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HAPPY THANKSGIVING, SPECIAL ED!!!!!!!!!!!!


We fucking LOVE Thanksgiving you guys. Somebody remarked to us yesterday that Thanksgiving Wednesday is the best day of the year cause everybody's super chill before the four day weekend. It hadn't really ever occurred to us before, but it's true - no other holiday has a legally mandated four day weekend. That fuckin' rules. Now, there are bound to be other four day weekends throughout the year - like we almost never work on Memorial Day Friday - but the fact that Thanksgiving is ALWAYS a four-day, and that everybody gets it, makes the vibe super chill. Institutionalized chill. Fuckin love thanksgiving, you guys.


LETS GOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

NEW TRADE DEADLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!


There's still been no trades yet in Special Ed this year and that's kinda sad. There's never been a Special Ed Season with no trades and we'd prefer there to never be one. So we pushed the deadline back to 12/2 (end of week 13) to give you guys a little more time to get your shit together.

Right now there's three weeks left in the regular season so there are a few teams in this league that need to WIN NOW to secure a playoff spot. Lets take a look at some trade options:


TOBIN & THE RIPPERS (6-5)

Justin Jefferson & Charbonnet <--> Puka Nacua & Christian Kirk

Justin Jefferson is still "questionable" this week and has a bye next week. He might be coming back right around the new deadline, so the trade window on Jefferson might have just been re-opened.


Tobin's biggest problem right now is they only have 3 healthy WRs. So they could look to swap Just Jeff's busted ass for a serviceable WR or two. But of course he'll have to engage the teams that already have 8 wins - who could theoretically spare a starter and be able to stash Jefferson.

Paul's Phenomenal Team has a plethora of WRs, and two of the sexiest - Josh Downs and Puka Nacua - were waiver wire pickups. Everybody loves trading away pick-ups for established players, so we think this deal could get done.

If Paul still doesn't want to trade away Puka, Tobin should definitely be asking about Downs too.


HAMBURGLARS (7-4)

Breece Hall <--> Brandon Aiyuk

The 'Burglars also need an upgrade at WR, but we don't think they're gonna be able to sell any of the WRs they have now: Chase and Hopkins are stay-aways with questionable QB situations, and Deebo is himself questionable - he's been playing hurt all year and hasn't had a good game since week 3. That's exactly why Kull should trade for Aiyuk - the Niners are still gonna Niner, and Kull's gotta bench Deebo right now. Flip flip.

While The 'Burglars are talking to Matt they should be asking about Michael Pittman too. And if that doesn't get done they should hit up Andy to get Nico Collins or DK Metcalf.


I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING!

DK Metcalf & Just Herbert <--> Saquon & Goff

Nico Collins & DK Metcalf <--> Breece Hall & DeAdre Hopkins

IAWTGG is probably the most trade-ready team in this league since the have two pairs of WRs on the same teams (DK & Lockett and Nico & Noah Brown). They should definitely be looking to sell DK and Nico. Even if its a lateral move on paper, diversifying the roster should help them be more consistent down the stretch.


 

JOE BRADY (AMERICAN FOOTBALL COACH)

This is nondescript motherfucker right here is "Joe Brady" - the Bills' new offensive coordinator. We're kinda fascinated by this guy cause he looks like the one white guy from Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, and nobody really knows if he's a good football coach or not.

He's only been an OC for three seasons: One was an undefeated National Championship at LSU - but with Joe Burrow, Justin Jefferson, Ja'marr Chase, and Clyde Edwards-Helaire all on the same team, so it's hard to give him a ton of credit in retrospect. Then he had two really bad seasons as OC for the Panthers - but that was right after they cut Cam Newton, and McCaffrey got hurt, and there was no preseason cause of COVID. So there's not a lot to take away from that stint either. Now Joe Brady is on his third NFL coaching staff but he's still a tabula rasa to us.


We don't know a lot about Joe Brady except that he grew up in Miami and went to Everglades High School - which is a public school in Florida, so he's probably not all that smart. Also his sister Jacey used to be a Dolphins' Cheerleader. So there's that.


He also has a hilariously on brand twitter feed for a dimwitted football-guy. Every time the Bills win he posts "1-0" after the game. And that's the ONLY thing he posts during football season. Which is how you can tell that he's laser focused and totally dedicated to his craft.

