- Nov 25, 2021

DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2021 WEEK 12!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Special Ed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DYM WEEK 12 coming at you early with a quick-hitter before The BIG Holiday weekend.

We're taking a Burger Bye this week. We just can't handle Thanksgiving AND a two-burger Friday. With the longer season this year we should still get the Burger Tour done before the Special Ed Playoffs as usual. That's great cause this is an ENORMOUS week of Special Ed Matchups:

Pickle Ricks!! clinched the playoffs (DAYUM!) now they have to defend their bye-week position against Dr. Tobin
Pauls RED HOT Team has a late rivalry matchup with THE DREAM KILLERS
Team DYM and Bring it on Home fight for Playoff SURVIVAL

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANTONIO BROWN DID A THING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Antonio Brown's former chef claims that AB presented the Bucs a fake COVID vaxxx card. Oh yea, and the chef says AB owes him $10K - totally unrelated tho.

This story isn't even all that funny cause it's so obvious. It's is the most Antonio Brown thing ever.

The AB Show is in its 12th season now and we kinda feel like the writers are getting lazy. Back in Pittsburgh AB was the coolest. He was like high school Dylan McKay - a little rough around the edges but everybody loved him. Sure he had some issues, but his dad died in season 3 and that was real hard on him.

Even his last season in Pittsburgh everything was going great - 1,300 yards, 15 TDs, he quit doing drugs, broke up with Valerie, and fell in love with the Noxzema girl. They even got married!!! But then when Antonia's dad tried to kill AB but shot her instead, he had to get the fuck outta dodge.

After a couple seasons of "guest-star" appearances throughout the league, AB has a leading role once again in Tampa.

But if you thought his antics were ludicrous in season 6 just wait til AB's friend gets kidnapped by drug dealers, and AB and Steve have to help him escape! Then he finds out his dad is actually still alive!!

He's still got a few good episodes left in the tank for sure tho. You'll know The AB Show is about to be a wrap when he gets back together with Kelly. The hero's always gotta end in the place he started at, ya know.

Anyways, it's not really that funny.

WHOS HOT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Pauls Awesome Team finally cracked the glass ceiling this week.

The same six teams have resided in the playoff positions for the entire season until now. This week PAT moved into a tie for 5th place with Team DYM and Bring It On Home at 5-6.

Now, with 7 teams competing for the postseason, WHOS HOT is more valuable than ever. The week 12 Heat Index readings suggest that BIOH is actually the least the least likely to make the playoffs of the top seven. Team DYM is currently in 7th by way of tie-breakers - but they have scored outscored BIOH by about 10 points per game over the last 3 and are about 20% HOTTER this week. The DYM vs BIOH matchup will likely be the most important game of the regular season for both squads.

MISS CLEOS PLAYER OF THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!

🍗STEFON DIGGS!!!!!🍗

Miss Cleo's Prop Bet Record: 5-6

AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!

PICKE RICKS!! vs TOBIN & THE RIPPERS

AGOTW Prediction Record: 5-6

Pickle Ricks!! is dominating this league in rare fashion. We have not seen a 9-2 team in this league since 2015. PR have already clinched the playoffs with three weeks left. There is still a lot of football left to be played though - we are still six weeks from the SESB - and it could be a full month before PR plays another meaningful game - and therein lies the problem.

REST vs RUST has a very real and very problematic dichotomy for the greatest Champions in Special Ed History. Some people have said that Fantasy Mythopoeia is "the worst" recurring segment on Defend Your Moves. But we can guarantee that none of those people have ever won 3 CONSECUTIVE Special Ed SuperBowls. We are speaking from experience when we say it's dangerous to get too hot too early in the season. We've been there (won 10-straight regular season games and lost the SESB) and we don't want to see that happen to our best friend Dave.

From 2013-2015 Doug R Tacos and Team DYM ran roughshod over the Special Ed League: Tacos went 12-1 in the 2013 regular season and won their first title. In 2014 Team DYM made a stunning late season run all the way to the SESB Chip. Team DYM's winning streak continued in 2015, running out to a 10-0 record to start the season, but were eventually felled in the SESB once again by Team Tacos.

Although they were both dominant regular season squads, Doug's 2013 and 2015 teams registered BY FAR the lowest scoring SESB winning scores of all time. Tacos scored only 96 points in 2013 and 101 in 2015 - the only two SESBs where the winner scored less than 130.

So far this year Pickle Ricks has been more lucky than good. They are averaging 114 points per game - good for sixth highest in the league; but they've also faced the league's easiest schedule, with opponents scoring only 102 per week against him.

CONGRATS FAY!!! But don't rest on those laurels just yet!!!!!

Prediction:

Tobin & The Rippers: 127.43

Pickle Ricks: 114.90

TOBIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUEHUECOYOTL SZN🃏 vs BRING IT ON HOME

The Huehuecoyotl period of the Aztec Calendar begins TODAY!!!!

Huehuecoyotl is the Aztec god of mischief. He is a shapeshifter that brings both fortune and curses to his fellow gods and to humanity. People beset by bad luck can pray to Huehuecoyotl to reverse their fortunes.

Team DYM is on a 3-game losing stream so this is just what the doctor ordered!!! Of course BIOH has lost the last 4 straight, and only one of us can have our prayers answered this week. But, BIOH might not know that Huehuecoyotl is also the god of parties and uninhibited sexuality. Which is why we're having Thanksgiving with our wife's hot little sisters. LFG!!!!!

HUEHUECOYOTL SZN🃏 WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!

🥴MASSIVE PAINFUL TURD💩 vs POLK HIGH PANTERS

Coming into this week we had two jokes on deck about Antonio Brown and COVID. One was the "Mr. Big Chest vaxx card" the other was this morality alignment matrix of different NFL players' experience with COVID: