DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2025 WEEK 5!!!!!
- Defend Your Moves
- Oct 2
- 7 min read
Well folks.
It's been a long time.
For three years and ten months the Special Ed League held a perfect shameless record. There were a few goose eggs along the way and a couple close calls, but since January 1, 2022 no one has been enshrined in The Hall of Shame -- until today.
For those that may have forgotten - The Special Ed League Hall of Shame was erected during the great asterisk season of 2018. Therein the ignominious [REDACTED] Team drafted one of the most absurd rosters in fantasy history (including 2 TE's, 2 QB's, 2 D's, 3 pre-season injuries, and 4 Eagles). They didn't even have enough players for a week 1 roster and made zero (0) moves until November. That season, any team in Special Ed who was outscored by the shameful [REDACTED] had their names etched in the Special Ed Hall of Shame. 23 entries were made in the HOS in 2018, and we had hoped they would be the last.
Ever since, DYM has steadfastly declared that failing to set your fantasy lineup is SHAMEFUL, but the worst is LOSING to a team who didn't set their lineup.
Last week The Hamburglars neglected to pick up a backup QB when Jayden Daniels was ruled out with a knee injury. The 'Burglars shoulda been cooked. Not only did they take the goose egg at QB, but they also lost Malik Nabers to injury and the Packers D got into a Sunday night barnburner. Nabers had 3 and GB had -3 so basically this team had THREE zeros and they STILL WON. Its fucking crazy. They got 130 points from six guys and a kicker. Its really fucking impressive if we're being honest, but still, Doug's gotta take care of business here. Absolutely miserable fantasy defense from the Tacos Squad.
Doug Falls to 2-2 in what many thought would be a bounce-back season. Josh Allen and Christian McCaffrey both have Special Ed Super Bowl rings, and TreVeyon Henderson is a very sexy rookie with a name that's almost impossible to type. That's a recipe for success. This team is still 3rd in total points after putting up 126 this week but it remains to be seen what impact this devastatingly shameful loss will have on their momentum and confidence going forward.
WHATS UP SPECIAL ED?!?!?!?!?!
We know you guys have been missing the DYM Updates this year after we left yall hanging all off-season too. We were honestly just crazy fuckin busy with our real life this summer, and its probably for the best that we avoided writing anything about the second Trump administration. But still we know we owe you guys for skipping out on the first four weeks of the 2025 season. So we got a little present for yall -- it's a new website!!! DEFENDYOURMOVES.COM/dymAI !!!!!!
We spent like 40% of our free time this summer building data analysis tools that'll help us win prop bets and give us fantasy advice in Miss Cleo's voice. Now its all here on Defend Your Moves dot com slash dymAI!!!!!
We're pulling all the official NFL play-by-play data using R and crafting our own player profiles, matchup rankings and usage trends. The results is an outlandish 72% success rate over ~1,200 prop bet lines in the last four weeks. We were just fucking with the numbers still until this past week, but we jumped in on week four and CRUSHED DraftKings Sportsbook. Now, cause we like you guys, we're wrapping our results up in a neat little web app that you guys can use for your own entertainment purposes only.
If you have a more pointed fantasy/sport-betting inquiry, and you don't feel like scrolling through 300ish prop bet lines, you can now ask Miss Cleo.
This is not a joke.
We fed this chat bot (GPT-4-mini) all the outputs from prop bet algo and the usage trend data so it actually gives you real advice on start-sits and over-unders. But it does so in a hilarious fake patois. What a time to be alive!!!!!
There's also a fantasy trades recommendations chart but its probably not that useful as long as Quentin Johnson is outscoring Saquon 😒.
FOOD BEEF 2025: TACOS!!!!!
We had some EXCELLENT tacos the other night from Leyendas de Mexico in Morris Plains. This place is out west on rt 10 near Mount Tabor. A friend of ours is a member at Mount Tabor Country Club and we were supposed to play there Tuesday but got fucked up at work and ended up going to Pinch Brook instead. Thing is the wife didnt know we changed tee times and called in a take out order from Leyendas. That kinda sucked cause it was like a 45 minute round trip, but it was totally worth it.
We got these chicken flautas with fresh tomatoes and avocado on top.
The one we got actually looked a lot better than this picture. It had big slices of avocado and a really nice fresh salsa. The yellow rice and black beans were excellent as well.
The wife and kid got the chicken soup which featured whole chicken legs and big chunky leaves of cilantro that they both fuckin loved.
JUDGES SCORES:
Chicken Soup - 10
Salsa - 10
Tacos - 9
Total Score: 9.6
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!
The Hamburglars vs. Blame the ceiling!!!!!
