HAPPY THANKSGIVING, SPECIAL ED!!!!!!!!!!!!
We fucking LOVE Thanksgiving you guys. Somebody remarked to us yesterday that Thanksgiving Wednesday is the best day of the year cause everybody's super chill before the four day weekend. It hadn't really ever occurred to us before, but it's true - no other holiday has a legally mandated four day weekend. That fuckin' rules. Now, there are bound to be other four day weekends throughout the year - like we almost never work on Memorial Day Friday - but the fact that Thanksgiving is ALWAYS a four-day, and that everybody gets it, makes the vibe super chill. Institutionalized chill. Fuckin love thanksgiving, you guys.
NEW TRADE DEADLINE!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's still been no trades yet in Special Ed this year and that's kinda sad. There's never been a Special Ed Season with no trades and we'd prefer there to never be one. So we pushed the deadline back to 12/2 (end of week 13) to give you guys a little more time to get your shit together.
Right now there's three weeks left in the regular season so there are a few teams in this league that need to WIN NOW to secure a playoff spot. Lets take a look at some trade options:
TOBIN & THE RIPPERS (6-5)
Justin Jefferson & Charbonnet <--> Puka Nacua & Christian Kirk
Justin Jefferson is still "questionable" this week and has a bye next week. He might be coming back right around the new deadline, so the trade window on Jefferson might have just been re-opened.
Tobin's biggest problem right now is they only have 3 healthy WRs. So they could look to swap Just Jeff's busted ass for a serviceable WR or two. But of course he'll have to engage the teams that already have 8 wins - who could theoretically spare a starter and be able to stash Jefferson.
Paul's Phenomenal Team has a plethora of WRs, and two of the sexiest - Josh Downs and Puka Nacua - were waiver wire pickups. Everybody loves trading away pick-ups for established players, so we think this deal could get done.
If Paul still doesn't want to trade away Puka, Tobin should definitely be asking about Downs too.
Breece Hall <--> Brandon Aiyuk
The 'Burglars also need an upgrade at WR, but we don't think they're gonna be able to sell any of the WRs they have now: Chase and Hopkins are stay-aways with questionable QB situations, and Deebo is himself questionable - he's been playing hurt all year and hasn't had a good game since week 3. That's exactly why Kull should trade for Aiyuk - the Niners are still gonna Niner, and Kull's gotta bench Deebo right now. Flip flip.
While The 'Burglars are talking to Matt they should be asking about Michael Pittman too. And if that doesn't get done they should hit up Andy to get Nico Collins or DK Metcalf.
I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING!
DK Metcalf & Just Herbert <--> Saquon & Goff
Nico Collins & DK Metcalf <--> Breece Hall & DeAdre Hopkins
IAWTGG is probably the most trade-ready team in this league since the have two pairs of WRs on the same teams (DK & Lockett and Nico & Noah Brown). They should definitely be looking to sell DK and Nico. Even if its a lateral move on paper, diversifying the roster should help them be more consistent down the stretch.
JOE BRADY (AMERICAN FOOTBALL COACH)
This is nondescript motherfucker right here is "Joe Brady" - the Bills' new offensive coordinator. We're kinda fascinated by this guy cause he looks like the one white guy from Nick Cannon's Wild N Out, and nobody really knows if he's a good football coach or not.
He's only been an OC for three seasons: One was an undefeated National Championship at LSU - but with Joe Burrow, Justin Jefferson, Ja'marr Chase, and Clyde Edwards-Helaire all on the same team, so it's hard to give him a ton of credit in retrospect. Then he had two really bad seasons as OC for the Panthers - but that was right after they cut Cam Newton, and McCaffrey got hurt, and there was no preseason cause of COVID. So there's not a lot to take away from that stint either. Now Joe Brady is on his third NFL coaching staff but he's still a tabula rasa to us.
We don't know a lot about Joe Brady except that he grew up in Miami and went to Everglades High School - which is a public school in Florida, so he's probably not all that smart. Also his sister Jacey used to be a Dolphins' Cheerleader. So there's that.
He also has a hilariously on brand twitter feed for a dimwitted football-guy. Every time the Bills win he posts "1-0" after the game. And that's the ONLY thing he posts during football season. Which is how you can tell that he's laser focused and totally dedicated to his craft.
Reminds us of Lebron's "Zero Dark-23" campaign where he went on instagram to announce that he was gonna not be on instagram during the playoffs. It's fucking dumb as shit if you ask us, but from what we can tell, Joey B's been doing this since the LSU days at least, and he's been hired by two different NFL teams since then so he is fooling somebody, apparently.
Godspeed, Joe Brady.
Believe it or not, we've actually been keeping track of Who's Hot for the last couple months even though we haven't been blogging. And it sucks that we've been so busy with work cause we really wanted to write a Who's Hot?! a couple weeks ago when we saw how hot Doug's team had gotten. That was wild for just a second there. They were by far the hottest team after they beat Paul in week 9.
That was the same week when some weirdo posted on reddit about trading Christian McCaffrey in exchange for the opportunity to bang his friend's wife...
That stupid shit went viral, and a disappointing number of people believed that it was real. But anytime someone shared it to us we'd just be like "Woah. Huge tits? Pull the trigger, bro!"
