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WELCOME TO DYM CLASSIC!!

THIS SPECIAL THURSDAY EDITION WILL BREAKDOWN THE TOP SPECIAL ED WAIVER MOVES AND PREVIEW EVERY MATCH-UP FOR THIS WEEK!!

LETS GO!!

Total moves this week: 16 Dumpster Diver of the Week: Saquon’s Heisman – 4 Moves

Great Job, Everybody! 16 is a lot of moves for week 1. But we can do better, I still see some highly droppable players out there. Like Allen Robinson. Too bad Abby doesn’t read this. Somebody shoot her a text.

Even though The Commish squeaked out a win last week he had already switched out three RBs and a kicker by Tuesday. Chris probably felt like he made a few mistakes in the draft. But now that he’s got TWO Bears RBs and TWO Cardinals RBs, this garbage squad is almost complete. I will never understand why, but the Commish does this every year. He loves having two RBs on the same team, even more so if that team isn’t very good. This always makes his start-sit decisions very interesting.

I also made four moves this week, but actually only replaced 2 players from my draft class. The emergence of Kareem “The Dream” Hunt as the NEW David Johnson went a very long way to soften the blow of losing the OLD David Johnson. We’re very far from panicking right now. The DYM squad still feels real strong even without DJ. We’ll hold our nose and start Quizz for a few weeks, then see if Ingram or Mixon are starters yet. We got some moves to make, but they might not be on the waiver wire.

Here’s some food for thought:

DJ comes off IR the DAY BEFORE the Special Ed Trade Deadline. And since he can’t get any more injured between now and then, the longer I hold him the more valuable he gets, right?

So, who wants to buy a dream???

You guys know we’re always accepting offers.

SPECIAL ED YOUTH MOVEMENT!!

SIX (6!!) rookies were scooped up off the waiver wire this week. ROOKIES PICKED UP: Cohen, Golladay, Davis, Carson, Tavecchio, Kupp ROOKIES DROPPED: Zay Jones, D’Onta Foreman

• The first move of the year was Team Meh adding a last minute starting QB. Meh dropped Eli Rogers to get Rivers in the door. That’s smart because Rookies are the shit out here, but NOT 2nd year players. They are almost never good. Just ask Keenan Allen. That rookie hype can take a real toll on a player, sometimes it can take a Sexy Rookie 3 or 4 years to regain his old form.

• A waiver claim was also placed for Zay Jones on the first day of free agency. But Randall Cummingham learned quickly that although Zay earned the job, the “Bills #1 WR” might not be a fantasy viable position this year. We’ll never forget the day Zay was dropped for another rookie, albeit one with a much less funny name, TEN’s Corey Davis!

By The Way:

On Monday we were in a meeting at work and this guy told us it was his birthday. We were like “Wow your birthday’s on 9/11?! Well at least people will NEVER FORGET your birthday, eh? eh? He just stared at us and shook his head. We got no laughs. Too soon?

• On Sunday, The Commish and I may have been the only ones watching football, cause The Ultimate Semite and Golladay Stylez were the clear breakout stars of the week and obvious free agent priorities.

• Golden Richards added to his rookie RB stable this week. Carson Daly is the only Seattle player that got any positive buzz this off season. Russell and Doug are known quantities at this point which, in the NFL, means they’re in decline. Rawls isn’t really back yet and Lacy is fatter than Zeke. If SEA o-line can manage to not be awful, then Carson has a real shot to be productive as a starter for the Seahawks.

• The Polk High Panthers got up early this morning with a very very interesting move. Cooper Kupp could be for real. He kinda looks better than Sammy Watkins, but more importantly he might be a better fantasy option for PHP than TY Hilton. But more importantly for all of us, Rob Kelley was dropped. So now the entire Washington backfield is unowned, seems like there might be an opportunity there for a team that lost their #1 overall pick to a wrist injury last week.

• Giorgio Tevecchio has a beautiful, lyrical Italian name. Just a pleasure to say. He’s actually not a rookie, technically, but last week was his first ever regular season NFL appearance, so he makes the list. Bravo Giorgio! Congratulazioni!

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK

Polk High Panthers vs. Randall Cummingham I feel bad for these guys cause they have a lot of action in some ugly ugly NFL mathcups.