One reason we thought we could skate by without writing this year was cause Yahoo implemented their own "Game Of The Week". Yahoo is a big site too, there's already food reviews on Yahoo and plenty of blogs about ghosts and aliens and Star Wars. So now that they have their own Games Of the Weeks and their own AI Fantasy Bots, what's left for a scrappy little mom and pop operation like Defend Your Moves?????
Fortunately we got pulled up out of those doldrums this week with our latest induction into The Hall of Shame - the last truly sacred institution of DYM. smgdh.
Although it'd been almost four years since the last HoS induction, there's actually a chance we could go back to back here in week 5. America's Game of the Week features two of the top four highest scoring Special Ed teams, both 3-1, and both with elite QBs that are injured and have no back ups. Jayden Daniels is returning to practice today so there's a good chance he goes, but on the other side Lamar is listed as DOUBTFUL and hasn't practiced this week.
There's plenty of decent QBs available in this league so it should be avoidable, but in our heart of hearts we really wanna see one of these teams take the goose egg. That shit got us so fuckin hyped on Sunday when we saw the Hall of Shame was in play. Fuckin electric.
This matchup is gonna come down to roster management and we've already seen that The Burglars don't have the wherewithal to make moves on the weekends, so this week The Ceiling is the roof!!!
PREDICTION:
The Hamburglars - 116.84
Blame the ceiling - 125.18
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!
Always be Chimpin' vs Paul's Phenomenal Team
Paul just traded away Ladd McConkey for Matthew Golden. We like that trade a lot for Paul but it puts him in a very tough spot this week with Golden and Jauan Jennings on bye. They'll need to hit that dumpster for a WR.
Chimpin is going for a dumpster dive too this week with Tyreek Hill going to IR and Pearsall on bye. Theoretically they could start Tee Higgins and Brian Robinson but we wouldn't
Pauls Phenomenal Team WINS!!!!!
BIGFLIPPERS vs dead-on footballs accurate 🤏
IDK if we can bring Kyrie back in this current political climate, but there's one batshit-ass story in the news today that we think we can talk freely about: 3I/Motherfucking/ATLAS. Fuckin love this thing. Its so crazy. Its a comet (we think) that's only the third interstellar object that's ever been observed in our solar system.
Last month it cruised weirdly close to Mars, which made it do a hard right turn around the sun - Apollo 13 style - sending it on a potential collision course with Jupiter later this year.
Right now it's on the other side of the sun so we can't see it anymore but the last few days of observations were really fuckin hype for the psychos on twitter.
See, there's this weirdo Israeli Professor at Harvard called Avi Loeb who published a paper about how "unusual" the third ever interstellar object is -- so it might actually be an alien space ship and not a comet. We probably should be more supportive of Dr. Loeb cause it says here he's a professor of cosmology which sounds dope, like he mighta toured with Parliament Funkadelic back in the 70s. But you can fuckin miss us with all that aliens shit, we're not tryina hear it.
This dude has been goin hard on the internet for like the last three months. Obviously he got debunked like fuckin crazy as the rock got closer and real astronomers got a better look at it. But homeboy's got a Medium blog where he's posting new "findings" every other day tryin to re-bunk his stupid fucking aliens theory. And the idiots online are just eating it up they cant get enough.
Its fucking ridiculous, everything's fucking aliens to these people. Weird helicopter? aliens. Big rock in space? aliens. Mummies? aliens. Some gooey shit in the woods? aliens. So stupid yo. We got into it with our kid a few weeks ago when he started poppin that Neil deGrasse Tyson bullshit. Talkin bout "aliens have to be real because numbers". Turns out this stupid kid thinks aliens are real and Bigfoot isnt. Like, what? He's ten. He's not even five feet tall, how does he not believe in "big hominids"? Fuckin every adult is bigfoot far as he's concerned. So dumb.
Anyway, thats where we got our team name from. Cause we always say that Bigfoot can't be debunked cause there's so much unexplored wilderness in Canada. And if you don't buy that, then just think about how much unexplored OCEAN there is... We have no idea what's at the bottom of Hudson Bay.
You say its aliens, we say it's Bigflippers.
BIG FLIPPERS WINS!!!!!
Uncle Rico's Revenge vs I 💖 Auntie Cynthula
We feel like this coulda been game of the week if Ja'Marr and Derrick Henry didn't suck now. Pretty sure Quentin Johnson is the best player in this matchup.
Uncle Rico's Revenge WINS!!!!!
Erin Ertz vs Tobin & The Rippers
We were looking at this matchup thinking about all kinds of nice things to say about Erin Ertz. Love Nico and Sutton. Hurts is money. Javonte is hot. Tyler Warren is the best football player in the world... But then we're scrolling down like what the fuck? There's three TE's on this team? What is going on here??? And the crazy thing is that if he could, he'd be starting all three. We actually like Kelce over McConkey this week. SMGDH. What a world.
Tobin & The Rippers WINS!!!!!
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