WHAT'S UP SPECIAL ED?!?!?!
We’re not gonna lie - We completely fell asleep at the wheel on Monday.
We missed out on Jerome Ford cause we FORGOT that Chubb was on our team. It’s so stupid. We saw the injury happen, Pierre Strong got picked up in The Joe Rogans’ League, and we went outside to smoke a bowl. Then we saw Tobin pick up Ford and thought “Huh. OK. Nice pickup, Tobin.” 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️ 🤦♂️
So yea, Team DYM sucks, and it’s week 3 and we’re finally getting around to writing the first blog of the season. It’s disgraceful but we got mad excuses tho.
We’re in five leagues this year (which is too many), and we did barely did any pre-draft research cause we spent the whole summer doing a bunch of shit that seemed important at the time but we definitely regret in retrospect:
Right around draft time we built an app at our job that’ll never see the light of day (it works tho!!!).
Before that we wrote 50 pages of the CJ novel that’ll also never see the light of day.
Plus we spent a couple hundred hours playing golf - and we still really suck at golf.
AND lest we forget that Team DYM is now beset by The Commissioners Curse: No Special Ed commish has ever won this league and perhaps they never will!!!!!
FUCK IT LETS GO GOLFING!!!!!
NEW STAR WAR!!!
One other reason we hadn’t written a DYM yet this season is cause we were apoplectic about the new Star War. Ahsoka was by far the most highly anticipated Star Wars television product ever. We wrote a blog about the potential for an Ahsoka spin-off about five and a half years ago. Rebels had the sexiest and weirdest aliens and the wackiest space magic of any Star War.
We were EXTREMELY amped for this show.
But the first few episodes were so fucking bad we couldn't even talk about it. Episodes 1-5 of Ahsoka are just non-stop, blatant, out-of-context fan service. It’s like just a bunch of stuff that already happened in Star Wars Rebels, but now you get to see it in real life. Ugh. We don’t get why anyone is excited by that kinda shit any more now that AI and deepfakes exist. You don’t actually have to wait for Disney to make “live action” versions of these shows, they've already been made and the ones on the internet have POV blowjobs so they’re actually way better. Anyway, the story so far was just not interesting - it’s slow, the characters are not engaging, and above all the whole thing just seemed pointless.
But credit where credit's due - it has been consistently low-key sexy. We appreciate how often they have Hera Syndulla walking away from the camera - you can always count on Disney for some tasteful back-shots.
So last night we ate a handful of mushrooms and put a $100 FAAB bid on Jerome Ford in the Class of '99 League before we watched episode 6.
And we THINK it was actually good. In this episode we see most of the action from the perspective of the show's new bad guys Baylan Skoll and Shin Hati. We're pretty sure Baylan was in Game of Thrones, and Shin Hati is a Ukrainian dime piece with a sexy accent - they rule. They go to this weird new planet which is actually in another galaxy. Leaving THE GALAXY should be a super big deal and could have some huge impacts on the SW Canon. People are saying maybe The Force doesn't work the same in this galaxy, or maybe there's some power even greater than The Force... but we're pretty sure they're not actually gonna have anything original happen in this show because it's Star Wars.
This episode also (finally) re-introduced Grand Admiral Thrawn, who's very cool looking and very scary, and we like that he's kinda fat now.
So now we're once again cautiously optimistic about the rest of the Ahsoka show. But we're definitely gonna eat mushrooms again the next two Tuesdays.
FOOD BEEF 2023!!!
FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!!!!
We love a fried chicken sandwich!!!
We love a classic crispy fried chicken sandwich with pickles AND we love a spicy hot chicken sandwich with pickles. But which one do we love more???
We've selected EIGHT local chicken joints that will compete in one of two divisions - Fried Chicken Sandwiches and Hot Chicken Sandwiches. The top two sandwiches from each division will advance to the Chicken Sandwich Playoffs, and then the best hot chicken sandwich will face off against the best classic fried chicken sandwich for the chance to be named the 2023 Food Beef Chicken Sandwich Champion!!! LETS GOOOOO!!!!!
Wingstop - Morristown - 3.5
The Stirling Tavern - Morristown - 4
Hangry Joe’s Hot Chicken - Florham Park - 4.5
Marie's Chicken Joint - Chatham - 3.5
Super Chix - East Hanover - 4
Tony Boy's Sandwich House - Madison - 4
Namkeen - Chatham - 4.5 stars
La Rosa Chicken & Grill - Madison - 4
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!
