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This election really snuck up on us.

We had no clue there was still an election this year. NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT IT!!!!!!

It’s all very confusing.

After they canceled the Olympics, we just kinda assumed the election was canceled too.

At DYM we base most of our political opinions on how well Team USA did in the last Summer Olympics.

Team USA is averaging about 45 Gold Medals per Summer Games over the last 100 years. So, as a general rule, if we bring home 45 or more Gold Medals then we’ll vote for the incumbent President; If we get less than 45 then, obviously, it’s time for a change so we vote for the new guy. There is one contingency, which fortunately hasn't come into play yet in DYM's 20 year voting career: If the Team USA Men's Basketball team does NOT get the Gold, we'll vote for the challenger regardless of the other sports.

Syndey 2000 - 37 Golds - George W. Bush

In the year 2000 we were very excited to cast our first presidential ballots.

We stayed up late and woke up early every day in August to catch all the Olympic Action live from Sydney. Vince Carter tea-bagged that French guy, and we thought for sure we were gonna vote for Al Gore.

But Team USA would not fare as well in the individual sports: 18-year old Australian Ian Thorpe called a recount and checked all the hanging chads when he took the swimming world by storm with 3 Golds in his maiden Olympic games.

Our greatest medal hopeful in 2000 was Michael Johnson, who had entered the 2000 summer with the title of "World's Fastest Man" but left Sydney with only one Gold - in the 400. (Team USA won Gold in the 4x400m but had the medal stripped when 2 members of the team tested positive for steroids.) Later that week Johnson missed his opportunity to defend his 200m world records when he pulled his hamstring in the 200m prelims. Maurice Greene won the 100m and anchored the 4x100 relay, but those would be our only other Gold medals in Men’s track that year.

The first and last time we voted for a Republican.

Athens 2004 - 36 Golds (Bronze in Men's Basketball) - John Kerry

Can you guys believe Stephon Marbury was on an Olympic Team? Crazy.

Back in the early 2000's a lot of people used to say it seemed like George W. Bush didn't even want to be President. Especially after 9/11, the guy was in way over his head. We're pretty sure that's why he tanked the Olympic Basketball tournament in 2004.

Team USA had run roughshod though the 2003 FIBA Tournament of the Americas but inexplicably overhauled the roster before the Olympic Games. Larry Brown has Allen Iverson and Tim Duncan locked in as his team captains. And in case that team chemistry wasn't toxic enough they added Marbury, Carmelo and 4 other players under age 22, none of whom had made the 2004 All-Star Game. It was a total fucking embarrassment, but in the end we were more than happy not to vote for Bush again.

Beijing 2008 "THE REDEEM TEAM" - 36 Golds - Barack Obama

Entering 2008, the USA had won more gold medals than any other country in every Olympics of the past 20 years.

A HUGE stink had been made about the USSR's success in the '88 games; Allegations of cheating, drug use, corrupt judges and other improprieties ran rampant. But as today's political aficionados know, China is WAY more ruthlessly corrupt than Russia ever was, and nobody's gonna do shit about it. So when China hosted the 2008 games, there was a general lack of surprise at the fact that they won fucking everything. China's 48 golds in 2008 were the most by any country since the USSR's 55 golds in 1988.

But the STARS of the '08 games were all dressed in Red, White & Blue:

  • The GOAT Nastia Lukin ended the former Soviet nations' reign over Women's Gymnastics by becoming just the 3rd American to ever win the Women's Individual All-Around (a feat that would become far more common in the 2010's).

  • The GOAT Carmelo Anthony (all-time highest scoring Olympic basketball player) won his first of 3 Golds in his second games. Anthony, Lebron, and Dwyane Wade were the only returning players from the 2004 team.

  • The GOAT Michael Phelps won the Gold in all eight of his events (including 7 World Records and 1 Olympic record).

