TRIPLE-DEMIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's up, Special Ed?
Sorry we missed y'all last week, we're havin' a rough one.
There were a buncha family gatherings and shit around Thanksgiving which sucked cause we got hit with that TRIPLE-DEMIC.
We keep looking at this symptom chart trying to figure
out if it's COVID, or bird flu, or MVS or whatever. Could be all of em -- alls we know is it fuckin SUCKS. We're still sick as a dog right now, but we think last Sunday-Monday was the worst of it, so we're fighting through it today.
Big apologies to any members of DYM Nation we came in contact with last weekend.
OUR BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOS HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Not a lot has changed in the two weeks since our last WHOS HOT check-in:
Paul is still BLAZIN' HOT.
Dave is still FREEZIN' COLD.
Defend Your Moves seems to be heating up, but we're still in 7th place!!!
With only two weeks left, NOBODY has clinched and there are still 7 teams that could get a playoff bye-week. THATS CRAZY!!!!!
Tobin & The Rippers are the coldest and lowest scoring team in the top seven. With a 1-game lead over DYM, they still control their own destiny - if they get to 9 wins they'll be in. But if The Rippers lose one of the next two then all the current 8-win teams (Bring It, Sharon, Fisto, and Burglars) would be IN; and if they lose both then Fingerbang has a chance to move ahead of them with 2 wins and a +24 point differential.
FOOD BEEF: EMPANADA PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need a few more days of green tea and chicken soup, so the Empanada Playoffs will have to be postponed til next week.
Oh, btw, Cynthia just got tested. It's THE FLU!!!!!
COCAINE BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The HIGHLY ANTICIPATED "Cocaine Bear" film is set to release in February, and the first trailer just came out yesterday. It looks amazing. There's an ALL-STAR cast featuring the late Ray Liotta, Senator Clay Davis, Ice Cube Jr., young Han Solo, the living legend Keri Russell, and, of course, a bear that eats cocaine.
LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!!!
This is a huge "can't believe Chris isn't here to see this" moment. The Commish basically modeled his whole lifestyle after that bear. Drugs, hibernation, picnic baskets, the whole nine.
RIP COMMISH
MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George Kittle o45.5 rec yds & o19.5 longest rec
Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 9-6
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAUL'S AWESOME TEAM vs. DEFEND YOUR MOVES
PLAYOFF LIVES ARE ON THE LINE IN WEEK 13!!!!!
Paul will clinch a playoff spot with a win. If Paul loses and Tobin wins then Paul moves down to 7th place.
Team DYM would be in pretty big trouble if we lose. Paul would be the fifth team with 8+ wins so we'd be stuck battling Tobin and/or Fingerbang for 6th place. Week 14 would be a must-win and we'd also need Tobin to lose at least once.
Paul's Awesome Team has two absolute BEASTS that both might not play this week:
Justin Fields was the #1 player in fantasy football for just a minute there. Fields scored 113 points in his last 3 games, that's about the same as Josh Allen's total over his last 6 games. Crazy. We have Fields in the Class of '99 League, so we'd prefer if he plays, but it's very likely that he takes another week off to rest that AC joint before the Bears' bye in week 14.
Josh Jacobs was supposed to be injured coming into week 12, but found his way to forty (40!!!) touches and 300 total yards. Supposedly, Jacobs aggravated his whatever late in the game so he's not practicing and will be questionable again. We really doubt Jacobs misses this choice matchup with the Chargers (#3 matchup vs RBs), but it would be HUGE if Paul has to late-swap Pacheco.
Team DYM is mostly healthy, but Hopins is on bye.
That might not even be a bad thing tho, cause Christian Watson has actually been better than Nuk the last three weeks. We're also not sure if it matters if Aaron Rodgers plays or not, since he kinda sucks and Watson got a TD from Jordan Love last week anyway.
Elsewhere, we kinda hate all of our guys' matchups except Kittle vs Miami. Tony Pollard and Rachaad White both have red-light matchups on yahoo (IND and NO, respectively), but it's possible the Bucs and Cowboys get up to big leads early and turn to their youngest RBs to run out the clock in garbage time.
We have guys in every time slot this week, but we'll know a lot about where this is headed after Diggs plays Thursday Night. Pretty much everytime Diggs has 100 yds or a TD we get a win. There was one game where Diggs had 74 and 0 (week 3) and we won; and there was one game where Diggs had 77 and 1 (last week) and we lost.
If Diggs goes over 100 and scores a TD tonight then we're definitely gonna win.
PREDICTION: DYM: 162.23
PAT: 160.54
DEFEND YOUR MOVES WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS
HAMBURGLARS vs. 🫙
We hope you guys followed our World Cup Futures bets, cause our picks are ON FIRE right now!!!!
The group winners we gave y'all for Groups A, B, and C (Netherlands/Senegal, England/USA, and Argentina/Poland) all hit, plus we snuck in some action on Morocco🇲🇦 to win Group F right before the matches started last weekend.
Our other favorite squad, Serbia, is 4th in Group G right now with one loss and one tie, but they're not dead yet. They can still get through with a win over Switzerland (and a Brazil win or tie) on Friday.
Argentina lost their first game but still won the group. That's good news for you guys cause Argentina's still at +500 to win the whole shebang (Brazil OR Argentina is down to +120 on Fanduel). Get that in before they run roughshod on Australia on Saturday afternoon.
⚽️🔒🔨💰🌎
HAMBURGLARS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BRING IT ON HOME vs. SHARON ERTZ
These guys are tied for first at the moment, along with Fisto and the Burglars. The winner should clinch and will be competing for a first-round bye, the loser could fall as low as 5th going into next week.
Davante Adams is the #3 overall player in fantasy over the last four weeks. That's weird cause now the top two non-QBs (Adams and Jacobs) are both on the Raiders.
BIOH has some pretty concerning injuries. McCaffrey got hurt last week and Fournette was out last week already - they're both HIGHLY questionable. If both of them end up missing this week then BIOH is probably fucked. There's no good free agent RBs right now, and since they have tie-breakers on everybody they're probably better off with the goose-eggs (and potential Hall of Shame loss) than blowing up their bench to go get Kenneth Gainwell or whatever.
SHARON ERTZ WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FISTO KIDDS!! vs. FINGERBANG!
Fisto could move up to 2nd place with a win, and could drop to as low as 6th with a loss. Fingerbang! needs to win out to have a chance at the last playoff spot.
Both teams are starting a Brown and it'll be interesting to see how the return of Deshaun Watson will impact Amari and Chubb. Houston is the #1 matchup for RBs so we gotta think Chubb still has the advantage at least this week. We also really like Hurts against the Titans, but the rest of the FB squad is very shaky. Fortunately they probably only need to muster about 100 points to take down the ICE COLD Fisto Kidds.
FINGERBANG! WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POLK HIGH PANTHERS vs. TOBIN & THE RIPPERS
The Rippers will remain in playoff position with a win, and could fall to 7th with a loss.
Tobin's been pretty shitty for the last month or so, but most of that time was when Ja'Marr Chase was out - and he's back now - so maybe this is where they turn this thing around. Maybe.
The other problem is Kamara and Cook have both been underperforming for a few weeks, but you gotta start em regardless. Like, you'd never start Brian Robinson over Kamara right? Would you? Nah, you won't do it. Bet you won't do it.
For this week Tobin is gonna need a QB to fill in with Calamari on bye. If we were him we'd go with Mike White. RESPEC' YO MIKES!!!!!
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
