What’s up, Special Ed?
We’re getting deep into Star Wars shit right now in anticipation of the release of The Rise of Skywalker later this year.
We have not yet seen a Star Wars movie we didn’t like. So, it’s a stone cold LOCK that Episode IX will be amazing too. But after that, well... we’re not so sure. Episode IX is the end of The Skywalker Saga, and therefore the last Star Wars movie that matters. So where do they go from here? Who do we know that’s really good at making stories about shit that doesn’t matter? Hmmm…
With any luck they’ll let the GoT guys do some Knights of the Old Republic or Darth Bane shits cause we’re a bit skeptical that they can handle telling a story that hasn’t been written yet, or that they get how the whole “good guy" / "bad guy” dynamic is supposed to work. But we’re not too worried since we know Disney isn’t afraid to make roster moves in the middle of a production. Hopefully these clowns'll be back on the waiver wire by next summer.
These days, Disney’s got us drinking Star Wars out of a firehose. A constant pipeline of novels, comic books, and TV shows completely fill the gaps between SW movies; and those gaps aren’t even that long anymore. So, of course, there’s a TON of Star Wars analysis and Star-Wars-adjacent media on the internet too.
Star Wars theories have become quite the little cottage industry. There’s nerds doing daily podcasts and youtubes, copy/pasting multi-thousand-word essays into message boards and reddits. Man, these nerds are out here, for real. We might be facing a nation-wide Adderall shortage before Episode IX hits theaters.
But nobody fucks with Star Wars harder than DYM. We’re all BIG TIME Star Wars guys from way back.
Now, a lot of people tell us they loved the old Star Wars, but then they hate on the new ones. We always found this a little preposterous since they’re all the same movie. Knit-picking-ass haters wanna armchair QB these movies – and we don’t get it. I mean, like, who made you guys the goddamn acting police? whatever.
It seems obvious enough to us that each successive Star Wars Episode parallels and references the previous ones in specific, calculated ways through themes, plot lines, cinematography and music. Not only that, but most of these references and most of the major plot points are synchronized - appearing at the same time in each film - so that the exact same story is told at the exact same pace.
But we guess we gotta break it all down for some of yall.
So, to celebrate the release of the Skywalker Saga Finale DYM is about to put all these nerds’ Star Wars Theories to shame with the most in-depth and comprehensive Star Wars Theory you’ve ever seen. We’re covering all eight Episodes and giving you an EXCLUSIVE preview of Episode IX.
It's MASSIVE, and we know not all of you guys are the most literate, so we're gonna break it up into digestible pieces here in the blog over the next few weeks.
This summer we'll answer all your most burning Star Wars questions:
What’s the best Star Wars movie? (The Last Jedi)
What’s DYM's favorite Star Wars movie? (The Phantom Menace)
What's the right order to watch them in? (Either 4,5,6,1,2,3,7,8,9; Or 4,3,7,5,2,8,6,1,9)
Who was the best Jedi? (Still Qui-Gonn)
How good is Episode IX gonna be?? (Oh man, so good)
In PART ONE tomorrow, we'll take down the internets' favorite Star Wars Theory: Star Wars Ring Theory. Then we'll show you why The Last Jedi is the best SW movie (so far)
Part 2 will break down why The Phantom Menace is our favorite and give you the DYM Exclusive Episode IX Preview (including custom concept art from the DYM media department)
Parts 3 & 4 are The DYM Ultimate Star Wars Theory, and why Star Wars is the best shit ever.
Part 5 wraps up by laying out all 3 trilogies side by to show how the Hero's Journey plays out exactly the same way in all three.
HAVE A GREAT STAR WARS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!