top of page
dym banner 2024 breakin.png


Happy Halloween, Special Ed!!!!!!!!


The big thing that happened this week was Elon Musk finally bought Twitter, so you're allowed to just say anything on there now without consequence, apparently. We could see how that might become a problem in the medium-to-long-term but as long as ESPN's Mike Clay is on the platform there's still gonna be plenty of accurate and actionable information mixed in with the various hate-speeches.

UNDISPUTED!!!!!!!! We could not have made a better ranking ourselves. Off the top of our heads we probably woulda put Snickers in the top 5 but we completely forgot about twizzler nibs. For some reason they are 10x better than regular shaped twizzlers which is already a very not bad candy.


Our favorite thing on twitter this year is Big Cat's weekly NFL power rankings. Barstool Big Cat has been a first tier twitter user for a long time now. We're gonna miss him.


In this week's rankings our guy Russell Wilson was quite disrespec'fully entered dead last, behind the rest of the Booty Cheek Broncos and behind three other Russells.


Russells worldwide are ice cold right now. Westbrook's coming off the bench now and putting together his own episode of shaqtin a fool. Russell Brand is getting smoked by Kanye and Kyrie in the crackpot-conspiracy-theorist-influencer rankings. Russell Crowe was probably the #1 Russell for a while this summer after he convinced Taika Waititi to let him do a Greek accent in the Thor movie - which was HILARIOUS - but Westbrook's blooper reels are actually way funnier right now.


Also this week on twitter, we found out that the guy who tried to kill Nancy Pelosi the other day has a wix blog that looks just like ours except it's mostly racist memes and holocaust denial. And he wrote a scathing review of The Last Jedi like two days ago.

That hit kinda close to home. Really made us take a step back, ya know, reassess.

Like, why are we even doing this? A couple weeks ago we laid out the history of DYM, and big picture it really does seem like a downward spiral. Is this where we're headed?


We got a lot to think about, but Corey Booker's husband better sleep with one eye open.

 

WHO'S HOT?!?!?!?!

What's going on with Fingerbang?!

They started out 3-1 and have lost three straight since. They haven't scored over 100 since week 4. We know they're not entirely asleep at the wheel because they did make a move this week (Allen Robinson - league winner), but it was only their third move all year and they're still sitting on 2 defenses and 2 QBs. TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES, FB!!!


Sharon Ertz has made an incredible comeback over the last four weeks. They have now won four straight games since trading away the #1 QB and losing Javonte Williams. Somehow, Dameon Pierce and Rhamondre Stevenson were both top 5 RBs over the last four weeks. It's a cinderella story!!!!!!!!

 

FOOD BEEF: EMPANADAS

Pan Casero 🇪🇨 Morristown, NJ

These are really good empanadas. The fillings were very simple ingredient-wise (just ground beef and shredded chicken, no veg) but they make up for it with SPICE. These bad boys are packed with flavor.

The pastry is not too thick and just as crispy as you like, and the meats were soft and juicy - a flawless texture. We're pushing these guys straight through to the playoffs.


We were pretty hungry the other day so we also ordered the "Super Burger" which is a burger with LTO, a fried egg, and queso fresco. It was excellent! Not the very best burger in town but coulda been in the running for sure.


EMPANADA SCORE: 9.5 (+.5 for El Super Burger)

 

MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!

Christian McCaffrey 🕵️‍♂️🕵🏻‍♂️ u60.5 rushing

Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 9-2


 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!

HAMBURGLARS vs SHARON ERTZ!!!!!!!!

AGOTW Prediction Record 3-3

FIRST PLACE IS ON THE LINE IN WEEK EIGHT!!!!!!!!


Coincidentally, all four of the over .500 teams are playing each other this week. So theres a chance that one of these two teams could take over sole possession of first place. They are both on four game winning streaks, but Sharon Ertz is waaay hotter. Over the last four games Sharon put up an and incredible 132 points per game and defeated the other two over .500 teams (BIOH & Fisto). Over the last two weeks, Joe Burrow was the #1 QB and Jefferson was the #1 WR overall. This is the undisputed hottest team in Special Ed.