Reminds us of Lebron's "Zero Dark-23" campaign where he went on instagram to announce that he was gonna not be on instagram during the playoffs. It's fucking dumb as shit if you ask us, but from what we can tell, Joey B's been doing this since the LSU days at least, and he's been hired by two different NFL teams since then so he is fooling somebody, apparently.


Godspeed, Joe Brady.

 

WHOS HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Believe it or not, we've actually been keeping track of Who's Hot for the last couple months even though we haven't been blogging. And it sucks that we've been so busy with work cause we really wanted to write a Who's Hot?! a couple weeks ago when we saw how hot Doug's team had gotten. That was wild for just a second there. They were by far the hottest team after they beat Paul in week 9.

That was the same week when some weirdo posted on reddit about trading Christian McCaffrey in exchange for the opportunity to bang his friend's wife...

That stupid shit went viral, and a disappointing number of people believed that it was real. But anytime someone shared it to us we'd just be like "Woah. Huge tits? Pull the trigger, bro!"


At the time we didn't point out to anyone that "Simple_Ad8433" was an obvious troll account which had just been created that week (now deleted). We also didn't tell anyone that we'd already gone through "Jmufranco"s social media history, and found out he studied Criminal Justice at James Madison, so we're like 90% sure that he's some sorta spook...


That blog woulda been a fuckin banger, but unfortunately Doug's pretty much done-for now. He's still got the second hottest team in this league, but they're just one game away from mathematical elimination. The best they can do now is 6-8. Although it's technically possible, we don't even think any 7-win teams will get in the playoffs this year.


Which means that Not Friend Time is gonna have to run the table - again.


Back in 2014, when we won our first Special Ed chip, the OG Not Friend Time had a pretty rocky start to the season. We were 4-5 heading into week 10, averaging a measley 106 points per game -- just like we were this year. Obviously, after week 10 we turned it the fuck on - hero's journey third act style - and reeled off 7 straight wins, averaging over 130 per game -- just like we are right now.


You guys should all try to hang with your families as much as you can this holiday season, cause the next six weeks it's NOT FRIEND TIME motherfuckers!!!! LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!


 

FOOD BEEF 2023:

FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Namkeen Chicken & Waffles - Chatham, NJ

The FOOD BEEF regular season comes to an close today.


We ate our eighth chicken sandwich of the season at Namkeen Chicken & Waffles -- and it was the fucking BOMB!!!

Namkeen were preseason favorites in this competition, and they lived up to the hype today. Both the sandwiches our judges sampled checked all the boxes: Crispy fried skin, juicy breast meat, fresh toppings, and a nice soft bun. It's definitely the best we've sandwich we've had in NJ this year.


The proprietors of Namkeen are from Pakistan you know they make their shits spicy as fuck. We ordered "hot" once and we almost died, so usually we get the "medium" heat and it still gives us a nice little sweat. They make two styles of hot chicken: Tikka masala, or Nashville hot. We got the Nashville and the wife got the tikka and they were both excellent. The Nashville was hot and tasty, and the tikka had a great depth of flavor with a lot of cumin and curry. You can also get tikka sauce and shredded chicken on french fries or mac and cheese (also the bomb), and they make big fat Belgian waffles too cause, why not?


NAMKEEN SANDWICH SCORE: 9


Now the field is set for the Chicken Sandwich playoff tournament!!!!

Next week, in the Classic Fried division we've got Marie's Chicken Joint vs. Tony Boy's Sandwich House. Then in week 14 we'll judge the Hot Chicken division finalists, Super Chix and Namkeen. The winners of each division will face off in week 15 for the FOOD BEEF FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!

 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT FRIEND TIME vs. ERIN ERTZ

Just a few weeks ago Erin Ertz was the toast of Special Ed. They were all alone in first place at 8-1, scoring 138 per game. But the last three weeks EE hit a wintry cold streak. They've lost their last two and haven't scored over 110 since week 8.

On the other side is Team DYM who were fucking lucky to get three wins out of their pitiful first 8 weeks. We scored about ten points per game less than Dave and about 20 less than Matt and they each only got one win in that span. Since then we've won two of the last three and we're the hottest team in the league, scoring over 140 per game.


