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Total moves this week: 16 Dumpster Diver of the Week: Saquon’s Heisman – 4 Moves

Great Job, Everybody! 16 is a lot of moves for week 1. But we can do better, I still see some highly droppable players out there. Like Allen Robinson. Too bad Abby doesn’t read this. Somebody shoot her a text.

Even though The Commish squeaked out a win last week he had already switched out three RBs and a kicker by Tuesday. Chris probably felt like he made a few mistakes in the draft. But now that he’s got TWO Bears RBs and TWO Cardinals RBs, this garbage squad is almost complete. I will never understand why, but the Commish does this every year. He loves having two RBs on the same team, even more so if that team isn’t very good. This always makes his start-sit decisions very interesting.

I also made four moves this week, but actually only replaced 2 players from my draft class. The emergence of Kareem “The Dream” Hunt as the NEW David Johnson went a very long way to soften the blow of losing the OLD David Johnson. We’re very far from panicking right now. The DYM squad still feels real strong even without DJ. We’ll hold our nose and start Quizz for a few weeks, then see if Ingram or Mixon are starters yet. We got some moves to make, but they might not be on the waiver wire.

Here’s some food for thought:

DJ comes off IR the DAY BEFORE the Special Ed Trade Deadline. And since he can’t get any more injured between now and then, the longer I hold him the more valuable he gets, right?

So, who wants to buy a dream???

You guys know we’re always accepting offers.


SIX (6!!) rookies were scooped up off the waiver wire this week. ROOKIES PICKED UP: Cohen, Golladay, Davis, Carson, Tavecchio, Kupp ROOKIES DROPPED: Zay Jones, D’Onta Foreman

•    The first move of the year was Team Meh adding a last minute starting QB. Meh dropped Eli Rogers to get Rivers in the door. That’s smart because Rookies are the shit out here, but NOT 2nd year players. They are almost never good. Just ask Keenan Allen. That rookie hype can take a real toll on a player, sometimes it can take a Sexy Rookie 3 or 4 years to regain his old form.

•    A waiver claim was also placed for Zay Jones on the first day of free agency. But Randall Cummingham learned quickly that although Zay earned the job, the “Bills #1 WR” might not be a fantasy viable position this year. We’ll never forget the day Zay was dropped for another rookie, albeit one with a much less funny name, TEN’s Corey Davis!

By The Way:

On Monday we were in a meeting at work and this guy told us it was his birthday. We were like “Wow your birthday’s on 9/11?! Well at least people will NEVER FORGET your birthday, eh? eh?” He just stared at us and shook his head. We got no laughs. Too soon?

•    On Sunday, The Commish and I may have been the only ones watching football, cause The Ultimate Semite and Golladay Stylez were the clear breakout stars of the week and obvious free agent priorities.

•    Golden Richards added to his rookie RB stable this week. Carson Daly is the only Seattle player that got any positive buzz this off season. Russell and Doug are known quantities at this point which, in the NFL, means they’re in decline. Rawls isn’t really back yet and Lacy is fatter than Zeke. If SEA o-line can manage to not be awful, then Carson has a real shot to be productive as a starter for the Seahawks.

•    The Polk High Panthers got up early this morning with a very very interesting move. Cooper Kupp could be for real. He kinda looks better than Sammy Watkins, but more importantly he might be a better fantasy option for PHP than TY Hilton. But more importantly for all of us, Rob Kelley was dropped. So now the entire Washington backfield is unowned, seems like there might be an opportunity there for a team that lost their #1 overall pick to a wrist injury last week.

•    Giorgio Tevecchio has a beautiful, lyrical Italian name. Just a pleasure to say. He’s actually not a rookie, technically, but last week was his first ever regular season NFL appearance, so he makes the list. Bravo Giorgio! Congratulazioni!


Polk High Panthers vs. Randall Cummingham I feel bad for these guys cause they have a lot of action in some ugly ugly NFL mathcups.

•    TY Hilton’s Colts play Arizona. A very bad matchup for TY, Matt may bench him for the Rookie Cooper Kupp. But can you believe the over/under on this game is 44?? That’s about 40 points too high.

•    Mike Evans makes his 2017 debut against the receiverless Bears. This might not be a high scoring affair either.

•    Randall has two guys, and Matt may have one rookie, in the Rams vs Redskins. Washington looked very bad last week, and the Rams are well known to be bad, despite the youth movement. If you don’t have a lot of action, I’d recommend a 4pm nap this Sunday.

•    But first, the Thursday night game this week is classic stinker, but these guys will each start a Bengal and Matt will likely start a Texan as well.

Fortunately they both have Kickers in the ATL vs GB Sunday nighter, so strap in for that one!

I see Big Ben having a bounce-back game at home, and Mariota being overwhelmed by the new-look Jags defense. If Matt sacks up and benches Hilton for Kupp he will be greatly rewarded.

Prediciton: PHP – 101.12 RC – 95.90


White Walkers vs. DYM faces Special Ed’s newest Kicking Expert in week 2. I was watching Joe Mixon highlights on youtube yesterday and the comments said he’s better than Le’Veon Bell. I should probably start him here.

Saquon’s Heisman vs. Bitchslapped Abby has a real shot at a once unlikely 2-0 start with three Patriots rolling into a shoot-out in New Orleans. She still needs to actually open that Yahoo! App and get Allen Robinson out of the flex first, tho. WAKE UP ABBY, YOU’RE WINNING!!!

15 Yards of Baldwin vs. iQue Lastima! These two teams own 45% of the league’s quarterbacks. Maybe they should trade for an RB with an injured wrist?

Team Meh vs. Golden Richards Wow. It says here Hopkins got 16 targets last week. That’s a fucking LOT of targets. He’s on pace for 256 targets on the season. Hopkins career high was 192 in 2015, that season he only topped 15 in a game once.

I’m working from home today so I’ll be available all day taking your start/sit questions on twitter or chat with me RIGHT HERE on!!

I’m also planning on drinking early tomorrow to get ready for the season’s first Color Rush, THERE’S GONNA BE ORANGE!!




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