Th Hamburglars are Mama Bear's porridge. Not too hot not too cold. They only had one really good game (127 pts in week 4) aside from that they just score between 100 and 115 ever week. That's OK. We guess if you're a little lucky that could get you to 5-2.

They're starting 4 WRs this week and they're all OK, none are superstars. Aiyuk, Higgins, Waddle, and Davis all came into this season as the WR2 on their respective teams. Brady played on Thursday and got them 15, putting them on pace for another OK week. This squad is perfectly mediocre.


Prediction:

SHARON ERTZ: 135.43

HAMBURGLARS: 112.01

 

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!

Fingerbang! vs Polk High Panthers

The Booty Cheek Broncos are playing the Jaguars in London right now. We're told it's on ESPN+ and we're not sure if we have that. Honestly we don't care to check cause Broncos/Jags might be the least watchable game of year so far. We're watching Spooky Buddies on Disney+ right now instead.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!


POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!!!!!!!


DEFEND YOUR MOVES🐈‍⬛ vs miracle whip 🫙

Doug has J. Meyers and J. Myers in the lineup this week.

That's weird!!!


DYM WINS!!!!!!!!

Bring It On Home vs Fisto kidds!!

Bring It On are pretty heavy favorites even with Kirk Cousins starting (🤢). The good news for BIOH is both their questionable WRs are gonna play; the bad news is Miss Cleo is FADING our guy McCaffrey!!!!!!!! He's gonna get bottled up this week - with Deebo out it'll behoove the Rams to put extra defenders on CMac. Gotta try to force Jimmy G to pass today you'd think.

We're still gonna be detectives tomorrow tho 🕵️‍♂️🕵🏻‍♂️.


FISTO KIDDS WINS!!!!!!!!

Paul’s Awesome Team vs Tobin & The Rippers

We made a very low-octane trade this week with the Rippers. It's kinda amazing when a trade goes down in this league and there's just fuckin crickets on the text chain. Nobody cares about the Panthers right now. It'll make a difference for Tobin cause he might not have any other options at WR, but once DK and Mike Williams come back DJ Moore won't start for this team.

The two highest over/under lines this week are Saints/Raiders and Vikings/Cardinals at 48.5. That's kinda weird to us in a vacuum since none of those four seem like they're actually good right now. It's great news for The Rippers cause they have four guys from those two contests (Murray, Olave, Kamara, and Cook). But still we think we're gonna bet a lotta unders today.


TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!

 

HAVE A GREAT HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!


30 views

What's up Special Ed?!?!?!?


Next week our guy John Fetterman is finally gonna bring his big Pittsburgh vibe to the debate stage against TV's Dr. Oz. This race has been morbidly fascinating to us for a long time now. Even in this post-Trump political era we were still genuinely surprised to see these two win their respective primaries. THEY'RE BOTH NUTS!!!!!

Usually when one party nominates an amateur/psychopath for national office the other party will roll out their most inoffensive career politician - pitting "the establishment" against a "radical" outsider. In that way the races in Ohio and Georgia are much more traditionally compelling (with psycho/amateurs JD Vance & Herschel Walker vs. incumbent congressman Tim Ryan & Raphael Warnock). But this Pennsylvania race is an unprecedented disaster:

We got a fucking fake TV doctor and a guy who dresses like the Wu-Tang Clan before they were rich.


For the most part we tend to support inexperienced leftist idealogues - we need some fresh liberal voices on the national stage. But something about Fetterman kinda rubs us the wrong way.


A lotta people are getting turned on to Fetterman's white-collar background these days: He used to be an insurance underwriter for Chubb (his dad owns an insurance company); he has two masters degrees ($$) one from Harvard ($$$$).


But if you can't compartmentalize that then you gotta just stop voting for Senators.


Plus, DYM was way ahead of that narrative. We knew Fetterman was secretly rich as soon as we saw those Carhartt sweatshirts.

That's a fucking $70 sweatshirt you guys. This motherfucker isn't gonna be relatable to us unless he's rocking some fuckin Champion, some Russell Athletic, some fuckin AMAZON BASICS!!!!! Bernie's suits look cheaper than Fetterman's sweats.


