WHATS UP SPECIAL ED?!?!?!?!
Playoff football starts TODAY and DYM is fuckin AMPED!!!!!
The schedule is a little wacky this year tho. Wildcard Saturday used to be reserved for the Bengals and Titans. So we feel like the NFL kinda fucked up by not scheduling Bengals-Ravens for today. They probably thought Lamar was gonna play, which woulda made this the first interesting Bengal Wildcard game of our lifetime. But alas.
Coming into 2022 the Titans had missed the playoffs just once in the last six years, and although we're more than happy to not be watching a Titan game today, we will, unfortunately, have to watch a Dolphin game tomorrow. Fuckin hate the Dolphins, you guys.
CONGRATULATIONS FISTO KIDDS!!!!!!!
DYM NATION HAS SPOKEN!!!
Fisto Kidds won their first Special Ed Super Bowl this year, and became the first team to win an SESB and a DYM MVP Award (with no co-MVP(s)) in the same season.
GEAT JOB, DAVE!!!!!!
Interestingly, although PAT did not receive a single vote for MVP despite owning both the Best Pickup annd Best Draft Value award winners.
Justin Fields was the unanimous choice for BEST PICKUP.
Josh Jacobs was nearly a unanimous winner as well. Kenneth Walker III was the only other player to receive a vote for BEST DRAFT VALUE.
Big shout out to The Hamburglars who now have the #1 best keeper in the league for 2023.
¡¡¡FACTOS CONSPIRACIÓN!!!
We got a little update on the Teorias Conspiración we told yall about a couple weeks ago. Our homeboy Daniél was featured on the cover of a new study from National Defense University entitled "Russia's Strategic Inroads in Latin America". It's a scathing and terrifying report. This passage is on page 1:
"A key hub of Russian activity is in Nicaragua, under the protection of the Daniel Ortega/ Rosario Murillo regime. In addition to allowing a permanent presence of some 250 Russian military personnel on the ground ... Nicaragua also houses a multimillion-dollar vaccination plant that produces no vaccines, a police academy that does little of what it advertises, a cyber warfare and training center in the state telecommunications building, and a Russian Ministry of Interior building that enjoys the diplomatic status of an embassy."
In the main section on Ruso/Nica activities they discuss some of the things that we had heard about down there - like the militarization of special police forces; And also some things we hadn't considered that are way scarier - like the implementation of a state-of-the-art nationwide digital surveillance system, and plans to build intercontinental missile depots and strategic naval bases that the Russians could use to attack the USA.
The report makes these things sound very real and very threatening, but DYM is not here to fear monger.
We're personally not too worried about the web scraping operation cause the report says they only analyze Spanish-language content, and our Spanish is horrendous. We also don't think you guys should be too worried about a Nicaraguan-based invasion of the US, cause we know it takes fucking FOREVER to get shit done down there. Many other unscrupulous nations have tried to establish a strategic presence in Nicaragua and they all, without fail, have left within a few years expressing frustration with the incessant graft and logistics issues.
2023 is gonna be fuckin NUTS, tho. We are in a golden age of conspiracy theories.
We got sucked into a deep-ass rabbit hole this week. We found some new post-Q conspiracy theories that are beyond bat shit. We actually found that Nicaragua report by accident while we were reading about how soldiers in Vietnam saw ghosts in their night-vision goggles. And we gotta tell you guys, that's not even close to the craziest thing we read this week.
The new-look-twitter is really good at surfacing the stupidest and craziest content. Twitter is creating some of the deepest and most accessible nutjob rabbit holes that we've ever seen ... which may or may not be a part of the conspiracy itself.
Kyrie is definitely coming back next month.
MISS CLEO'S PLAYER OF THE WEEK -
SUPER WILDCARD EDITION!!!
DK Metcalf u60.5!!!!!
DYM SUPERWILDCARD PREDICTIONS!!!!!
SEAHAWKS (+9.5) vs. NINERS
One of the consequences of the expanded playoff format is there are going to be a lot more intra-division matchups in playoff games. We're not sure that's a good thing tho. There are three intra-division games this year and they are decidedly the least competitive matchups. All three have spreads of 8.5 or more and the other three all have 3 point spreads or less.
Seattle is probably undervalued here in our opinion. The Seahawks started the season 6-3 against the spread. That drove spreads up against them the second half of the year, and they've gone 1-6 ATS since week 12.
At this point we think Seattle is a legit playoff caliber team and 9.5 is just too high for a real playoff game.
DYM PICKS: Seattle +9.5; Kittle o3.5 recs; Ken Walker TD
CLIPPERS vs. JAGUARS (+2.5)
The Chargers have maybe the worst run defense in the NFL. They allow 145.8 rush yds per game (ranked #28) and and incredible 5.4 yards-per-carry (#32). That being said, Ettienne o76.5 at -130 is a little too rich for us, but we're definitely getting Travis into ALL our DFS lineups this week.
DYM PICKS: 1st Qtr Tie (+360); 1st Half Tie (+1000); Ekeler o51.5 ru yds.; Kirk o22.5 longest rec.
BILLS (+13.5) - DOLPHINS
Fuck the dolphins, yo.
DYM PICKS: Bills +13.5; Skylar o0.5 ints; Josh o1.5 TDs
GIANTS (+3) - VIKINGS
The Vikings actually suck, so we're all over NYG +3 and probably a little Danny Dimes in DFS. But, be advised - NYG are almost as bad against the run as LAC. (5.2 per carry, 144 per game). So maybe try to get some Cook in your lineups too.
DYM PICKS: NYG +3; KJ Osborn o3.5 recs
RAVENS - BENGALS (-8.5)
Yuck. This game's gonna stink.
DYM PICK: Bengals -8.5
COWBOYS (-2.5) - BUCS
Both these teams have been listless the last couple weeks, so we have a parlay with Cowboys -2.5 and another with Bucs ML. We don't like either very much, Dallas probably gonna win by 1.
DYM PICKS: Cowboys -2.5(?); Mike Evans o23.5 longest rec.
