HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SPECIAL ED!!!!!!!!
Robble robble!!!!!!!!
This is another HUGE week for Food Beef. Don't be surprised if you're local bar is all out of burgers on Sunday - They might get a visit from the HAMBURGLAR on mischief night! LETS GO!!!!!!!!
FOOD BEEF VI: BURGERS!!!!!!
This Week: The Habit Burger Grill
Habit is a chain with over 100 locations around the country, but we never heard of it until a couple years ago and this was our first trip. We've drove past this place a million times because it's right around the corner from McDonalds. We probably would have gone there before today if we had realized there's a drive-thru. This might be the only place on the Food Beef Burger tour that has a Drive-Thru and that's a big plus for us. We picked up a "Double Char Burger Combo" and took it home to share with the wife.
This burger was DELICIOUS! We were both blown away - much better than either of us expected. We just had McDonalds yesterday after the school halloween parade, so Habit had a really tough act to follow. The crazy thing is that this burger tastes JUST LIKE a McDonalds burger, except meatier. It's got tons of melty cheese, the sauce is just like big mac sauce, and the toppings give it a pickle-forward flavor profile that we just loved! The fries were excellent too.
The wife liked it most of all, she really digs a saucy, cheesy burger. We probly won't find a burger she likes more this year. Nearly flawless.
DYM: 9
Wife: 10
BURGER SCORE: 9.5
WHOS HOT?!?!?!?!
Pickle Ricks got the full DOUBLE-REVENGE on us last week, but fortunately he also gifted us with a brand new hilarious team name. MARSHAWN LUNCH🍔 is one of our all-time favorite team names, and of course it's extremely on-brand. That win moves Pickle Ricks into THE HOT ZONE and moves us down to #2 overall.
But the big thing we're seeing here is there's some very real stratification going on in this league. We created WHOS HOT so that there'd be an alternative to the traditional points and standings from Yahoo!. So it's really interesting to see that the bottom three teams in the standings are also the three coldest teams in this league. Rob, Doug and The Commish are responsible for 5 of the 6 lowest scores of the last three weeks, and only one of them has won a game since week 4 (Rob beat the Commish). It would seem as though, in this relatively early stage of the season, the Playoff contenders have already been named.
The only team with a losing record that has a chance to eek into the Playoffs is PAULS AWESOME TEAM. They've turned it on with 2 strong scores in the past three weeks. They could be just a few weeks away from supplanting NO&THEN as the 6th playoff team.
MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!
JUSTIN HERBERT!!!!!!!!
Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 4-3
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!
BRING IT ON HOME vs TOBIN & THE RIPPERS!!!!!!!!
AGOTW Prediction Record: 4-3
There's still 4 teams tied for first in Special Ed and two of them face-off in this week's AGOTW!!! LETS GO!!!!!!!!
Andy had one of the most fortunate drafts in Special Ed history this year. He's been in first place for most of the year but has only made TWO (2!!!!) roster moves in the first seven weeks. Only bye weeks and injuries have forced them to deviate from their week 1 starting lineup. Credit where credit's due: that was an AMAZING draft. Great Job. But the season is still relatively young and as we all know the letters "NFL" stand for "NOT FOR LONG". No Special Ed Champion since 2013 has made less than 20 moves, and only two teams have ever won this league with their week 1 starters:
2012 will always be remembered for Paul's miracle auto-draft that netted him Calvin Johnson, Steven Jackson and Jimmy Graham - all in their primes - and the league winners RG3 and Trent Richardson. There's no way he woulda drafted both those guys on purpose, but it fuckin worked.
In 2013 Doug drafted the powerhouse RB duo of DeMarco Murray and The Real Beastmode. Drew Brees kicked in about 5000 yards and 40 TDs too, not his best season but it got the job done for Doug's squad. They only dropped four players from the draft and still hold the Special Ed Record for "Most Points From Draft Players".
But it's never happened since. 2013 seems like a long time ago now, and the game has changed quite a bit since then. We don't think a modern day fantasy football team can really go the whole year with the same starters and win the league. Not any more.
Tobin & The Rippers have a lot of bye and injury issues to deal with, but they've managed to cobble together an impressive amount of bench depth over the last few weeks. Even with Lamar, Hunt, and Mr. Big Chest out of the lineup they still have the 3rd highest Yahoo! projected score this week.
For this matchup he's starting the Giants QB and a guy named Eli which seems kinda serendipitous. Dan Jones is actually a not bad spot-starter against the Chiefs' deadass rock-bottom pass defense. He's also got 4 guys that got 100 bonuses yards last week (Eli, Chase, AJ, Harris) and they all have favorable matchups again this week.
It's gonna be an upset on paper, but we're goin' with Tobin.
MAKE A MOVE ANDY! JEEZ!!!!
Prediction:
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS: 135.10
BRING IT ON HOME: 129.58
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!
MARSHAWN LUNCH🍔 vs. SHARON ERTZ
Since Miss Cleo's picks hit a cold-streak recently, the DYM Research Department has been looking into alternative divination practices to round out our repertoire.
We looked into Vedic Astrology, I-Ching, we ate a lotta mushrooms, asked a magic 8-ball... We're leaving no stone unturned. But our favorite shit right now is the Aztec Calendar.
The Mayans and Aztecs used a 260-day calendar that's neither lunar nor solar.
The year is made up of 20 thirteen-day periods, each of which is ruled over by one of their 20 gods and goddesses.
The past thirteen days were ruled by Tonacatecuhtli, the binary god/goddess of fertility. They create human life but they also created the stone knife used in the human sacrifices made in their honor. So, unsurprisingly, this past two weeks have been kinda rough for us:
We had the Bills tragic Monday night loss, our double revenge losses to Pickle Ricks, and our real life gambling picks have been just as cold as Cleo's.
But good news is right around the bend - the new Aztec week starts TODAY and it's gonna be ruled by none other than The Morning Star himself, that fabulous Feathered Serpent - QUETZACOATL!!!!!!!!
That's right the big dog is in the house!! Quetzacoatl survived the apocalypse of the last epoch and created our current universe by pouring his blood into dead bones. So we suspect that all the sacrifice we made last week should set us up for a solid resurrection over this next couple weeks. We're extra hyped right now cause this is actually a HUGE weekend for us mythological syncretism aficionados.
Quetzacoatl is the morning star in Aztec mythology and it just so happens that the real life planet Venus is the closest planet to the Earth at this very moment, with Mercury and Mars both cruising over to the far side of the Sun. (DYM Pro-tip: Try to get some head this week while Venus is in the neighborhood! 😚🍆)
On the calendar, Quetzacoatl week is the first week of the year so today is actually Aztec New Year's Day (Happy New Year Everybody!).
And, as you all know, the OG Gaelic Halloween back in the day was their New Year's Eve too (Double Happy New Year LETS GOOO!!!!!).
MARSHAWN LUNCH🍔 WINS!!!!!!!!
DELTA BLUES vs POLK HIGH PANTHERS
Free Win For Matt!!!!!!!!
PHP WINS!!!!!!!!
PAULS AWESOME TEAM vs PICKLE RICKS
Paul was forced to start a Thursday Night QB so they're playing from behind right now. But with Chubb back in action and Ekeler looking highly questionable, we think PAT will stay hot this week.
PAT WINS!!!!!!!!
🚮 vs NO&THEN
Aaron Jones was pretty good on Thursday but still fell 4.5 yards short of his rushing yard prop which is very annoying. D-Hop got 7pts which is kinda OK for a Thursday. But N&T has a chance to stay in the playoff mix if he heeds Miss Cleo's Mystical Advice®. START HERBERT FOR THE WIN MIKE LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
NO&THEN WINS!!!!!!!!