Fetterman's sartorial choices caught our eye early on because we happen to know a guy from high school who dresses like that - expensive sweatshirts, shorts all through the winter - and he's NUTS!!! This is the guy we told y'all about who had a traumatic brain injury then got red-pilled and turned into one of the most prolific MAGA facebookers. His dad owns an insurance company too, for what it's worth.


Of course, Fetterman's brain problems are front-and-center right now cause he had a stroke in May. But it's important to remember that those pics of him wearing shorts in the winter were BEFORE the stroke.


The thing a lotta people DON'T know about Fetterman is he played Offensive Tackle at Albright College (D-III).

DYM Scholars are always on the lookout for politicians who played College Football (especially lineman and tight ends) since we told y'all a few years ago that brain injuries are known to impair the social judgments and beliefs of players later in life. That study showed brain injury victims had difficulty identifying and mitigating "radical" political opinions, and were unwittingly attracted to more radical positions.

That's super interesting considering Fetterman grew up in a rich white community with parents he called "conservative Republicans", and now represents the most radically left-leaning policies of any 2022 senate candidate. It's ALSO super interesting considering Fetterman had a stroke a few months ago and this new study found that even minor TBIs result in an increased risk of stroke later in life.


That being said, we still like scrambled eggs Fetterman way better than Dr. Oz, cause at least he didn't murder a bunch of dogs!!!


 

DYM PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:

McDONALDS BOO BUCKETS ARE BACK!!!!!!!

Right now at McDonalds you can get a Happy Meal served in an old school 80's style halloween bucket!!!!!!! We used to love these buckets when we were kids. They make great beach toys in the summer time too!!! GET YOURS NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!!!!!

 

WHO'S HOT?!?!?!?

At week 7 we are over a third of the way through the season. We have all endured the proverbial road-of-trials and we've likely learned something about our teams that we may not have known before the draft.

From here on our pre-draft analyses will fade into memory. Ever-changing opportunities, usage, and matchups will become far more important than prior talent evaluation.


Every week it will matter less and less who is "good", and matter more and more who is "HOT". That's why we use a DYM proprietary algorithm to calculate the exact “Heat Index” of every Special Ed team. The calculation is deviously simple: We just divide your last three weeks’ average score by your season average and boom, that’s your HEAT INDEX.


The Heat Index is the most predictive measure for fantasy success in the industry today. Who's Hot?! Rankings have correctly predicted the winner of 6 of the last 7 Special Ed Superbowls.


So without further to do -- let's find out WHO'S HOT?!?

Last week Tobin defeated DYM in a classic tortoise vs hare scenario:

DYM🧊 came flying out the gates with three straight 130+ scores in weeks 1-3 (and we still have the 2nd highest season average). But we completely ran out of gas after the Miami trip. Since then we've just been awful - two sub 90 scores and even those teams had precious few points available on the bench.


Tobin🌶 on the other hand started slow - they didn't score over 105 until week 4 - and they haven't gone over 120 yet. But we think they're on their way to some big BIG scores. They've steadily improved over the last month scoring 112% over their yearly average, which proved enough to overcome the ice cold DYM in week 6.


Bring It On Home🏜 in 2nd on the Heat Index is very scary. They were already the highest scoring team in week one, and have gotten even BETTER since. Plus now they got a way better offensive line for McCaffrey. They might be unstoppable.

 

MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!

TREVOR LAWRENCE o229.5

Miss Cleo's Prediction Record: 7-2


 

FOOD BEEF: EMPANADAS!!!!!!!

Mexican Spice 🇲🇽 (Chatham, NJ)


Mexican Spice is known for their tacos but they're like the third best taco place in town. So it's somewhat unsurprising that they ran into a similar problem as we found with Maria's last week: taco-flavored-empanadas. This time we can confirm that the beef empanadas do in fact have the exact same fillings as the beef empanadas.

To their credit, the ingredients and flavor profile here was actually closer to what we would want from an empanada than from a taco (potatoes, peas etc), but we were still pretty disappointed with their lack of imagination. And as you can see in the first photo above, the shells were hard, overcooked, barely stuck together. The ends were thick and crusty like a flavorless fortune cookie.

Empanada Score: 7

 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!

HAMBURGLARS vs POLK HIGH PANTHERS

ITS A FANTASY REVENGE GAME IN WEEK 7!!!!!!!