• TY Hilton’s Colts play Arizona. A very bad matchup for TY, Matt may bench him for the Rookie Cooper Kupp. But can you believe the over/under on this game is 44?? That’s about 40 points too high.

• Mike Evans makes his 2017 debut against the receiverless Bears. This might not be a high scoring affair either.

• Randall has two guys, and Matt may have one rookie, in the Rams vs Redskins. Washington looked very bad last week, and the Rams are well known to be bad, despite the youth movement. If you don’t have a lot of action, I’d recommend a 4pm nap this Sunday.

• But first, the Thursday night game this week is classic stinker, but these guys will each start a Bengal and Matt will likely start a Texan as well.

Fortunately they both have Kickers in the ATL vs GB Sunday nighter, so strap in for that one!

I see Big Ben having a bounce-back game at home, and Mariota being overwhelmed by the new-look Jags defense. If Matt sacks up and benches Hilton for Kupp he will be greatly rewarded.

Prediciton: PHP – 101.12 RC – 95.90

WEEK 2 MATCHUP PREVIEWS:

White Walkers vs. DefendYourMoves.com DYM faces Special Ed’s newest Kicking Expert in week 2. I was watching Joe Mixon highlights on youtube yesterday and the comments said he’s better than Le’Veon Bell. I should probably start him here.

Saquon’s Heisman vs. Bitchslapped Abby has a real shot at a once unlikely 2-0 start with three Patriots rolling into a shoot-out in New Orleans. She still needs to actually open that Yahoo! App and get Allen Robinson out of the flex first, tho. WAKE UP ABBY, YOU’RE WINNING!!!

15 Yards of Baldwin vs. iQue Lastima! These two teams own 45% of the league’s quarterbacks. Maybe they should trade for an RB with an injured wrist?

Team Meh vs. Golden Richards Wow. It says here Hopkins got 16 targets last week. That’s a fucking LOT of targets. He’s on pace for 256 targets on the season. Hopkins career high was 192 in 2015, that season he only topped 15 in a game once.

I’m working from home today so I’ll be available all day taking your start/sit questions on twitter or chat with me RIGHT HERE on defendyourmoves.com!!

I’m also planning on drinking early tomorrow to get ready for the season’s first Color Rush, THERE'S GONNA BE ORANGE!!

HAVE A CLASSIC WEEK EVERYBODY!!

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WEEK ONE IS IN THE BOOKS, FOLKS, AND WHAT A WEEK IT WAS!

  • Rookie RBs and WRs are HOT

  • All QBs are NOT

  • One starting QB and 3 First Round picks were BENCHED

  • The last pick in the Special Ed Draft (Jax D/ST) outscored ALL first rounders

Let’s break it down:

SEXY SEXY ROOKIES

The 2017 rookie class is off to an historic start, and I think it’s safe to say that ROOKIES are the #1 hottest commodity in all of fantasy football. A number of rookies entered the NFL this year with very high expectations. Fournette, Mixon, McCafferey, Hunt, Cook, Williams, Williams, Williams... Now even Kupp, Golladay and Cohen are household names after just one week of play.

It’s gotten to the point where if I’m ever talking to my wife about football and I mention that so-and-so is a rookie, she always says “Oh, so he’s really good, right?”

Rookies are soooo hot right now, and even people who are only tangentially aware of football know it. DYM has actually been following this trend for several years, but this year really looked special for the youngsters. There could be multiple top 10 players in this rookie class and they were coming at GREAT values, so in this year’s drafts Our Plan centered entirely around maximizing our exposure to those sexy sexxxy rookies.

You see, now more than ever the NFL is a young man’s game. The league has evolved in many ways that favor the young player:

  • More coaches are more able and willing these days to construct their schemes around players’ natural strengths

  • More general managers are savvy enough to draft players specifically for those prescribed roles

  • More teams attempt to play faster by keeping a relatively small playbook that functions out of multiple formations

  • League rules pertaining to pass coverage have changed as to give an advantage to faster and less physical pass-catchers

Add to this the facts that EVERY player gets hurt and ALL the owners are trying to reduce payroll, and you have a league that is ripe with opportunity for only the youngest and most athletic players.

