Happy Halloween, Special Ed!!!!!!!!
The big thing that happened this week was Elon Musk finally bought Twitter, so you're allowed to just say anything on there now without consequence, apparently. We could see how that might become a problem in the medium-to-long-term but as long as ESPN's Mike Clay is on the platform there's still gonna be plenty of accurate and actionable information mixed in with the various hate-speeches.
UNDISPUTED!!!!!!!! We could not have made a better ranking ourselves. Off the top of our heads we probably woulda put Snickers in the top 5 but we completely forgot about twizzler nibs. For some reason they are 10x better than regular shaped twizzlers which is already a very not bad candy.
Our favorite thing on twitter this year is Big Cat's weekly NFL power rankings. Barstool Big Cat has been a first tier twitter user for a long time now. We're gonna miss him.
In this week's rankings our guy Russell Wilson was quite disrespec'fully entered dead last, behind the rest of the Booty Cheek Broncos and behind three other Russells.
Russells worldwide are ice cold right now. Westbrook's coming off the bench now and putting together his own episode of shaqtin a fool. Russell Brand is getting smoked by Kanye and Kyrie in the crackpot-conspiracy-theorist-influencer rankings. Russell Crowe was probably the #1 Russell for a while this summer after he convinced Taika Waititi to let him do a Greek accent in the Thor movie - which was HILARIOUS - but Westbrook's blooper reels are actually way funnier right now.
Also this week on twitter, we found out that the guy who tried to kill Nancy Pelosi the other day has a wix blog that looks just like ours except it's mostly racist memes and holocaust denial. And he wrote a scathing review of The Last Jedi like two days ago.
That hit kinda close to home. Really made us take a step back, ya know, reassess.
Like, why are we even doing this? A couple weeks ago we laid out the history of DYM, and big picture it really does seem like a downward spiral. Is this where we're headed?
We got a lot to think about, but Corey Booker's husband better sleep with one eye open.
What's going on with Fingerbang?!
They started out 3-1 and have lost three straight since. They haven't scored over 100 since week 4. We know they're not entirely asleep at the wheel because they did make a move this week (Allen Robinson - league winner), but it was only their third move all year and they're still sitting on 2 defenses and 2 QBs. TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES, FB!!!
Sharon Ertz has made an incredible comeback over the last four weeks. They have now won four straight games since trading away the #1 QB and losing Javonte Williams. Somehow, Dameon Pierce and Rhamondre Stevenson were both top 5 RBs over the last four weeks. It's a cinderella story!!!!!!!!
FOOD BEEF: EMPANADAS
Pan Casero 🇪🇨 Morristown, NJ
These are really good empanadas. The fillings were very simple ingredient-wise (just ground beef and shredded chicken, no veg) but they make up for it with SPICE. These bad boys are packed with flavor.
The pastry is not too thick and just as crispy as you like, and the meats were soft and juicy - a flawless texture. We're pushing these guys straight through to the playoffs.
We were pretty hungry the other day so we also ordered the "Super Burger" which is a burger with LTO, a fried egg, and queso fresco. It was excellent! Not the very best burger in town but coulda been in the running for sure.
EMPANADA SCORE: 9.5 (+.5 for El Super Burger)
MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!
Christian McCaffrey 🕵️♂️🕵🏻♂️ u60.5 rushing
Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 9-2
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!
HAMBURGLARS vs SHARON ERTZ!!!!!!!!
AGOTW Prediction Record 3-3
FIRST PLACE IS ON THE LINE IN WEEK EIGHT!!!!!!!!
Coincidentally, all four of the over .500 teams are playing each other this week. So theres a chance that one of these two teams could take over sole possession of first place. They are both on four game winning streaks, but Sharon Ertz is waaay hotter. Over the last four games Sharon put up an and incredible 132 points per game and defeated the other two over .500 teams (BIOH & Fisto). Over the last two weeks, Joe Burrow was the #1 QB and Jefferson was the #1 WR overall. This is the undisputed hottest team in Special Ed.
Th Hamburglars are Mama Bear's porridge. Not too hot not too cold. They only had one really good game (127 pts in week 4) aside from that they just score between 100 and 115 ever week. That's OK. We guess if you're a little lucky that could get you to 5-2.
They're starting 4 WRs this week and they're all OK, none are superstars. Aiyuk, Higgins, Waddle, and Davis all came into this season as the WR2 on their respective teams. Brady played on Thursday and got them 15, putting them on pace for another OK week. This squad is perfectly mediocre.
SHARON ERTZ: 135.43
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!
Fingerbang! vs Polk High Panthers
The Booty Cheek Broncos are playing the Jaguars in London right now. We're told it's on ESPN+ and we're not sure if we have that. Honestly we don't care to check cause Broncos/Jags might be the least watchable game of year so far. We're watching Spooky Buddies on Disney+ right now instead.
POLK HIGH PANTHERS WINS!!!!!!!!
DEFEND YOUR MOVES🐈⬛ vs miracle whip
Doug has J. Meyers and J. Myers in the lineup this week.
Bring It On Home vs Fisto kidds!!
Bring It On are pretty heavy favorites even with Kirk Cousins starting (🤢). The good news for BIOH is both their questionable WRs are gonna play; the bad news is Miss Cleo is FADING our guy McCaffrey!!!!!!!! He's gonna get bottled up this week - with Deebo out it'll behoove the Rams to put extra defenders on CMac. Gotta try to force Jimmy G to pass today you'd think.
We're still gonna be detectives tomorrow tho 🕵️♂️🕵🏻♂️.
FISTO KIDDS WINS!!!!!!!!
Paul’s Awesome Team vs Tobin & The Rippers
We made a very low-octane trade this week with the Rippers. It's kinda amazing when a trade goes down in this league and there's just fuckin crickets on the text chain. Nobody cares about the Panthers right now. It'll make a difference for Tobin cause he might not have any other options at WR, but once DK and Mike Williams come back DJ Moore won't start for this team.
The two highest over/under lines this week are Saints/Raiders and Vikings/Cardinals at 48.5. That's kinda weird to us in a vacuum since none of those four seem like they're actually good right now. It's great news for The Rippers cause they have four guys from those two contests (Murray, Olave, Kamara, and Cook). But still we think we're gonna bet a lotta unders today.
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!