sort of crisis scenario, because when the dust settled, they had made the two sexiest moves of Week 3. Doug spent most of Sunday sending bemoaning texts about the Giants; then calmly walked down to the waiver wire around noon Monday. The guys he found there, Devonta Freeman and Cirlcle-Jerick McKinnon, were perhaps the two most interesting, if not the most appealing, pick-ups of the week. It’s weird to us that McKinnon and Freeman are the exact same age (28½). We feel like Freeman was in Atlanta forever, and it seemed like they pretty much ran him into the ground. He could be washed, BUT he’s probably not as washed as Dion Lewis (age 30!!!) and we know the Giants will do EVERYTHING they can before they start Wayne Gallman, so there’s a very real chance Freeman takes the lead in this committee. That still might not make him a “good” fantasy player, but it removes a lot of obstacles to becoming one. We’re somewhat more optimistic about McKinnon ( we dropped Saquon for McKinnon in the other other league ). McKinnon entered the NFL in 2014 as THE premier all-around athlete. His 155.7 SPARQ score is still the highest in NFL history - yes, there was a time when Jerick McKinnon was stronger and quicker than Saquon. (Well, maybe we’re all probably quicker than Saquon right now but you get what we mean.) The problem with CircleJ is, like we said before, he’s the same age as Devonta Freeman. But unlike Freeman, he’s only played 4 games since 2017, so there’s an argument to be made that he’s got fresher legs than most 28 year old RBs. But to us, he’s entering the Josh Gordon Zone of guys we keep thinking should be a thing in fantasy, but just aren't. Week 2 Special Ed Injuries: Christian McCaffrey - High Ankle - i knows pandemics (6) Cam Akers - ribs - i knows pandemics Sammy Watkins (noggin) - i knows pandemics Raheem Mostert (MCL) - i knows pandemics San fran D - Bosa & Solomon - ACLs - i knows pandemics Sterling Shepard - IR - Bring it on Home (4) Davante Adams - hammy - Bring it on Home Saquon Barkley (acl) - IR - Zombie Paterno (2) Malcolm Brown - Pickle Ricks!! (2) Drew Lock (shoulder) / Courtland Sutton - IR - Tobin & the Rippers (2) DJ Chark Jr. - (chest) - The White Jesus Poison (2) Julio Jones ~ hammy ~ Q ~ The White Jesus Poison Unowned Tangentially Impactful Injuries: Justin Jackson - quad & Tyrod Taylor (lung) ~ Sharon Ertz (3) / DYM Tevin Coleman (knee) IR & Jimmy Garoppolo (high ankle) ~ i knows pandemics Previous Week 1 Injuries: Kenny Golladay - hammy - i knows pandemics Le'veon Bell - Hammy - Bring it on Home Buff D - Milano & Edmunds - Bring it on Home AJ Brown - knee - Zombie Paterno Marlon Mack - achilles - Pickle Ricks!! Christian Kirk - groin - Tobin & the Rippers Will Fuller V - (hammy?) - Sharon Ertz Jamison Crowder - Sharon Ertz Mike Tom - High Ankle - Sharon Ertz Duke Johnson - ankle - in memoriam AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!🏵 VS THE White Jesus Poison AGoTW Prediction Record: 1-1 🎇🎆 It's LAVISKA SHENAULT NIGHT IN AMERICA!!! LETS GOOO!!!!!! 🎇🎆
DJ Chark is OUT and our twitter echo chamber is loosing it's collective mind right now. Not to brag, but we have Viska and Johnathan Taylor in every league this year. Last Sunday was like Christmas morning for Johnathan Taylor cause we knew a whole week in advance that the breakout game was gonna happen. But Laviska Shenault Breakout Day is a true High Holy Day, because we had no idea what date it was gonna fall on this year.
TODAY, 6 Tishiri 5781, is that day. The moon and the stars have aligned to send David Johnson on the road to Pittsburgh, and hoist our guy Viska into the national spotlight.
lets fucking go. DEFEND YOUR MOVES WINS!!! Tobin & The Rippers VS Bring It On Home These teams are both 2-0 but we still don’t like BIOH one bit. Kylo has now taken the mantle of Supreme Leader. But he still lives in fear that his power will not be enough when he needs it most. We hate both their RBs, they got two white WRs, and Chris Godwin is back so Evans might go back into slump mode. TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!! i knows pandemics 👾 VS Sharon Ertz We still see 3 red Qs on IKP's roster and AJ Green and Devonta are the only healthy guys on the bench. We think John Brown is gonna play this week (he missed Weds. practice last week too). But we're not sure Freeman will actually be an option, so they'll have to stay on their toes late this week. The good news is Sharon Ertz probly won't be in there scooping Doug's guys, cause they've got a locked up roster with 4 injured guys on the bench. Sharon still has their 3 best RBs active this week, and that should be enough to take down the battered and broken IKP. SHARON ERTZ WINS!!! Paul’s Awesome Team VS Polk High Panthers So it looks like Matt won that trade after all. Great job!!! Kamara is gonna be the entire Saints Offense until Mike Tom gets back. That's not good for the IRL Saints, but it's GREAT for Kamara fantasy owners. Just gotta hope that slipped disc doesn't start barking soon. If Sharon drops Josh Allen to shore up his bench, and Matt picks him up, we're all gonna be in trouble. POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!! Pickle Ricks!! VS Zombie Paternos I think PR might really start Kendrick Bourne this week. Crazy. We're liking this team's draft more and more every week. If we were him, though, we'd drop Sony Michel for Darren Waller. If for no other reason than that The ZPs have a hole at flex and Hunter Renfrow on the bench. Honestly we're kinda shocked Waller is still available right now, even in this league. PICKLE RICKS WINS!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!

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