All of these factors have seemed to have been developing over several years. But what has been the real (fantasy) impact?

Take a walk with me through Recent Special Ed Rookie History:

2012: The watershed moment for Special Ed Rookies was in 2012, when Golden Richards took home the SESB title behind a rookie QB (RGIII) and RB1 (Trent Richardson). 2012 was also the year that DYM Legend DOUG MARTIN broke the mold by gaining 1,926 scrimmage yards and 12 TDs, both career highs.

2013: The next year Le’Veon Bell and Gio Bernard exploded onto the scene with over 1,200 yards and 8 TDs apiece.

2014: In 2014 Gio was unseated by another rookie, Jeremy Hill. That year Brandin Cooks, Mike Evans and Sammy Watkins were sought after draft commodities; but it was Odell Beckham Jr. who finished in the top 10 with over 1,300 yards and 12 TDs, taking home the DYM AWARD for Best Waiver Pickup of 2014.

2015: 2015 was a slight lull in Rookie Fantasy production. But they undoubtedly impacted the league: Amari Cooper was the only stand-out WR and the team that drafted him won the first 10 games of the ’15 season. That year it also seemed that potential future stars like Melvin Gordon, Stephon Diggs and Ameer Abdullah were gaining much more visibility (and Special Ed ownership) than rookies of the past.

2016: By the 2016 draft it was quite clear that the word was out on Rookies being the hottest dudes when Zeke Elliott (STILL NOT SUSPENDED!!) was drafted 8th overall by the Polk High Panthers. Jordan Howard and Jay Ajayi also became contributors to top Special Ed teams.

… and did I mention how funny these kids’ names are these days??

2017 ROOKIE POWER RANKINGS!

1 – SHHHH. BE VEWY VEWY QUIET. KAWEEM HUNTIN WABBITS

2 – DALVIN AND THE CHIMPMUNKS

3 – BABYTRON aka KENNY GOATADAY

4 – LEONARD FOURNETTE - (hard name to type, way too many vowels)

5 – TARIK COHEN “The Ultimate Semite”

6 – COOPER “SIPPY” KUPP

7 – CHRISTIAN MCCAFFEREY

8 – COREY DAVIS

[on the radar: Kizer, Watson, Trubisky, Mixon, Jones, Williams, Williams, Williams]

btw - I was fading Fournette cause of the foot situation, but he went off on Sunday. I should have never doubted the guy who has this as his Twitter Header:

HERE’S WHY ZEKE IS NOT GONNA BE SUSPENDED THIS YEAR

I mean, the real reason is that he was set up and the whole case is BS.

But @defendyourmoves followers already know that.

The DYM Legal Department sent us this article tho, it’s a good read.

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK RECAP

AGOTW PREDICTIONS RECORD: 0-1

Like I said the other day, this was a tough week to pick AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK. Almost every matchup was marred by late injuries or hurricane-forced rescheduling. So we went with the Elite QB matchup in what turned out to be a week where QB play was in a shambles league-wide. Would you believe ALEX SMITH was the week’s #1 QB?

Nuts.

Only 4 QBs threw for over 300 in the Sunday games and 2 of them were GOFF and WENTZ, yuck. Rodgers got his yardage for Fay but added a pick and only 1 TD for a Ryan Fitzpatrick-esque 15.32 pts.

Still this was a closely contested matchup that was not decided until early Wedsday morning.

White Walkers’ non-QBs were solid all around. Highlights include a perfectly adequate 76 yards from the 2014 Special Ed Super Bowl Champ Delanie Walker; and Tucker held it down with a couple CLUTCH FGs.

Bell was a disappointment, but not nearly as disappointing as David Johnson. The highlight for WW was the return of Marshawn Lynch to full Beast Mode status. Not a rookie but still a very sexy fantasy play.

On the other side, of course Brady was a stinker, but a monster game from Antonio Brown and big contributions from Ty Montgomery and a smooth sensual Rookie RB kept Bitchslapped afloat until the DEN defense could seal the win.

It’s survive and advance for the BS squad. Her weak link was, as predicted, was Allen Robinson. Gillislee was the correct play for Abby this week, and she’ll likely make that move next week with Robinson OUT.