The weird thing is that we're both starting pretty much the same teams this week that we started in week 1. Only now Rob's team is playing like shit and our team is balling out of control. We don't really know why this is happening, and its kinda weird, so let's just say it's ghosts.


Prediction:

NOT FRIEND TIME!!!🏆🏆🏆🏆 - 169.93

Erin Ertz - 112.46


NOT FRIEND TIME!!!🏆🏆🏆🏆 WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tobin & The Rippers vs. I ❤️ Auntie Cynthula

It'd be really cool if Matt and Luca could get a fucking win here. Would be huge for us. But, on the other hand, we can't help but think how funny it would be if Tobin let Matt nail his wife for a McCaffrey trade.


TOPIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dumb but Pretty vs. Paul's Phenomenal Team

These teams are both really good right now - the two highest scoring teams in each of the last two weeks. What's annoying is that they both have some sexily over-producing players that they should trade, but they won't. These teams have been good all year long and they don't have much injury problems right now, so they're probably not gonna rock the boat. But they should. Whatever. We'll see you fuckers in the playoffs.


PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!


The Hamburglars vs. 🧨 I-R-f00tbols!!! 🏈🤕

There's a new Godzilla show on AppleTV+ right now. It's in the same universe as Godzilla vs. Kong and all those other new shits. Those flicks are all bad movies but very fun to watch, we're pretty into em. But unfortunately Apple is only giving us the first episode for free, and it was kind of a snore. Mostly just a bunch of people who have problems with other people, and Godzilla didn't show up. We're pretty sure he's gonna show up soon tho, so holler at us if any of yall have an appletv+ password.


HAMBURGLARS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!


Blank Space vs. I also want to go golfing

It would also be pretty cool of Dave got a win this week. Probably not gonna happen tho cause his team is playing like absolute dog shit since Taylor went on the international tour.


I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!



What's up Special Ed?


It's raining today. They say it's gonna rain all weekend - for like the fifth week in a row. Weekend rain is bullshit. Kids get all antsy, wife finds chores for us to do, and we gotta smoke in the basement like we're in fucking high school. The weather's generally been nice during the week but it's really hard to get 18 holes in on a weekday. So we got a couple new hobbies -


The first is FREE MOVIES ON YOUTUBE. As you might imagine most of the movies available for free on youtube are BAD MOVIES. Which makes them perfect rainy day watches. It's pretty much the 21st century version of WPIX Saturday afternoon movies from the 80s and 90s.

There's been free movies on youtube since 2018, but there weren't all that many until recently. In March 2023 youtube added 1,500 movies and 100 TV shows to the FREE collection - but with a fun twist:

You can't find them!!! You can't just browse the entire free collection. Instead the "FREE" section on YouTube Movies only shows you a few hundred titles at a time, hand-selected just for you by Al G. Rhythm himself. "YouTube is personalized to users, so instead of seeing the entire library at once in the links, users see personalized selections for them. Once users begin watching or when new titles cycle in or out, the makeup of the selection in the shelves will change."

Everybody here on the DYM Staff are huge algorithm guys. We love a good algorithm.

It's always been fun to surf for bad movies, it's such a crap shoot - Sometimes bad movies are the best, but obviously sometimes they're unwatchable. But now, not only do we have to avoid those landmine movies, but we also have to make sure we don't interact with any content that might lead to other landmine recommendations. For instance, we're getting close to being bored enough to watch all three Twilight movies, but we're definitely NOT gonna do it on youtube. And then we're not even letting our mouse hover over any of these flicks here cause we get enough government propaganda watching CNN:


On the other hand we immediately opened all of these flicks in new tabs. Even if we don't watch em right away, we gotta get those clicks logged in the algo:

The first free movie we watched was the cult classic Equilibrium. That one was wild. The plot is fucking swiss cheese, but its got that Gun-Kata which was truly groundbreaking. Its awesome that guys like Liam Neesens and Christian Bale exist. They are legitimate very good actors, but they just don't give a fuck how bad their movies are. They are a gift.


Next, we watched Guy Ritchie's King Arthur: Legend of the Sword.

We almost didn't get through it. You know it's at least mostly bad cause it stars Charlie Hunnam in the titular role, and he's probably in the bottom 5th percentile of working actors today, but he gets to speak in an English accent in this so he's tolerable. Hunnam just eats shit for like the first hour-twenty. It took three days but we stuck with it cause it's got Jude Law and Blood Diamond and like half the cast of Game of Thrones.