Sure, Tom Brady hasn't been that good for the last couple weeks but this week he's gonna go crazy. Nobody holds a grudge like Tom Brady. So when The Hamburglars picked him up a few weeks ago we know he circled this week on his calendar. PHP have flatly disrespected the GOAT twice this season - first by keeping Brandin Cooks over him and then by dropping him after week 2. We think Brady takes out the last few weeks of pent up frustration on the Carolina and Polk High Panthers.


PHP are the only team in this league averaging less than 100 points per game on the season and still averaging under 100 over the last three games. They are 1-5 and have had the lowest score in the league 3 of the last 6 weeks.

Yahoo! is projecting 105 for this squad which would be their highest score since week 1. AND IT'S NOT OUT OF THE QUESTION!!!

Right now they're on a one-game-winning streak and they're undefeated in the Geno Era.

For this week they get Keenan Allen back, an all-time smash matchup for Kelce, and Godwin is coming off his best game of the season.


We think PHP has enough juice to break 100 this week, and keep moving up the WHOS HOT?! charts. But we don't think it'll be quite enough to take down the Burglars.


PREDICTION:

Polk High Panthers - 105.01

Hamburglars - 118.52


 

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!

BRING IT ON HOME vs. TOBIN & THE RIPPERS

Ya gotta love this McCaffrey trade for the Niners. Everybody's been saying the 49ers are just an RB away from a championship... smgdh.

We're a little bit salty cause we had hoped C-Mac would end up on the Bills. On the other hand we're OK with not giving up 4 draft picks for him after we already drafted Cook this year. Whatever. RBs Dont Matter.


Bring It On Home Wins!!!!!!!


FISTO KIDDS vs. BIG PITT ENERGY👷‍♂️

Here's another Fetterman Fun Fact:

He went to Harvard's Kennedy School of Government in the early 2000's. His classmates there included future Presidents and Prime Ministers of six countries (Somalia, Mexico, Mongolia, Bhutan, Zimbabwe, Tanzania).

Kinda interesting considering the US is engaged in a war in Somalia as we speak.


PITTSBURGH VIBE👷‍♂️ WINS!!!!!!!


SHARON ERTZ vs. MIRACLE WHIP🫙

It just so happens Dr. Oz went to Harvard too, and he was their starting safety.

True Story.

MIRACLE WHIP🫙 WINS!!!!!!!


PAULS AWESOME TEAM vs. FINGERBANG!

Paul is screwed for the second straight week cause he benched his Thursday running back AGAIN!!! If we said it once, we said it a thousand times - Always start your Thursday guys, Thursdays RULE!!!!!


FINGERBANG! WINS!!!!!!!

 


HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!



37 views

DUMPSTER DIVER OF THE WEEK:

Polk High Panthers!!!!!!

Pickup of the Week: GENO SMITH!!!!!!


This week the season OFFICIALLY began cause we've got QB STREAMERS in the Special Ed League!!!!!! Hamburglars have been swimming upstream for a few weeks but Trey Lance was the last starting QB drafted this year, so he was prepared for this eventuality. Right now we're hyped 'cause there's no team we'd rather see drop their QBs than the one that considered keeping Brady, then drafted him at sub-keeper value, AND drafted Matt Stafford.

We've been saying for years that if you have 2 QBs you don't have a QB - and the team that drafts two QBs is the team that drops two QBs. (Sharon Ertz also non-auto-drafted two QBs. He's already traded one and we can't imagine he's gonna ride through the bye weeks with Trevor Lawrence on the bench.)


There's no shame in streaming of course. Most of this league should be streaming!!! In this 10-team-league there's ALWAYS quarterbacks to be had. And this year there's only like 4 good fantasy QBs in the whole league. Geno is #5 on paper. So there's AT LEAST five other teams that shoulda been trying to pickup Geno this week.


Pauls Awesome Team missed their shot at Geno, they shoulda cut Russell Wilson last week. We think they pull the trigger this week tho. Russ is the #16 QB and he's scoring 7 points per game less than Geno. The next best available QB by points-per-game is Wentz, but he's playing Thursday so he's out.