DUMB BUT PRETTY vs. PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM!!!
TWO UNDEFEATED TEAMS FACE OFF IN A WEEK 3 MIRROR MATCH!!!
This is a super weird match up.
They have two sets of WR teammates facing off - Ridley vs. Kirk and Godwin vs. Evans - plus Bijan Robinson will face Brian Robinson to decide, once and for all, who is the NFL's #1 B-Rob.
Right now Mike has Mongomery in the FLEX but he's not gonna play. So we're also pretty sure they're gonna end up starting Terry McLaurin, making three intra-team matchups. Fascinating!!!
Jerome Ford not withstanding, Paul has been the biggest benefactor of DYM's lackadaisical approach to the early season. Puka Nacua and Kyloren Williams could both be league winners.
We're beside ourselves right now. Can't believe we missed out on Puka Nacua. It's the fucking best name ever!!! It's fucking totally made up - like just a bunch of sounds - but it fucking rhymes and its soooo fun to say - PUKA NACUA!!!!! PUKA NACUA!!!!! Oh my god. Fuck us. We shoulda fucking drafted him!! Idiot.
Anyway. Even without Saquon we think DBP will make this an interesting game. They have the #1 QB and the better side of the B-Rob Showdown. Pittsburgh D will probably have another field day this week against the Raiders.
We like Kirk>Ridley this week as Houston is tougher against outside WRs than they are against the slot. Paul definitely has the better Tampa receiver as well. We don't think Ekeler plays this week but we think Christian Watson will. And, of course, we're never gonna pick anyone over Puka ever again.
PREDICTION: PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM: 143.59
DUMB BUT PRETTY: 130.22
PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM WINS!!!
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS vs. I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA
Tobin is 2-0 and scoring over 140 per game. That's good. But still, we're always underwhelmed when we look at his roster. Like, Mostert? and a Tight End? really?But it's working because there's no holes in the starting lineup. Tobin has pulled the right strings and put together extremely consistent squads over the first two weeks. They've only had 1 dud in the starting lineup so far (Lamar's 3-pt stinker in week one). No other Special Ed team had fewer than 4 players score less than 5 points.
If Waddle doesn't play then Flowers is a lock for 10+ points.
Luka Nacua made a very smart move this week dropping Daniel Jones for Dak. They're streaming QBs against Arizona. Which is actually ingenious and we wish we had thought of it first. Arizona D stinks obviously, but the beauty of this plan is that The Cardinals are playing Stafford, Purdy, and Geno twice each, and they all happen to be not bad QBs who are all Special Ed free-agents. Plus they get Ridder, Pickett, and Burrow (who's almost definitely getting dropped) - They could stream against ARI for 10 of the next 11 weeks. Thats crazy. And it just might work too. Nice move, Luca.
I ❤️ AUNTIE CYNTHULA WINS
LETS GO GOLFING!!!🏌️♂️ vs. ERIN ERTZ
Rob has some banged up RBs, but who doesn't? Miles and Pacheco weren't all that good the last two weeks anyway. He could end up with a 2-TE lineup this week, and he'll still probably win cause our team SUUUUUUUCKS.
This team is such a shit show right now. Tutu Atwell is the poor man's Puka in every fucking way. James Cook is never gonna score a TD. We got no QB. And Najee. Fucking goddamn Najee. It's just the worst.
ERIN ERTZ WINS!!!
FISTO KIDDS!! vs. I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING
We know they've been in the league for a few years now but we still get Trevor Lawrence and Justin Herbert mixed up in our head. They're basically the same guy. White guys with blonde hair and two first names, and they play somewhere hot and their teams are both light blue sometimes. Someone drafted Justin Herbert in the Rogans' League and we were like "ooooh nice pick" cause we thought it was Lawrence.
Pretty sure Lawrence is the one we like. Jaguars right? Yea, Jaguars.
FISTO KIDDS WINS!!!
THE HAMBURGLARS vs. 🧨🧨WEEK 5 FÚTBOLS
There's a hacky bit at the beginning of Ahsoka Episode 6 where the droid tells a story that starts with "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." ugh. That scene was as awkward and cringy as anything in the first 5 eps, but there was a shoutout to the DYM Scholars - which is the only kind of fan-service we want.
#1 IS #1 MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! LETS GOOOOO!!!!!