We watched the last 40 minutes today and holy shit. It was awesome. Soon as Hunnam finally gets that magic sword workin, he fucks shit the fuck up crazy. Lightsabers are trash, magic swords rule.

Also there's this one scene where Jude Law hangs out with some octopus-mermaids, which, as you know, is the #1 sexiest mythical creature of all time.

It's too bad nobody went to see this movie back in 2017 cause at one point Warner Bros had a plan for a 7-film "Arthurian Extended Universe" which could have been crazy bad and also crazy sexy. Missed opportunity for sure.


Right now we're watching 2017's Sunshine. It's an ASTRONAUT MOVIE!!!

"In the year 2057, Earth's last hope lies with a spacecraft whose mission is to deliver a nuclear device designed to reignite our fading sun."

The astronaut crew includes Captain America, the bride from Bridesmaids, The Scarecrow, Wong from Dr. Strange, and that gangster with the mustache from Training Day. It's a whos-who of "that guy from that thing" actors, but we're not sure any of them are convincing astronauts. Danny Boyle is an Oscar winning director (Slumdog Millionaire), but in this flick it's like he's trying to do a pastiche of Stanley Kubrick, and it's kinda hard to follow so far. We'll let yall know if it gets better.

 

Our other new hobby is something we're not sure we should talk about too much online. We can follow up on this in the group text if you're interested - We definitely wanna hear some feedback on this from Andy and Dave and the other math guys on the chain.


It's called "N3gat!ve Č0rrel@tiön S@me-g@me-p@rl@ys" -- Don't google it!!! We really don't want Al G. to find out that we're doing this.

It's pretty simple. You just build a p@rl@y, and then add a pick that has a n3g@tive

č0rrel@tion with your other picks.

In the example below we have Arizona (dog) and two TD scorers. Logically, any set of 2 TDs are more likely to happen in a game with more than 44.5 points than a game with less than 44.5. So, when we pair those TDs with the over, we get 5% better odds, but if we go with the game under we get an over 300% bump.

Even though there's worse odds on the under, it still blows up the p@rl@y. So it's clear that the book is calculating the č0rr3l@tion somehow. It makes sense for the book to deflate the odds for pô$!tively č0rr3l@ted legs - as you can see between the original SGP and the "with OVER" - because it's more likely to happen... But is it really 60x more likely? Probably not.

In our experience NFL OU's are a pretty tight market, where those lines are very often within 3 of the actual result -- and a 3-point NFL game is a coin flip. But the thing is that the pô$!tively č0rr3l@ted b3ts are also the ones that square-ass public b3ttors are more likely to take. So the book has to reduce their stake in that scenario by deflating the odds drastically. The upshot is that the odds get skewed just as badly on the n3g@tive č0rrel@tion side as they do on the pô$!tive. So that's where we're trying to be at.


If you pick dodgy TD scorers (like a D/ST or a backup TE) then it gets really crazy. We had one on Sunday night with Giants+Hodgins+Bellinger+Under that was paying 1,250:1. For real. $15 for $18K seems like a good investment.

And it doesn't have to be unders, of course, it works the other way too - with, say, QB yards or passing TD unders and an OVER for the game - that's definitely in play for PSU-OSU tomorrow. Lets go.


We're gonna be rich, you guys.

 

FOOD BEEF 2023: CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!!!!!!

HANGRY JOE'S - Florham Park, NJ (hot)

We got Hangry Joe's regular sandwich - "The Chicken Sando" - and it was ridiculous. It just seemed poorly thought out. They put a whole-ass chicken breast on a little round potato roll. Then there was a shit load of coleslaw on the sandwich end, and it had like no flavor. The slaw had a rough texture too that really only served to make the bread even more crumbly.


It was extremely cumbersome. Almost impossible to operate, like we were trying to drive a backhoe drunk. By the time we got a couple bites into the bread part it was a total mess. We would have needed a spoon to finish it, so we eventually gave up.


HANGRY JOES SANDWICH SCORE - 6

 

TONY'S BOYS SANDWICH SHOP - Madison, NJ (regular)

The chicken sandwich is Tony Boy's signature. But we have to point out that although the chicken is fried this is technically a Chicken Cutlet sandwich, not a traditional fried chicken sandwich. That being said, this is an AMAZING chicken cutlet sandwich. The bread is soft and gluten-y and the chicken is delicious - as are all the optional toppings.