The true best available streamer of the week is DANNY DIMES!!!!! Baltimore D is, in our opinion, the very best matchup for fantasy QBs this season. They don't pressure much and they lead the league in passing yards allowed at 305 per game. Even Mac Jones threw over 300 against them, and that was maybe Baltimore's best defensive game (3 INT's 0 TDs).

 

FOOD BEEF: EMPANADAS!!!!!!

Anita's Baked Wonders 🇦🇷 (Summit, NJ)

Anita and her husband are from Argentina. They make these empanadas at their home in Florham Park and sell 'em at farmers markets and delis throughout the Summit-metro area.

We were VERY amped for these cause, as you can see from the pic above, every one of Anita's empanadas are hand wrapped with a loving, delicate touch. Each is a work of pastry-art. Just beautiful.


Unfortuantely, they did not taste nearly as good as they looked.

They all had a Tex-Mex sort of flavor profile that we found unpleasantly surprising. The beef ones tasted like beef tacos; the chicken tasted like chicken fajitas; and the ham-and-cheese had cheddar(?) not swiss like a proper Cubano.


Anita's is far from a lock for the Empanada Playoffs.


Empanada Score: 8

 

MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!

DeVonta Smith u53.5 😰

Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 6-2

 

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!

SHARON ERTZ vs FISTO KIDDS!!!!!!

AGOTW Prediction Record: 2-2

Sharon Ertz is back for the second week in a row!!!!!!


We needed a win to get our Game of The Week Prediction Record back up to .500 and Sharon came through for us late Sunday Night with a .5 point win over The Rippers.

The new-look Ertz squad is now over over .500 too, and things are looking up - Last week's running back injuries turned Rhamondre and Ken Walker into legit starters. So even after losing Javonte this team got real strong at RB all over again. We loved the idea of trading one of those new-found RB1s for a starting WR, but unfortunately the trade will go down as another loss for Sharon since DeVonta is now fated to have less than 53.5 rec yards this week (CALL ME NOW!!!). Regardless, a "Smith" is a welcome addition to this formerly all-polysyllabic receiver corps ("Jefferson and McLaurin" is a real mouthful!).


On the other side we've got The Fantasy Gods' Favorites - the luckiest team in Special Ed - Fisto Kidds!! The FKs are only the third highest scoring team but sit in 1st place at 4-1 thanks to some incredible fantasy defense. So far this year, FK are the only Special Ed team holding their opponents to less than 100 points per game (96.14 average points against).


Both these teams started Thursday night dudes for some reason and FK came out with a 2 point lead. The rest of the matchup seems to favor the FKs as well: They have the superior Eagle WR, Cleo's pick for NFL passing yards leader, and the super-smooth Amari Cooper/Cooper Kupp combo. By the way, we wouldn't be mad if they changed their name to Hangin with Mr Coopers.


Prediction:

Sharon Ertz: 96.14

Hangin with Mr Coopers: 113.78

 

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!

BRING IT ON HOME vs PAULS AWESOME TEAM

PAT still has moves to make this week. Gonna need a kicker, probly a QB too. It won't matter tho cause PAT is cursed this week for benching America's Favorite RB Brian Robinson in prime time.


BRING IT ON HOME WINS!!!!!!

HAMBURGLARS vs FINGERBANG!

These guys should trade Jalen Warren for Aaron Rodgers.

Seems like a win-win to us.


FINGERBANG! WINS!!!!!!


DEFEND YOUR MOVES vs TOBIN & THE RIPPERS

Kudos to The Rippers for dropping Allen Robinson. But we don't really get why they picked up Rondale Moore. They're probably not gonna start Rondale this week and they know he's gonna get bumped down the depth chart next week when Hopkins comes back. What they should've done is picked up Geno for a spot start since they know Kyler is gonna keep playing like shit until next week --- when Hopkins comes back.


DEFEND YOUR MOVES WINS!!!!!!


POLK HIGH PANTHERS vs MIRACLE WHIP🫙

Oh man, you guys. It looks like MW might start Taysom Hill. That's a fuckin ballsy move that we 100% endorse. They're playing with house money right now anyway since PHP started a dud Thursday WR.


MIRACLE WHIP WINS!!!!!!


 

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!



39 views
bottom of page