2008 also marked the emergence of the GOAT of all Non-American Olympic GOATS - Usain Bolt. The USA would sweep the Medals the Men's 400m and 400m hurdles, but Jamaica dominated the Men's and Women's sprinting events, leaving the USA with only 3 track Golds. Bolt was incredibly popular, and much like his Chinese hosts, had for some time risen above any allegations of performance enhancing drug use. Jamaican Track was basically the McGuire/Sosa of the 2000's. EVERYBODY knew they were juicing but it was sooo fun to watch, so honestly nobody cared.

FUN FACT: Barack Obama was, as it turns out, born in the USA. But 4x Gold Medalist Sanya Richard-Ross was NOT! Sanya was born in Kingston Jamaica and became a naturalized citizen of the USA in 2002. She won Golds in the 4x400m relay in '04 '08 and '12 and the individual 400m in 2012. She's also married to former Giants CB Aaron Ross.

We voted for Obama.

London 2012 - 46 Golds - Barack Obama

Team USA was a powerhouse in 2012. Fortunately Obama was our favorite President of our adult lives, so we couldn't have been happier with the medal count results.

The 2012 USA Men's Basketball team was a motley group, but gelled together seamlessly under Coach K's leadership. The squad somehow featured 6 players over age 28 and two members of the 2012 Knicks.

Jamaican Men Usain Bolt and Yohan Blake dominated the prime-time track events. But USA's Allyson Felix and Sanya Richards-Ross defeated the Jamaicans in the 200m, 400m, and both relays. Brittney Reese won the Women's Long Jump for USA's 7th Track & Field Gold of 2012.

Our pride and joy in 2012 was the Women's Gymnastics team, who followed up a strong, but underwhelming, 2012 summer with 4 Golds in 2016: Aly Raisman (best Jewish Athlete of the 2000's) won the Floor Exercise, Gabby Douglas won the Individual All-Around, and Team USA won the Women's Team All-Around Championships.


Rio 2016 - 46 Golds - Hillary Clinton


Maybe not everybody thinks Obama was the greatest President, but it's hard to deny he was the best campaigning candidate of our generation. Team USA won 92 Gold medals during the Obama Administration. Only Ronald Reagan (119) and Theodore Roosevelt (101) led this country to more Golds, but the 1904 and 1984 games were both held in the US, so there's a small asterisk next to those totals.

2008 is often remembered as the breeding ground of the Miami Heat super-team that would form 3 years later. Similarly, 2016 may one day be remembered as the nadir of the Brooklyn Nets Dynasty. Kevin Durant averaged 19.4 pts per game in the 2016 Olympics, and Kyrie started all 8 games at PG and led the team in assists.

2012 individual champions Gabby Douglas and Aly Raisman returned to lead the Women's Gymnastics squad to a second straight Team All-Around Gold. And Simone Biles emerged as the worlds best gymnast with 3 individual Golds including the Individual All-Around.

2016 would be the Olympic swan song for Michael Phelps. The all-time greatest Olympic Champion brought home another 5 swimming Golds at age 31. But 19 year old Katie Ledecky became USA's next swimming superstar, as the first swimmer since 1968 to win the 200m, 400m and 800m freestyle at the same Olympics.

2016 was the shit, so like the majority of Americans, we voted for the Democrat again.

Tokyo 2020 - 0 Golds - Joe Biden

Now for this year's "election," the choice is pretty clear. Team USA has won ZERO (0) Gold Medals during the Trump administration.

Jimmy Carter is the ONLY other President of the modern Olympic era who failed to bring home a single Gold Medal, and he paid dearly for it at the polls in November 1980. The American people DEMAND Olympic excellence, and Ronald Reagan was just the man to deliver it. 1980 was one of the biggest blow-out elections in US history. Reagan carried 44 states, and won the electoral college vote 489-49.

Of course, as we all know, Reagan would go on to become the Most Decorated US Olympic President of all time with 119 Gold Medals.

Always in motion is the future is. Difficult to see.

But the only things we know for sure are that everybody's voting for Biden, and that Team USA is gonna OWN the 2024 Games.



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