The editor-in-chief got bacon, avocado, swiss; and the wife got roasted red peppers, mutz, and balsamic. Both were delicious, and the sub-style sandwiches were a very welcome change-of-pace after the disaster that was Hangry Joe's.


Judges Scores:

Auntie Cynthula: 9.5

DYM: 9

(minus .5 for not being a "traditional" chicken sandwich)


TONY BOY'S SANDWICH SCORE: 8.75

 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!

HAMBURGLARS vs. BLANK SPACE

A record-setting Special Ed team is on UPSET ALERT in week 7!!!!!!!


Just two weeks ago The Hamburglars had the highest scoring game in Special Ed history, putting up 213.66 against Team DYM. But now, thanks to a confluence of injuries and byes, only THREE of the eight players on that juggernaut team will play in week 7 against Blank Space - and it's not the good ones. Gabe Davis has no hands, and he's already had his one good game for the month. D'Andre Swift is good, but he's gonna score exactly 14 points every game, no more no less. The best matchup for this squad, on paper, is Hurts vs Miami. But Miami's points-against-QB numbers are not what they seem -- Josh Allen blew them out and no other QB has really done shit against them. Also, we don't think Deebo plays, so we're looking forward to Kull picking up Rondale Moore on Sunday morning.


It's a big opportunity for Team Pfizer. They've scored 120 on average the last two weeks but lost them both and now sit at 1-5. They need to start stringing some wins together, and we think that starts this week. We feel like the bye weeks will just make the choices simpler for Dave, and may even be addition-by-subtraction. He's left a lot of points on the bench, mostly due to a few dud weeks from Tee Higgins and Derrick Henry - who are both on bye this week. This team has missed out on the biggest games from Pickens, Amari, and Jakobi Meyers, so we like that he's being forced to start them all. There's no superstars on either of these teams, but Dave's squad is solid and we think Sam Howell has a big one against the Giants.

It's go time for this squad.


PREDICTION:

HAMBURGLARS: 119.52

BLANK SPACE: 131.39


BLANK SPACE WINS!!!!!!!


 


SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!

I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA vs. LETS GO GOLFING!!!🏌️‍♂️

It's wild that Josh Jacobs didn't get busted for PEDs this past off-season. 2022 Josh Jacobs was the most juiced person since Sammy Sosa. He was clocking a steady 85-100 yards per game for three years, then outta nowhere he breaks off 2,053 last year (120 per game) -- And now he's right back to that 85 per game again.

Yea. OK, Josh.

LETS GO GOLFING!!!🏌️‍♂️ WINS!!!!!!!


 

TOBIN & THE RIPPERS vs. 🧨 I-R-f00tbols!!! 🏈🤕

We finished Sunshine. Do not recommend. We have no idea what that movie was even about, it was very confusing visually.

But, yo, check this out - They got both Nicolas Cage Ghost Rider movies on YouTube Free!!!! That's awesome. Those flicks sucked bad! We remember hearing there was gonna be a third one, but Nic Cage quit cause they were so terrible.

Cage recently said he'd be down for Face/Off 2, and Con-Air 2 might be happening, so we gotta assume Ghost Rider is gonna be much worse than those.


LETS GOOO!!!!!


TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!


 

DUMB BUT PRETTY vs. ERIN ERTZ

It's looking like a pretty light week around the NFL. Lotta byes, lotta injuries, and a lotta weird matchups (like Raiders-Bears, that shit might be a 0-0 tie). There's only two good games with OUs above 46: Miami/Philly and Clippers/Chiefs. Somehow Rob has a double-game stack with 5 players in those two games. Kinda unfair.


ERIN ERTZ WINS!!!!!!!


 

I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING vs. PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM

Andy got a big Kamara game last night, and he's gonna need it cause Eli Moore, Jaleel O'Laughlin, and Davante Adams all might be DOA this week. We don't like how this team starts both Lockett and DK but at least its against Arizona this week.

Paul doesn't have great matchups this week (but who does?), but we don't think they have any duds either. So we're gonna keep riding Team Puka.


PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM WINS!!!!!!!

 

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!


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AHSOKA FINALE RECAP!!!!!

Ahsoka is the Justin Fields of Star Wars. The first few weeks of the season are so fucking bad they'll make you question all your life choices cause you can't believe you ever thought it would be good in the first place. Then, right when you're about to stop watching the motherfucker, they put up four touchdowns against Washington on a Thursday night.


The last episode of Ahsoka was AWESOME. They packed all the weirdest aliens, all the coolest magic, and all of Ahsoka's sexiest tank tops in to this finale.

Unfortunately our girl Hera wasn't in it until the last scene - but of course she did walk away from the camera in that scene and her ass looked amazing.


Our heroes spent most of this episode fighting against a witch and a bunch of zombie stormtroopers. The zombie troopers were cool. A platoon of regular stormtroopers usually aren't much of an obstacle for a Jedi, but the zombie troopers don't go down when you stab em and the Jedis can't cut all of their heads off cause it's PG-13.


The witches - called the Nightsisters - first appeared in The Clone Wars cartoon show, and they are among the very weirdest motherfuckers in all of Star Wars. They have all the same basic force powers that Jedi and Sith do but they also have a lot of freakier magic powers too - like bringing people back from the dead (zombie troopers) and making swords out of literally nothing. We lost it when they made the Sword of Talzin. So cool. It's way better than a lightsaber, as this episode clearly demonstrated: Lightsabers are made out of rocks by children and robots, and The Sword of Talzin is made out of magical aether by freaky-ass witches.

We think it's important to note that although Ahsoka defeated the witch, she lost one of her lightsabers in the process and had to use the Sword of Talzin to take the witch out.


The season ends with Ezra hitching a ride back to the regular galaxy on Thrawn's ship, leaving Ahsoka and Sabine alone together in the weird other galaxy. Ahsoka and Sabine are 1000% gonna hook up out there. No doubt. The only question is if they can get sexy ass Shin Hati to ditch the zombies and join their party.

The ending sets up perfectly for a remake of the classic SW Legends novel Heir to the Empire. It's mostly about Thrawn being sneaky and having red eyes. Luke Skywalker runs a Jedi montessori school - just like the one Ahsoka took Baby Yoda to. There's no witches in the book, but Trawn does get an undead zombie Jedi on his team, so there's that that.


So a lotta people are gonna be talking about whether they should recast Luke or keep doing that CGI thing that makes him look extra gay. We're not sure if we care that much either way to be honest. CGI Luke is bad, but the original Luke was kind of a doofus anyway. As long as there's sassy robots and lesbian aliens, we're in.


 

FOOD BEEF 2023: CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!!!!

Marie's Chicken Joint


We had a schedule change cause Sterling Tavern was closed today for a "private event", so we went to Marie's Chicken Joint and we'll move Stirling back to week 7.


Marie's is pretty good. They were on an episode of Triple D several years ago, and Guy Fieri has never given a restaurant a bad review. We hadn't been there in a while so we were happy to see they had added "Southern Fried Chicken Sandwiches" to the menu this year.

They have four chicken sandwich offerings which are all actually the same thing but with different sauces - Original, Nashville hot (Buffalo sauce), Kansas City BBQ, and Carolina BBQ. We got the original and the wife got the Nashville. Both were very good.


The meat was tender and delicious, and both of the sauces were plenty tasty. And they have TATER TOTS!!! Fucking love tater tots, you guys.

The only real problem is that the chicken is pounded thin so it feels kinda wimpy in your hand and we ate it real fast.


MARIE'S CHICKEN SANDWICH SCORE: 8.5

 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!

I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA vs 🧨 I-R-F00TBOLS!!! 🏈🤕

We have a couple general rules when it comes to writing about Special Ed matchups. (1) We generally won't ever put a team in AGoTW two weeks in a row, and (2) we generally never write about Doug's team at all because they're a disgrace - again.

But we're breaking both those rules this week because that Thursday night game was weird as hell for fantasy. There were 60 real life points in that game and only two players scored more than 10 fantasy points in Special Ed - and they're playing against each other. DJ Moore and Justin Fields each scored more points last night than they had in weeks 1-3 combined. And there's a few more choice matchups on the slate for Chicago - they have Vikings, Raiders, and Clippers the next three weeks. So it's still possible for Doug and/or Luca to put together a little run here -- but of course one of them will be 0-5 after this week anyway, so...