It’s normally not in good taste to laugh at a guy getting injured, but we saw this on twitter last night and had a good little chuckle.

I had some things on this in mind to DYM about this but then I listened to Pardon My Take this morning and they took all my jokes! So instead of those I’ll just take this opportunity to give yall the long-awaited:

DYM’s TOP PODACASTS OF 2017

BEST SPORTS PODCAST: PARDON MY TAKE

Most of the Podcasts I listen to are sports related, so this is actually the overall #1 as well.

I assume some of yall are already Award Winning Listeners like myself (back-to-back baby!!). But if you’re NOT listening to Pardon My Take, YOU’RE FUCKING UP. I feel like PFT Commenter and Big Cat are the fathers to our style here at DYM, even though we started about 3 years earlier. They get fantastic interviews from A-List sports personalities and their shit is just hilarious. We try really hard not to steal their jokes, but ya know, fair play.

BEST MOVIE PODCAST: THE FILMDRUNK FROTCAST It’s not even about movies most of the time and the movie takes aren’t even that hot, but it’s a very funny show. The host of the show is Vince Mancini of FilmDrunk.com but the STAR is Matt Lieb (@lieb123456789 on twitter) he’s a real sicko, sort of the Jim Norton character to Vince’s Opie and Anthony.

BEST POLITICS PODCAST: THE ALEX JONES SHOW

Hahaha! Nah. That’d be crazy tho, right?

BEST LEFTY POLITICS PODCAST: POD SAVE AMERICA

The best thing Bill Simmons ever did was give these guys a show on The Ringer last year (the extant “Keepin’ It 1600”). Now they run a network of left-leaning political podcasts called Crooked Media (get it?), Pod Save America is the flagship show, and really the best politics talk out there. The hosts are all former Obama and Clinton staffers and speech writers and they’re the most insightful and best informed bunch of SJW liberal cuck-tards you’ll ever hear.

BEST HATE LISTEN: REVISIONIST HISTORY WITH MALCOLM GLADWELL It was really close between this and The Bill Simmons Podcast. Really, whenever Gladwell goes on the Simmons show that’s the #1 hate listen of the year. If you ever want to LISTEN to two dudes try to suck themselves off, then pat themselves on the back, then applaud each other’s efforts to suck themselves off and pat their own backs, find any BS Podcast with Gladwell on it. It’s a real treat.

Gladwell’s own show is awful in really special ways. MG likes to explore Big Questions, which is why people think he’s a philosopher. Problem is he’ll introduce a Big Question then pick the most inane useless nuance of that question and just talk about that. Then he NEVER goes back to the actually interesting part of the question. Like the point of the thing is just to show you how much research he did on something you don’t care about. It’s just nuance for nuance’s sake. Very fucking annoying.

BEST FANTASY FOOTBALL PODCAST: LIVING THE STREAM

JJ Zachariason and Denny Carter host a podcast dedicated SOLELY to identifying weekly options for streaming QB’s, DEF’s and occasionally TE’s. JJ’s twitter handle is @theLateRoundQB, he wrote a book by the same name espousing the virtues of waiting until the late rounds of fantasy drafts to take a QB. It’s a pretty well-known concept nowadays but that’s his brand. They are also very funny and I DO steal their jokes. (eg: JJ is a big time Kenny Golladay truther and coined the name “Babytron”)

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!

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WEEK ONE IS IN THE BOOKS, FOLKS, AND WHAT A WEEK IT WAS!


Rookie RBs and WRs are HOT


All QBs are NOT


One starting QB and 3 First Round picks were BENCHED


The last pick in the Special Ed Draft (Jax D/ST) outscored ALL first rounders

Let’s break it down:

SEXY SEXY ROOKIES




The 2017 rookie class is off to an historic start, and I think it’s safe to say that ROOKIES are the #1 hottest commodity in all of fantasy football. A number of rookies entered the NFL this year with very high expectations. Fournette, Mixon, McCafferey, Hunt, Cook, Williams, Williams, Williams… Now even Kupp, Golladay and Cohen are household names after just one week of play.

It’s gotten to the point where if I’m ever talking to my wife about football and I mention that so-and-so is a rookie, she always says “Oh, so he’s really good, right?”

