DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2025 WEEK 7!!!!!!!

DEFEND OUR MOVES!!!!!!!
What the fuck is up, Special Ed? For real. We feel like we got hit by a dumptruck this week. Fuckin longest week. You guys all saw how disgracefully beat down we got last week in the AGOTW -- Team DYM scored a measly 82.48 which was lowest score of the week, and fourth lowest in the league this year. We already had Omarion on IR and then both Harrison and Puka went down in the first half Sunday. We went on to lose 3 out of our 4 fantasy matchups last week AND only hit 25% on Miss Cleo's Props of The Week. That sucked, but shit actually got worse in IRL when the furnace at the DYM Home Office died. Then we told people at work to shut the fuck up about politics and now they're mad at us cause they think we're not liberal enough. Which is fucking insane, they have no idea, and we're not gonna tell em cause the goal there is to shut the fuck up... But we digress.

This week Team DYM is gonna clear the fuckin bench -- starting at least 3 guys we just picked up yesterday. Saquon's gotta put the team on his back. So we're calling a players only meeting. Gotta light a fire under these guys' asses so the squad gonna eat shrooms and live blog the SAQUON documentary on Amazon Prime Video. LETS GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
We wanted to watch the Saquon doc cause its a redemption story, and that's the vibe we need right now, plus we know it's gonna be Ki-sho-ten-ketsu and we know what the plot twist is gonna be already which is nice. For the record, there were some other strong contenders like The Great Wall - a Chinese period piece/monster movie starring Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal which looks like a total piece of shit, Superman (2025) which we will probably never watch, and another Prime doc called Cocaine Quarterback (maybe too on the nose for this blog -- get it??).
DYM AT THE MOVIES PRESENTS: SAQUON Hell yea.
That's the energy we need right here, put this shit in our veins. Your boy said " If God's gonna create someone to play the running back position, I actually feel like that's me. " Oh FUCK YEA!!! 10:00 Love the pacing of this film so far. Ten minutes into this thing and Saquon has already jumped over four people and we're fuckin AMPED!!!!! They got some quotes from James Franklin but otherwise breezed through the Penn State years pretty briskly. That's for the best for all us Nittany Lion fans cause, holy shit, if there's one thing we're even less comfortable talking about this week than Trump, it's the 2025 Penn State Football team. 15:00 It's 2020, Saquon tears his knee and goes in for surgery wearing a Pop Smoke t-shirt. That's amazing. We know this is a real documentary, and this is real footage, but if we were making a fictional movie that takes place in 2020 we'd definitely have somebody wearing a Pop Smoke t-shirt and a coronavirus mask just so the audience knows what year it's supposed to be. Post surgery we get another banger of a theology quote from Saquon: " Going into the season I'm like, God never really tested me ... cause my life is like, no one's life is perfect but, like, I never really had any, like, challenges. " Fuckin shit, we love this guy. This is extremely relatable for us. Dude is just amazing at everything he tries to do and he says " like " every other word. 21:00 Ah shit we're really getting into this now. Totally forgot that Saquon got injured again in week 5 of 2021. Don't know what we were expecting but we're kinda devastated right now. Just great storytelling. Kudos to Prime Video, they got us. Saquon's doin some soul searching now (" am I injury prone? "), so he goes to Jamaica in February 2022. Bout five minutes later they skip ahead to September 2022 when his second kid is born. Once again, great visual storytelling right here.
Also, important to note that Saquon Barkley Jr. exists so we already know who we're drafting in the first round of the 2040 Special Ed Draft.
Anyways, there's nothing better than banging your wife in Jamaica. Feels like the redemption arc is about to begin. 33:00 Oh man. wow.
The 2022 Giants season was fuckin crazy. That's the year that the whole NFC East was all over .500 and the G-Men made the playoffs at 9-7-1. Giant fans likely remember how close they were to NOT making the playoffs that year, going 2-5-1 over the last eight games with Saquon failing to eclipse 100 yards rushing in all eight. That angle is really glossed over here. Instead they highlight the week 9 game where he took 35 carries for 152 against the Texans. Apparently, earlier that weekend he had had a contract negotiation where he demanded to be " the highest paid running back in the NFL ." The Giants just told him " Nah " and Saquon was pretty upset about it the rest of the season. So now you know. 36:00 This is a fucking savage computer setup. He's got a $1000 gaming PC on a folding table with a fuckin gigantic bottle of lotion on top. Amazing. Once again, we feel like we can really relate to Saquon's mindset. 1:06:00 The last twenty minutes were all about contract negotiations with the Giants and Eagles and it was pretty fuckin boring. This movie's good but it's not Money Ball , Jonah Hill aint walkin through that door. 1:09:00 Saquon's beef with Tiki Barber has been a cool subplot throughout this whole picture. They both talked shit about each other in public in early 2024 when Saquon signed with the Eagles. But but its cool that this movie shows how that beef had been simmering for at least four years. There's this bit early on where he gets mad at Tiki the week before he blew out his knee the first time. He says " I was thinkin about wearin a Tiki Barber jersey [at the press conference] after I go for 200 yards. " Which beautifully foreshadows Tiki's infamous " You're dead to us " later on. Really excellent storytelling from Prime Video. Also we just remembered reading about Saquon putting all his Old Spice and Chunky Soup money into bitcoin. It's not mentioned in the movie so we looked it up. Says here that Saquon bought $10 million worth of bitcoin in July 2021.
This coulda made for an interesting side-note amongst the Franchise Tag negotiations. When he got tagged in 2023 he was fighting for an extra $2 million on the contract while he had lost at least $3 million on the BTC which at the time was at its lowest price since 2020. We really wanna know if he held on to that bitcoin through the dip in 2023 cause that other contract negotiation with the Eagles in 2024 also takes on a different tenor if we know he made $35 million in the last 3 years just diamond handing that BTC. 1:23:00 The highlight package from the 2,000 yard season was fuckin sick. Jukin' dudes out of their shoes, 80 yard TDs in the snow, jumpin over everybody. Saqoun highlights are the absolute best. This is what we came for. They even went to the all-22 and got every angle of that backwards hurdle from the Madden cover, it was dope as fuck. 1:32:00 The last ten minutes are the Super Bowl and someone mentions that its Saquon's birthday about every 30 seconds. He's an Aquarius. THE END!!!!!!! DYM MOVIE SCORE: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
FOOD BEEF: TACOS El Ranchero Mexican Grill, Chatham, NJ The taco tour is HEATING UP!!! We had another SLAMMIN taco lunch today, this time from El Ranchero Mexican Grill, right there on Main Street in Chatham. We don't go to El Ranchero that much and we're not really sure why, we're fuckin up. This place is awesome. Delicious tacos. Even if Rancheros doesn't take the Taco Championship they will almost certainly be the new go-to for the DYM Staff. We got two orders of tacos to try the variety - one chorizo on flour tortillas and one steak with a hard shell. They were both AMAZING. The chorizo was ground and had TONS of spice - kinda burns the little cuts on your fingers. The steak was nicely cooked. Chargrilled with just a little salt to bring out that delicious beefy flavor. They serve this chimichurri sauce on the side which was interesting and had a lotta pop from the fresh cilantro. Really looking forward to seeing Rancheros again in the Playoffs. Chicken Soup - 8.5 Chorizo Taco - 9 Steak Taco - 9.5 TACO SCORE: 9 AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!! Erin Ertz vs Paul's Phenomenal Team Who won the McConkey trade??? AGOTW will decide!!!!!!! This week we're going old school and picking our own AGOTW and not using the Yahoo game of the week. It seems that Yahoo is just picking the Game of the Week by which ever matchup has the two "best" teams, and ignoring all the other narratives developing around the league. This week Erin Ertz vs Pauls Awesome Team is BY FAR the most compelling matchup in Special Ed. This is a MUST WIN matchup for Erin Ertz. They're the 3rd highest scoring team in the league but sit outside the playoff picture at 2-4, coming into week seven on a three game losing streak. McConkey has had two good games since the blockbuster trade went down two weeks ago, with a touchdown in each -- but that don't mean shit if they can't string some wins together real soon. We're rooting for Paul's Team tho - and Matthew Golden in particular. Golden is the newest member of the " Shonn Greene All-Stars ", which is guys who when you hear his name you think he's probably Jewish by then you look it up and he's black. We see Paul's looking to start Kendrick Bourne this week, which is smart given the circumstances. But it's wild to us that Christian McCaffrey is still healthy but literally every other starting fantasy player for the Niners isn't. Our theory is C-Mac did some kind of voodoo seance to heal his achilles but in return The Monstars get to take Kittle and Pearsall and JuJuan and Purdy's skills. Sort of a "monkey's paw" curse except its the Monstars. PREDICTION:
ERIN ERTZ - 132.55 PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM - 110.29 ERIN ERTZ WINS!!!!!!! SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!! BIGFLIPPERS vs I ❤️ Auntie Cynthula This is gonna be so sad. Everybody's hurt on both these squads. We're both carrying a dude on IR -- Team DYM has 2, and one of em is still in the starting lineup (Its still possible Coker doesnt get activated and we go hit the dumpster on Sunday, thats always fun). iHeart has 5 Q's and a D, but it looks like all their starters (except Burrow of course) are gonna go. Yahoo has iHeart as an incredible 21 point favorite. 70% chance of victory on Thursday afternoon is wild. You never see that unless somebody's going in the Hall of Shame. Still cant ever pick against ourselves tho. BIGFLIPPERS WINS!!!!!!! Uncle Rico's Revenge vs The Hamburglars ITS RASHEE RICE WEEK!!! LETS GO!!!!! HAMBURGLARS WINS!!!!!!! Always Be Chimpin' vs dead-on footballs accurate 🤌 Public Service FYI, for the parents out there - This is the "6-7" song. We kinda fuck with this actually. This rapper might have a learning disability but the beat is hard and theres a lot of Saquon jerseys in the video. DEAD ON FOTBALLS ACCURATE🤌 WINS!!!!!!! Blame the ceiling vs Tobin & The Rippers This was Yahoo's pick for Game of the Week, and we should take a minute to acknowledge what a powerhouse Tobin's team has become. The Smith-Njigba + Jonathan Taylor combo is gonna be very hard to beat. Those were great draft picks, but they've also made great MOVES!!! The Rippers have been DYM Paragons this past month, running through the league on a 5 game winning streak with THREE different starting QBs!!! Fuck yea!!!! They went 2-1 with Dak and dropped him. Jordan Love got a win, dropped him. Now they're looking for their third win of the Baker Mayfield Era. We always say its dangerous to get too hot too early in the fantasy season, cause it disrupts the mythopoeic rhythm, but at least for now this team is very fucking fun. Great job, Tobin. TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!