HAPPY NEW YEAR, SPECIAL ED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We took a trip to The Wife's homeland for the last couple weeks. The internet's not very fast down there and we didn't have a lot of free time to just sit in front of the computer, so we missed a couple weeks of DYMs. Fortunately, Nicaragua is a pretty wild place so we think we came back with some decent content for you guys.
But first, some official business -
Special Ed Teams have one more day to roster their Keepers for 2023.
This year, anyone drafted 8th round or later can be kept - even if you dropped them during the season.
Right now every team has at least one potential keeper rostered (✅), and there are still a few potential keeper free agents left (FA).
We think most of you guys did a good job with this new set-up. There's only one pickup left to be made, in our opinion, that's Dak Prescott (for Doug) and he's actually on waivers til tomorrow.
Nicaragua is crazy right now.
For those that don't know - the "President" has been in office since 2007. He was also the first President of Nicaragua after the socialist revolution in the early 80's - so this is his second decade-plus administration. 2021 was his fifth consecutive election win - all of which were allegedly fraught with irregularities and fraud.
There was a series of violent protests in 2018-20 that seemed to portend an all-out civil war. But with the memory of the last Nicaraguan civil war still fresh in most adults' memories, a true insurrection never materialized. Then, in the lead up to the '21 election, the government began arresting rival political party leaders, journalists, and even Catholic priests who challenged the ruling party.
At least 300 civilians were killed by the military/police and another several hundred political prisoners are still being held indefinitely.
Right now it's a police state.
Cops are fuckin OUT HERE. There's random checkpoints on every major road, they got big guns, and sometimes they wear ski masks during the day which doesn't seem to be making people feel more safe.
Dissent is now illegal and also logistically difficult because the party controls every branch of federal and local government; AND Presidente's family owns a whole bunch of TV stations, telecoms, oil refineries and distribution operations, real estate companies, and transportation/logistics companies. So you can't really boycott them if you ever want to like drive or have a home or talk to people.
Everybody's pretty up tight right now, which of course is the ideal environment for CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!!!
The hottest teoría conspiración right now is that Daniel is actually dead.
A lot of people hopped on this one a couple years ago when COVID first went real crazy and he didn't appear in public for a month or two. He did reappear around election time in late 2021, but now he's in the midst of another month+ absence from public view so the teoría is resurfacing. He made a radio address on Christmas Eve that a lotta people said sounded pre-recorded, and didn't really address any timely issues.
It's a little confusing tho, cause people still talk about the COVID episode and they kinda conflate it with the fact that he has lupus that he has to get treatment for in Cuba. It's probably just wishful thinking. But we think it's also pretty telling that so many people really think he might be dead and also can't really do anything about the fact that he's President.
Another teoría that's more wide-spread, but maybe less politically impactful, is that Rosario - the First Lady/Vice-President - is a witch. Like a real witch.
She gave a home tour to a TV station once where she talked about her power crystals and shrines (2:50 in the video above). She also looks like Cruella Deville so we totally get where this one is coming from.
Interestingly, Rosario also led the recent effort to reestablish diplomatic ties with Israel. Like most Socialist governments, they've historically been nominally pro-PLO, and subject to sanctions from the US and Israel. Which leads us to our personal favorite -
There are probably more Jews in Summit High School than in all of Nicaragua. Yet, for some reason, the Star of David has become one of the most ubiquitous logos in the entire country.
It's fuckin everywhere - on buses, taxis, t-shirts, hardware stores, you name it! They sell Israeli flags in stores right next to the Nicaraguan flag and the red & black FSLN party flag.
We've been told that some Pentecostal Churches down there have claimed the star as their own, and people just rock Israeli flags cause that's where Jesus was born.
We don't totally understand this one, to be honest. It's just kinda funny how many "Jew-ish" latinos there are these days.
AMERICAS GAMES OF THE WEEK
FISTO KIDDS vs SHARON ERTZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1pm Games just kicked off and we didn't write your game previews. Woops.
Fisto is down by 5 and projected to lose by 11
Bad News: Taysom Hill just scored on Fisto's bench.
Good News: Travis Etienne already has as many rushing yards as Zeke did on Thursday.
There's gonna be three guys left on each side after the 1pm's including both QBs. Justin Herbert has a much better matchup (vs LAR) than Burrow (vs BUF). But most of the action is gonna be in the MIN vs GB game. If Justin Jefferson has a big game, and especially if Aaron Jones doesn't, then Sharon Ertz is gonna run away with their 2nd Special Ed Championship.
SHARON ERTZ WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAULS AWESOME TEAM vs BRING IT ON HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The two prohibitive favorites entering the playoffs are now matched up in the 3rd place game.
PAT already got 100yds from CeeDee on Thursday and now Justin Fields just went over 100 rushing in the first quarter. This is looking like another PAT smash performance. They might go over 160 today.
PAULS AWESOME TEAM WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!