Rookies are soooo hot right now, and even people who are only tangentially aware of football know it. DYM has actually been following this trend for several years, but this year really looked special for the youngsters. There could be multiple top 10 players in this rookie class and they were coming at GREAT values, so in this year’s drafts Our Plan centered entirely around maximizing our exposure to those sexy sexxxy rookies.

You see, now more than ever the NFL is a young man’s game. The league has evolved in many ways that favor the young player:


More coaches are more able and willing these days to construct their schemes around players’ natural strengths


More general managers are savvy enough to draft players specifically for those prescribed roles


More teams attempt to play faster by keeping a relatively small playbook that functions out of multiple formations


League rules pertaining to pass coverage have changed as to give an advantage to faster and less physical pass-catchers

Add to this the facts that EVERY player gets hurt and ALL the owners are trying to reduce payroll, and you have a league that is ripe with opportunity for only the youngest and most athletic players.

All of these factors have seemed to have been developing over several years. But what has been the real (fantasy) impact?

Take a walk with me through Recent Special Ed Rookie History:

2012: The watershed moment for Special Ed Rookies was in 2012, when Golden Richards took home the SESB title behind a rookie QB (RGIII) and RB1 (Trent Richardson). 2012 was also the year that DYM Legend DOUG MARTIN broke the mold by gaining 1,926 scrimmage yards and 12 TDs, both career highs.

2013: The next year Le’Veon Bell and Gio Bernard exploded onto the scene with over 1,200 yards and 8 TDs apiece.

2014: In 2014 Gio was unseated by another rookie, Jeremy Hill. That year Brandin Cooks, Mike Evans and Sammy Watkins were sought after draft commodities; but it was Odell Beckham Jr. who finished in the top 10 with over 1,300 yards and 12 TDs, taking home the DYM AWARD for Best Waiver Pickup of 2014.

2015: 2015 was a slight lull in Rookie Fantasy production. But they undoubtedly impacted the league: Amari Cooper was the only stand-out WR and the team that drafted him won the first 10 games of the ’15 season. That year it also seemed that potential future stars like Melvin Gordon, Stephon Diggs and Ameer Abdullah were gaining much more visibility (and Special Ed ownership) than rookies of the past.

2016: By the 2016 draft it was quite clear that the word was out on Rookies being the hottest dudes when Zeke Elliott (STILL NOT SUSPENDED!!) was drafted 8th overall by the Polk High Panthers. Jordan Howard and Jay Ajayi also became contributors to top Special Ed teams.

… and did I mention how funny these kids’ names are these days??

2017 ROOKIE POWER RANKINGS!

1 – SHHHH. BE VEWY VEWY QUIET. KAWEEM HUNTIN WABBITS

2 – DALVIN AND THE CHIMPMUNKS

3 – BABYTRON aka KENNY GOATADAY

4 – LEONARD FOURNETTE – (hard name to type, way too many vowels)

5 – TARIK COHEN “The Ultimate Semite”

6 – COOPER “SIPPY” KUPP

7 – CHRISTIAN MCCAFFEREY

8 – COREY DAVIS

[on the radar: Kizer, Watson, Trubisky, Mixon, Jones, Williams, Williams, Williams]

btw – I was fading Fournette cause of the foot situation, but he went off on Sunday. I should have never doubted the guy who has this as his Twitter Header:




HERE’S WHY ZEKE IS NOT GONNA BE SUSPENDED THIS YEAR

I mean, the real reason is that he was set up and the whole case is BS.

But @defendyourmoves followers already know that.

The DYM Legal Department sent us this article tho, it’s a good read.





AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK RECAP

AGOTW PREDICTIONS RECORD: 0-1

Like I said the other day, this was a tough week to pick AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK. Almost every matchup was marred by late injuries or hurricane-forced rescheduling. So we went with the Elite QB matchup in what turned out to be a week where QB play was in a shambles league-wide. Would you believe ALEX SMITH was the week’s #1 QB?

Nuts.

Only 4 QBs threw for over 300 in the Sunday games and 2 of them were GOFF and WENTZ, yuck. Rodgers got his yardage for Fay but added a pick and only 1 TD for a Ryan Fitzpatrick-esque 15.32 pts.

