What’s up Special Ed?!?!?
It's getting cold out there, folks. Just in time for - SKI MASK SZN!!!
DUMPSTER DIVER OF THE WEEK: SHARON ERTZ!!!!!!!
(Sharon Ertz: 8 Moves. Total Moves this Week: 26)
Sharon lost Odell last week, and responded with flurry of moves including adding SEVEN (7) starters for week 8. Incredible. This week Sharon Ertz will only start one player that they drafted this year (Josh Jacobs). Their week 8 QB was acquired in a trade, and the ENTIRE rest of the roster was picked up this week. It's a masterful feat. A truly sublime work of roster-shuffling. Most of these guys aren't even really garbage:
Jason Sanders (D-VT) is the #3 fantasy kicker in the league this year
AJ Green has 24 target over the last two weeks
Agholor is legit now. We think he was still a free agent because most people didn't know he's not an Eagle anymore
Beasley, at age 31, is still the best rapper in the NFL
and La'Mical Perine is a sneaky funny name AND former Gator
PICKUP OF THE WEEK: Deejay Dallas
Speaking of under-rated funny names, we may be on the verge of the Deejay Dallas breakout game.
There's not a whole lot of chatter out here about how exciting it would be to have a star RB with a name as convoluted as Deejay Dallas. To be honest this is another guy who we had not even heard of until about 3 weeks ago. And he still seems to not be on the radar for most of the football watching world, which made him somewhat difficult to gather information on this week.
We think the reason people aren't more excited about Double D is mostly cause CeeDee Lamb was here first. We made a real big deal about CeeDee a couple months ago - and we weren't the only ones! People went crazy for CeeDee pre-season. Now this new guy comes around with the same phoneticized initials act, and folks are like "psshhh, nah. Been there, done that."
It's like on Looney Tunes when Spike the dog does a trick and gets a treat, then Sylvester does the same trick and the old lady beats his head with a hammer.
On paper, Deejay Dallas has everything you could want from a funny name: It’s easy to spell, and not bad looking written down; Rolls off the tongue too - Deejay Dallas is a very easy name to pronounce and it sounds great when you say it out loud. That alliteration gives the name a certain rhythm that you can bounce to a little bit; Makes you wanna hit those first syllables real hard like Martin Lawrence.
But there's something about it that's just not quite as funny as CeeDee Lamb.
It sorta seems more like a funny baseball name than a funny football name - at least not an RB, like, it’s a little too cute for an RB. Maybe a punter, there could see a punter named Deejay Dallas and nobody would bat an eye.
We'll probably end up ranking "Deejay Dallas" pretty closely to "Jack Doyle" cause they both just sound sounds made up.
It sounds like a character from a bad action movie. Could be Matthew McConaughey as a Myrtle Beach bar tender, who rides a motorcycle and he's getting a divorce... Or maybe they could replace Paul Walker in Fast & Furious 10 with a guy named Deejay Dallas, if they weren't already committed to filling that cast with only pro wrestlers. But, then again, Deejay Dallas could even be a good name for a pro wrestler too, tho.
AMERICA GAME OF THE WEEK:
DEFEND YOUR MOVES vs PAULS AWESOME TEAM!!!!!!!!
AGoTW Prediction Record: 3-3
Don't let the Yahoo! score projections fool you. We are NOT 20 point underdogs in this matchup. NO. FUCKING. WAY.
First of all, like we said up top, IT'S COLD OUT TODAY!!!!!!!! And that means it is OFFICIALLY Derrick Henry Szn. You know those clocks just fell backward, and the trees are getting bare cause DK is heavily shading the OVER on Henry o/u 99.5 rushing yards. LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Obviously, our roster isn't yet complete. We're waiting til THE LAST MINUTE this week, just to make sure Chris Carson doesn't show up. We all know Carson loves to start his Sunday morning with a hot cup of HGH, so ya never really can tell how long he's gonna be injured for.
One more reason Deejay Dallas is still such an unknown half-way through his rookie year, is he never played RB until 3 years ago. ITS TRUE. He was recruited out of high school as a "position-less athlete", thought to be best suited for WR or DB. But a season-ending injury to Mark Walton left the Miami Hurricanes with precious little depth at the RB position. So they converted Double D to RB, and the rest was history. He scored his first two rushing TDs against Notre Dame in week 10 of 2017, and would finish each of the next 3 seasons averaging over 5 yds per rushing attempt, on about 100 carries per year. This is all EXTREMELY on brand for us. "Positionless Athlete" is the IDEAL description for a player on DYM the Team.
We have a dream, that one day ALL Fantasy Players, regardless of their age, speed or size, will be able to stand side by side as Positionless Athletes. We have a dream that our children and their children's children will not be judged by where they line up on the field, but only by their TDs and Yds per Attempt alone!!!!!!!!
On the other side, Paul's got no players on bye or injured this week (although Connor and Cook are always just one play away). Which means they have tougher than usual choices to make at the Flex positions. Perfectly viable players like Chase Claypool and Amari Cooper will likely stay on the bench. Also, they're gonna hope KC doesn't blow out the jets in the first half and bench Tyreek again.
DEFEND YOUR MOVED WINS!!!!!!!!
THE WHITE JESUS POISON vs SHARON ERTZ
The Commish had a lot of guys in the Thursday Night Under-Fest, so they're down about 10pts from their Yahoo! projection right now. They've still got some serious firepower left with Clyde, Keenan, and Aiyuk; but we're just so proud of Sharon for scrapping this lineup together, we gotta pick them.
SHARON ERTZ WINS!!!!!!!!
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS vs POLK HIGH PANTHERS
The Rippers are gonna be in trouble if the Cowboys can't figure out how to run the offense through Zeke effectively. This being cold weather RB season, we're going with the team that's got Melvin Gordon at home and Kamara @ Chicago.
POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!!!!!!!
BRING IT ON HOME vs PICKLE RICKS!!!!!!!!
Come on now. Andy's really starting Lev Bell this week? He's just fucking with us now isn't he?
PICKLE RICKS!! WINS!!!!!!!
ZOMBO PETRINOS vs IKNOWS PANDEMICS
The Paternos made a late play for Pick Up of the Week, snagging Devin Singletary this morning. Very smooth move. But we're still much more excited about the Dual Higginses on the IKP team.
I KNOWS PANDEMICS WINS!!!!!!!!