DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 WEEK 10!!!!!!!!!!


PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: The trading deadline in Special Ed is this Saturday 11/11.

It's the WEEK 10 DYM TRADE DEADLINE SPECIAL LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!

Total Moves this Week: 34 (Great Job!)

Dumpster Diver of the Week: Abby & Russ

The first and possibly last trade of the year in Special Ed went down late Thursday night. So for the first time ever we are honoring TWO Dumpster Divers of the Week for Week 9!!!!!!!!! Abby and I each made strong individual cases for DDotW:

  • Abby entered the weekend with two inactive TEs, no kicker, and got a NEGATIVE from Will Snead

  • DYM picked up the GOAT Josh Fucking Gordon, and are rocking 2 QBs and 2 TEs like a BOSS

But this award is all about the trade! See, you guys, Fantasy trades are like quantum potentialities that cannot truly exist until they are observed by the scientist’s watchful eye. Right now there are dozens of very fair trades that could be made in this league but they cannot become reality unless we studiously seek them out. When we enter the fantasy trade laboratory it is vital to remain focused on the subject of our trade study, and not let any outside factors influence our analysis. Many people embark on a study of fantasy trade potentialities for the purpose of fulfilling a perceived “team need”, but this will often lead to a biased study, the results of which are always BAD TRADES.

On Thursday evening, we were offered a number of BAD TRADES after the devastating loss of our Hall of Fame QB. There were opportunities for teams with multiple good QBs to profit from the vast plethora of RB and WR talent on DYM’s roster. But many people still don’t seem to realize that we have always been the fairest trader in the Special Ed league. We have only ever offered the fair trades. We don’t fuck with you guys, and unlike some people we don’t try to rip you off.

Trades should be very exciting things for everybody! It can be as exciting as another draft day because it should be an opportunity for people to get something they missed out on in the draft; which is exactly why Abby and I were a match made in fantasy trade heaven last week. An incredible confluence of circumstances had to occur to make this trade possible. Antonio Brown is a very difficult player to trade for. So I had to make sure the offer would be particularly attractive to the Brown owner:

  • I targeted Brown on his bye week, offering a player that can start.

  • Abby drafted maximum Patriots, and I have one of those

  • Ty Montgomery was her best player early in the season, so no one’s more interested in Aaron Jones

But it’s not just as easy as player math, for a great trade to go down, the timing and the mood had to be just right. And this was a very intimate, late-night fantasy rendezvous.

You know how it goes. You’re having a bad football Thursday, you get home late, drunk, sad. Maybe you want somebody to talk to, maybe a night of terrible Football has you feeling numb inside and you just want to feel something, anything, at all. So you pick up the phone. Without even thinking you thumb a text.

“U up?”

And she answers. And your head spins with possibility. Before you know it you’ve made an offer. What am I doing here? Is this really going to happen? Yes! It’s happening!!! Oh YEEESSSSSS!!! Nothing feels better than being in the throes of a passionate fantasy trade. But the next morning we woke up and had to face reality. I gotta admit, placing the waiver claim on Mariota was a real a walk of shame. But hey, you only live once right? So, get out there kids! Get some trades! But be safe, RESPECT YOURSELF, and only trade with the ones you love.

Now since I said there were lots of trades to be made, I’m gonna help you guys out with a few freebees. I know none of yall have the cojones to pull the trigger on these blockbusters but I don’t want to hear any excuses next week, these trades are RIPE for the picking:

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Golden Richards receives:

Todd Gurley II

Randall Cummingham receives:

Michael Thomas & Leonard Fournette

GR has to find a way to get TY Hilton into the lineup every week and Michael Thomas is hogging that starting spot. Fournette is having a very sexy rookie season and could be as good as Gurley down the stretch although his health and behavior present risks. RC is thin at receiver so he might take that risk in exchange for a starting WR.