At the time we didn't point out to anyone that "Simple_Ad8433" was an obvious troll account which had just been created that week (now deleted). We also didn't tell anyone that we'd already gone through "Jmufranco"s social media history, and found out he studied Criminal Justice at James Madison, so we're like 90% sure that he's some sorta spook...
That blog woulda been a fuckin banger, but unfortunately Doug's pretty much done-for now. He's still got the second hottest team in this league, but they're just one game away from mathematical elimination. The best they can do now is 6-8. Although it's technically possible, we don't even think any 7-win teams will get in the playoffs this year.
Which means that Not Friend Time is gonna have to run the table - again.
Back in 2014, when we won our first Special Ed chip, the OG Not Friend Time had a pretty rocky start to the season. We were 4-5 heading into week 10, averaging a measley 106 points per game -- just like we were this year. Obviously, after week 10 we turned it the fuck on - hero's journey third act style - and reeled off 7 straight wins, averaging over 130 per game -- just like we are right now.
You guys should all try to hang with your families as much as you can this holiday season, cause the next six weeks it's NOT FRIEND TIME motherfuckers!!!! LETS GOOOOOO!!!!!!
FOOD BEEF 2023:
FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Namkeen Chicken & Waffles - Chatham, NJ
The FOOD BEEF regular season comes to an close today.
We ate our eighth chicken sandwich of the season at Namkeen Chicken & Waffles -- and it was the fucking BOMB!!!
Namkeen were preseason favorites in this competition, and they lived up to the hype today. Both the sandwiches our judges sampled checked all the boxes: Crispy fried skin, juicy breast meat, fresh toppings, and a nice soft bun. It's definitely the best we've sandwich we've had in NJ this year.
The proprietors of Namkeen are from Pakistan you know they make their shits spicy as fuck. We ordered "hot" once and we almost died, so usually we get the "medium" heat and it still gives us a nice little sweat. They make two styles of hot chicken: Tikka masala, or Nashville hot. We got the Nashville and the wife got the tikka and they were both excellent. The Nashville was hot and tasty, and the tikka had a great depth of flavor with a lot of cumin and curry. You can also get tikka sauce and shredded chicken on french fries or mac and cheese (also the bomb), and they make big fat Belgian waffles too cause, why not?
NAMKEEN SANDWICH SCORE: 9
Now the field is set for the Chicken Sandwich playoff tournament!!!!
Next week, in the Classic Fried division we've got Marie's Chicken Joint vs. Tony Boy's Sandwich House. Then in week 14 we'll judge the Hot Chicken division finalists, Super Chix and Namkeen. The winners of each division will face off in week 15 for the FOOD BEEF FRIED CHICKEN SANDWICH CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!
AMERICAS GAME OF THE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT FRIEND TIME vs. ERIN ERTZ
Just a few weeks ago Erin Ertz was the toast of Special Ed. They were all alone in first place at 8-1, scoring 138 per game. But the last three weeks EE hit a wintry cold streak. They've lost their last two and haven't scored over 110 since week 8.
On the other side is Team DYM who were fucking lucky to get three wins out of their pitiful first 8 weeks. We scored about ten points per game less than Dave and about 20 less than Matt and they each only got one win in that span. Since then we've won two of the last three and we're the hottest team in the league, scoring over 140 per game.
The weird thing is that we're both starting pretty much the same teams this week that we started in week 1. Only now Rob's team is playing like shit and our team is balling out of control. We don't really know why this is happening, and its kinda weird, so let's just say it's ghosts.
NOT FRIEND TIME!!!🏆🏆🏆🏆 - 169.93
Erin Ertz - 112.46
NOT FRIEND TIME!!!🏆🏆🏆🏆 WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPECIAL ED MATCHUPS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tobin & The Rippers vs. I ❤️ Auntie Cynthula
It'd be really cool if Matt and Luca could get a fucking win here. Would be huge for us. But, on the other hand, we can't help but think how funny it would be if Tobin let Matt nail his wife for a McCaffrey trade.
TOPIN & THE RIPPERS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dumb but Pretty vs. Paul's Phenomenal Team
These teams are both really good right now - the two highest scoring teams in each of the last two weeks. What's annoying is that they both have some sexily over-producing players that they should trade, but they won't. These teams have been good all year long and they don't have much injury problems right now, so they're probably not gonna rock the boat. But they should. Whatever. We'll see you fuckers in the playoffs.
PAULS PHENOMENAL TEAM WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Hamburglars vs. 🧨 I-R-f00tbols!!! 🏈🤕
There's a new Godzilla show on AppleTV+ right now. It's in the same universe as Godzilla vs. Kong and all those other new shits. Those flicks are all bad movies but very fun to watch, we're pretty into em. But unfortunately Apple is only giving us the first episode for free, and it was kind of a snore. Mostly just a bunch of people who have problems with other people, and Godzilla didn't show up. We're pretty sure he's gonna show up soon tho, so holler at us if any of yall have an appletv+ password.
Blank Space vs. I also want to go golfing
It would also be pretty cool of Dave got a win this week. Probably not gonna happen tho cause his team is playing like absolute dog shit since Taylor went on the international tour.
I ALSO WANT TO GO GOLFING WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!