Still this was a closely contested matchup that was not decided until early Wedsday morning.

White Walkers’ non-QBs were solid all around. Highlights include a perfectly adequate 76 yards from the 2014 Special Ed Super Bowl Champ Delanie Walker; and Tucker held it down with a couple CLUTCH FGs.

 Bell was a disappointment, but not nearly as disappointing as David Johnson. The highlight for WW was the return of Marshawn Lynch to full Beast Mode status. Not a rookie but still a very sexy fantasy play.




On the other side, of course Brady was a stinker, but a monster game from Antonio Brown and big contributions from Ty Montgomery and a smooth sensual Rookie RB kept Bitchslapped afloat until the DEN defense could seal the win.

It’s survive and advance for the BS squad. Her weak link was, as predicted, was Allen Robinson. Gillislee was the correct play for Abby this week, and she’ll likely make that move next week with Robinson OUT.

It’s normally not in good taste to laugh at a guy getting injured, but we saw this on twitter last night and had a good little chuckle.




I had some things on this in mind to DYM about this but then I listened to Pardon My Take this morning and they took all my jokes! So instead of those I’ll just take this opportunity to give yall the long-awaited:

DYM’s TOP PODACASTS OF 2017

BEST SPORTS PODCAST: PARDON MY TAKE

Most of the Podcasts I listen to are sports related, so this is actually the overall #1 as well.

I assume some of yall are already Award Winning Listeners like myself (back-to-back baby!!). But if you’re NOT listening to Pardon My Take, YOU’RE FUCKING UP. I feel like PFT Commenter and Big Cat are the fathers to our style here at DYM, even though we started about 3 years earlier. They get fantastic interviews from A-List sports personalities and their shit is just hilarious. We try really hard not to steal their jokes, but ya know, fair play.

BEST MOVIE PODCAST: THE FILMDRUNK FROTCAST It’s not even about movies most of the time and the movie takes aren’t even that hot, but it’s a very funny show. The host of the show is Vince Mancini of FilmDrunk.com but the STAR is Matt Lieb (@lieb123456789 on twitter) he’s a real sicko, sort of the Jim Norton character to Vince’s Opie and Anthony.

BEST POLITICS PODCAST: THE ALEX JONES SHOW

Hahaha! Nah. That’d be crazy tho, right?

BEST LEFTY POLITICS PODCAST: POD SAVE AMERICA

The best thing Bill Simmons ever did was give these guys a show on The Ringer last year (the extant “Keepin’ It 1600”). Now they run a network of left-leaning political podcasts called Crooked Media (get it?), Pod Save America is the flagship show, and really the best politics talk out there. The hosts are all former Obama and Clinton staffers and speech writers and they’re the most insightful and best informed bunch of SJW liberal cuck-tards you’ll ever hear.

BEST HATE LISTEN: REVISIONIST HISTORY WITH MALCOLM GLADWELL It was really close between this and The Bill Simmons Podcast. Really, whenever Gladwell goes on the Simmons show that’s the #1 hate listen of the year. If you ever want to LISTEN to two dudes try to suck themselves off, then pat themselves on the back, then applaud each other’s efforts to suck themselves off and pat their own backs, find any BS Podcast with Gladwell on it. It’s a real treat.

Gladwell’s own show is awful in really special ways. MG likes to explore Big Questions, which is why people think he’s a philosopher. Problem is he’ll introduce a Big Question then pick the most inane useless nuance of that question and just talk about that. Then he NEVER goes back to the actually interesting part of the question. Like the point of the thing is just to show you how much research he did on something you don’t care about. It’s just nuance for nuance’s sake. Very fucking annoying.

BEST FANTASY FOOTBALL PODCAST: LIVING THE STREAM

JJ Zachariason and Denny Carter host a podcast dedicated SOLELY to identifying weekly options for streaming QB’s, DEF’s and occasionally TE’s. JJ’s twitter handle is @theLateRoundQB, he wrote a book by the same name espousing the virtues of waiting until the late rounds of fantasy drafts to take a QB. It’s a pretty well-known concept nowadays but that’s his brand. They are also very funny and I DO steal their jokes. (eg: JJ is a big time Kenny Golladay truther and coined the name “Babytron”)

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!

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