Polk High receives:

Tyreek Hill

Team Meh receives:

Alex Smith

Polk High needs serious help at WR, Manny Sanders and Paul Richardson don’t look like long term options. He can always stream QBs. Meanwhile QB is the only real weakness in Meh’s roster and he needs to break up Hill and Kelce anyway.

-10 Yards of Eli receives:

Carlos Hyde

¡Que Lástima! receives:

Doug Baldwin

-10 Yards has many many holes to fill in the lineup, and likely needs to win all their remaining games to get to the playoffs. But if they want to improve the team this year and make a respectable finish, RB is definitely the most pressing issue. ¡QL! needs the WR help since Jordy is not looking very fantasy useful without Aaron Rodgers.

WHOS HOT??????????

There’s been a lot of chatter about what a topsy-turvy fantasy season this has been. And it’s true! This has been a very inconsistent and unpredictable fantasy season. Sure injury is largely to blame, but even without any marquee injuries this week, chaos reigned. AJ Green got and Mike Evans got ejected; and the top 5 flex players included Alvin Kamara, Marvin Jones, Matt Forte and Corey Clement. Good for you if you started those guys but there’s no way you saw that coming.

It seems like the same story every week, but in Trump’s America the only thing that is predictable is unpredictability. And there’s no better gauge for the craziness of a Special Ed season than the WHOS HOT thermometer. Take a look at our Commish – He’s the hottest team in the league, and he’s won 2 of the last 3, despite having done virtually NOTHING to improve his roster in the last month. The highlights of The Commish’s moves the last four weeks are picking up and dropping Marlon Mack and Latavious Murray twice each. The Amari Cooper and Devin Funchess breakouts haven’t really happened (yet), Matt Ryan is still not good, Jordan Howard is still only good every other game. Same team, just scoring 10% more points this month than last. If the playoffs started today, I’d be most scared of Randall Cummingham and Team Meh. They’re the ones who’ve maintained the most consistency throughout the season.

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK

¡Que Lástima! vs Polk High Panthers

Que Lastima is 8-1 and still in 1st place!!!!!!!!!! The entire season has been a magic carpet ride for Jeffery Ertz. But the last few weeks have been even more incredible as they have won 3 straight despite not scoring over 100 in any of the 3 games. QL is without their best player this week, and have cooled considerably, but remain slightly warmer than the Polk High Panthers. PHP has lost two straight which corresponds with a recent Chiefs cold-streak, the bye week couldn’t have come at a better time for Alex Smith. Sitting him down could be addition by subtraction. Unfortunately there are a record number of teams carrying 2 QBs so the options are slim, it looks like PHP is gearing up to start Kirk Cousins. That’s a serious gamble. But I do like AJ Green to bounce-back in a big way this week.

These both seem like playoff teams, but somehow this matchup has the lowest projected point total of the week. I know you guys are better than that.

PREDICTION:

PHP: 101.97

¡QL!: 101.96

AGOTW Prediction Record: 3-6

SPECIAL ED MATCHUP PREVIEWS

DYM.com vs Team Meh

TM is looking to start Phil Rivers at Sacksonville. Love that matchup. Everybody’s rooting against Team Meh right now cause they’re the best team in the league, but still have a chance to miss the playoffs. Feels good to have the league behind us.

DYM WINS!!!!!!!!!!

Saquon’s Heisman vs -10 Yard of Eli

JUJU!!! FUNCHESS!!! How was this not the game of the week?

Saquon WINS!!!!!!!!!!

Whack Walkers vs Bitchslapped

Abby has almost the whole Patriots, and Denver is not the tough matchup it once was. I probably should’ve mentioned that Doug could trade her Gronk for any/everyone else on the team.

BITCHSLAPPED WINS!!!!!!!!!!

Golden Richards vs Randall Cummingham

So Josh McCown has been in the NFL longer than Special Ed has existed and he’s never started a game for us. This could be the week. This is a terrible week to have a QB on bye. And this is why I ALWAYS say you should keep a backup QB at all times just in case. Better Safe Than Sorry™, that’s the DYM motto!

GR WINS!!!!!!!!!!

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

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