Luca's team probably shouldn't be 0-4, but they've played some terrible fantasy defense.

They're sixth in points scored, but first in points against by A LOT. They've allowed 660 fantasy points in 4 weeks. That's crazy. Team DYM is the second most scored-on team and we've allowed 546 points.

Their stream-against-Arizona plan hit a speed bump this week with the Cardinals facing the eminently unstartable Joe Burrow.

They have Purdy in the lineup right now but he's got a very tough matchup against the Cowboys. If we were them we'd pick up Zack Wilson. Denver is horrible, everybody kills Denver. We're gonna start Zack over Trevor Lawrence (vs Buffalo) in the Class of '99 league. Of course Josh Dobbs himself is a hilarious and sneaky-serviceable option this week too. Dobbs scored 22 points in two of the last three games, which is more than Purdy has had in any game in his NFL career. And he's good for about 30-40 rushing yards a week which is not bad. The good thing about Purdy tho is he never throws picks and he's never scored less than 10 fantasy points in a start. But we think Luca's gotta swing for the fences this week to avoid a fifth straight loss.


Doug's team is absolutely moribund. They've scored just 311 points in four weeks, that's 130 points less than the second lowest scoring team (Team DYM). We're not sure we could reliably score less than 80 a week if we tried. Somehow Doug is setting his lineup every week, and every week he comes up with garbage. It's just incredible.

But of course this is the week they've been waiting for -- It looks like Johnathan Taylor and Kooper Cupp are both gonna play this week, so they can finally bench Jackson Smith-Njigba and Josh Reynolds. They still have a TE in the lineup which is not ideal, but we're very confident that Doug's gonna turn this thing around and post their first 85+point game of the year.


PREDICTION:

I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA - 135.32

🧨 I-R-F00TBOLS!!! 🏈🤕 - 111.77


I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA WINS!!!!!

 

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!


TOBIN & THE RIPPERS vs. PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM

Paul had one of the biggest weeks in Special Ed history with 193.4 last week. But they're on pace for about half that this week. They've got two stinkers in the books already with Brian Robinson and Kahlil Herbert scoring 13.9 combined on Thursday, and three guys in the London game Sunday morning.


Tobin is looking to bounce-back from a horrible week four where only two of their guys scored more than 10. They have some much better matchups this week with Waddle and Mostert at home vs the Giants. We're not sure why they're benching Mark Andrews tho.


TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!



LETS GO GOLFING!!!🏌️‍♂️ vs. HAMBURGLARS

We tried to watch the new Loki but it was tough. We think we liked season one - We definitely liked the alligator Loki, and the girl Loki. That was cool. But a lotta shit musta happened at the end of the last season that we didn't really pay attention to cause we had NO CLUE what was going on in this new episode.

They just jumped right into an action sequence right at the start, followed by a couple scenes of people yelling at each other about time travel. It's too much, honestly.

It's like, Ahsoka had five whole episodes of exposition, and this show had literally zero. We're not tryina Goldilocks this shit but there's gotta be something in between. Disney+ is schizophrenic right now


LETS GO GOLFING!!!🏌️‍♂️ WINS!!!!!



DUMB BUT PRETTY vs. I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING

Andy's in a tough spot. Davante Adams hasn't practiced all week and the Raiders play the Packers on Monday night, so he's just gotta wait it out. If Adams doesn't play (and Stanley has a lead heading into Monday), then they're gonna have to dumpster dive for Musgrave or Dontayvion Wicks. That would be amazing actually.

IAWTGG also has a QB on bye so they picked up Dak. He might wanna consider Dobbs or Zack Wilson too. Denver sucks bad.


I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING WINS!!!!!



BLANK SPACE vs. ERIN ERTZ

Dave's team had their best week on the year so far thanks to a much needed team name change. It's a pretty good name too. Nuanced.

A lot of people are saying there's been too much Taylor Swift in their NFL product the last couple weeks. Some are even calling the Travlor phenomenon a "marketing stunt" and concocting wild conspiracy theories.

Not us, of course.

The fact is - Taylor Swift is very easy on the eyes. We're not huge fans of her music but if she wants to just be on our TV screen and not sing or talk, that's just fine with us. No complaints here.


BLANK SPACE WINS!!!!!

 

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!





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