Sep 26

DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2024 WEEK 4!!!!

WHATS UP SPECIAL ED?!?!?

Defend Your Moves is back for the 2024 season!!! This is our first post in almost ten months, which is crazy.

We're not here to make excuses tho, and we’re not gonna apologize for zoning out last year and taking the whole offseason off cause we don’t owe y'all shit. We're just gonna keep it movin cause there's a lotta new Batman content coming out right now and the people are hungry for food beef!!!

DYM is BACK!!! LETS GOOOO!!!!!!!

RESPEC YO RUSSELLS!!!

We talked to a guy on Sunday who was hyped for the Chargers when they were beating Pittsburgh in the first half. We were like "Oh, you got the Chargers too? We love them getting 2.5." The guy says "No. I'm only a Russell Wilson fan. So I hate the Steelers right now." HA!!!!! We did not question this guy any further. Just gotta respec that level of respec.

Our guy D'Angelo Russell has a YouTube golf show, which is the new hotness right now.

As you all know, we spent most of our free time this past year golfing, and rounds of golf take fucking FOREVER, so there just wasn't a lot time to blog.

Looking back, we're a little disappointed in ourselves for not pivoting to YouTube a golf show earlier cause the YouTube golf marketplace is already pretty well saturated. A few years ago the cool thing was pro athletes with podcasts, but now nobody listens to podcasts and those guys are all playing golf on YouTube.

Even legitimate entertainment professionals like DJ Khaled are rebranding. Khaled still hasn't released the album that was "almost done" back when he started spending all his time golfing on the internet over a year ago.

Shit, even professional GOLFERS have YouTube golf shows now!!! We're fuckin up you guys.

DYM GOLF coming soon!!!

WOK WOK!!!!!

The new Penguin show on HBO just came out and it's pretty good. The show takes place right after the events of The Batman movie, and follows the Penguin aka "Oswald Cobb" an he navigates Gotham's mafia bureaucracy. Much like how Andor wasn't really a Star War, The Penguin doesn't really feel like a Batman show, and not just because Batman's not in it. But the good news is - it does feel like an HBO show. It's more up-beat than The Batman, with more comedy and lots of cuss words and stray titties. It's pretty much The Sopranos but with less lunch meats.

We think this might be the first Batman show ever with cuss words and titties in it. There were probably some cuss words in Joker, but we're pretty sure there weren't any tits. We're gonna have to rewatch that one soon anyway before Joker 2 comes out so we'll let yall know.

The other great thing about The Penguin is they're just giving us one episode a week so we'll have something to blog about for the rest of the season! Episode 1 was a romp. Penguin murdered some people, fucked with some drugs, and we got to see him naked (gross) -- pretty standard HBO fare. We're hyped for this show cause the first episode not only had casual sex and drugs but also set the stage for a season that will center around the Gotham drug trade and promises to continue to feature hookers throughout. We also liked that the kid that Penguin befriended was not at all precocious, its important to have stupid kids on shows like this that are trying to seem "realistic".

Over on Amazon Prime Video there's another new Batman joint that just came out called Batman Caped Crusader. We like how they dropped all the the-s in this title, it's cleaner. Over all the show is very solid. It brings back that 1940's aesthetic we loved from Batman The Animated Series, and it's TV-14 so it's a bit more mature than some other recent Batman cartoons. Definitely a good option to flip to at halftime of a Thursday Night stinker.

The first episode features another new Penguin with a new name - "Oswalda Cobblepot" - that's right, the Penguin is a chick!!! She opens up the show with a little Jessica Rabbit style song-and-dance number, where she shakes her tits in all the thirsty cops faces, and they fuckin love it. We're thinking she probably could get it. She's a butter face obviously, but she's got a sexy swagger and crazy big tits. It'd be hard to imagine turning her down.

FOOD BEEF 2024!!!!!

BARBECUE!!!!!!!

ONCE AGAIN IT IS LUNCHTIME IN AMERICA!!! And the people are hungry for BBQ!!!!!

To our knowledge there never was a real-deal BBQ joint in the Summit-metro area when we were growing up. Recently we've heard rumors about some new spots that are pretty legit, but the only way to know for sure is with a Food Beef Tour. A couple of the ones we heard about are in Morristown or on Route 22 ,which is easy, but there still aren't enough local BBQ places within our unusual 10-minute radius. In order to get enough contestants we had to extend our search radius to include most of the old Iron Hills Conference - spanning Morris, Union and Essex Counties.

We managed to find eight spots that look pretty good, which will take us up to week 10, then we should be able to wrap up the Food Beef Playoffs before the Special Ed Playoffs as usual. Here's the breakdown: week 3 Red White & Que Smokehouse, Greenbrook ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5

week 4 Mr. Perry's Smokehouse, Morristown⭐⭐⭐.5

week 5 Minuteman Smokehouse & Grill, Morristown⭐⭐⭐⭐

week 6 Fire Roasted Chicken & Grill, Cedar Knolls⭐⭐⭐⭐

week 7 Stage House Tavern, Scotch Plains⭐⭐⭐.5

week 8 Mama's Southern Style BBQ, Vauxhall⭐⭐⭐.5

week 9 Famous Dave's Bar-B-Que, Moutainside⭐⭐⭐

week 10 Gary & Meg's Chicken & Ribs, Wayne⭐⭐⭐⭐

THIS WEEK:

Red White & Que Smokehouse - Greenbrook, NJ

Red White & Que is out on Rt. 22 by the Asian grocery store. It’s been there for a while and we were curious, but never tried it before.

Last Saturday we swung the sticks with 2021 Champion SUPER BOWL RIPPER and then hit up Red White and Que for takeout. Upon closer inspection this place seemed pretty legit - it’s a really small building with a few picnic tables outside, and the inside is all full of smokers and it smells amazing. They really flaunt their meats too - they just hang all their meat in your face right when you walk in there.

On Saturday the place was packed - line out the door - so it took for fuckin ever to get our food. Then we still had to haul it back to the DYM HQ so we were STARVING by the time we got down to it.

We got brisket, ribs, and pulled pork with mac with cheese and potato salad.

Everything went down real smooth but the flavors were very underwhelming.

Just OK.

The pulled pork was a little overcooked. The brisket and ribs had a lotta bark, but just didn’t bring anything flavor-wise besides pepper.

They didn’t have any cornbread on the menu, which we're not gonna deduct points for necessarily, but it’s not a great look.

Red White & Que is legit but they don’t do themselves any favors and the meat isn’t really good enough to have to wait an hour for. We hope they don’t make the playoffs.

JUDGES SCORES:

DYM - 7.5

Cynth - 7.5

Andy - 7.5

BBQ SCORE: 7.5

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!

Super Bowl Ripper vs. Paul's Phenomenal Team

The two highest scoring teams in the league through three weeks face off. Paul has a solid team where every starter is averaging at least 10pts per game but Super Bowl Ripper has Josh Allen who might be the only fantasy player that matters this year.

SUPER BOWL RIPPER WINS!!!!

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS

PUNCH IT OR LUNCH IT!!!!! vs. The Hamburglars

PUNCH IT OR LUNCH IT!!!!! will probably bench Anthony Richardson for Sam Darnold this week. That's sad but the only guy we need is Alvin Kamara. Karama's questionable as of Wednesday night but if Kamara plays then...

PUNCH IT OR LUNCH IT WINS!!!!