DEFEND YOUR MOVES 2017 WEEK 8!!!!!!!!


CHEA!!!!!!!! What up Special Ed. It’s Week Eiht up in this biyayitch and DYM is down to ride.

Man, for real I can’t believe it’s week 8 already. The first half of the season really flew by.

TOTAL MOVES THIS WEEK: 14

DUMPSTER DIVER OF THE WEEK: Golden Richards

Even in the middle of bye week season our league-wide move volume remains low. We understand, tho, we're not making wild moves either.

We said a few weeks ago that a certain amount of uncertainty and trepidation is normal in the first quarter of the season. It can take a few weeks to learn who you can trust. But this is a very unusual season. Even now, with only 6 weeks left in the fantasy regular season, we still don’t know what the fuck is going on. Not only is fantasy production down across the board it seems to be less consistent than ever this year as well. We’ve already talked a lot here about the Bench Point Pandemic, but now the cancer of bench points has metastasized to the waiver wire as well!

This week most of the best players in the NFL were not owned in Special Ed. If we composed a team ONLY of UN-OWNED players in week 7, that team would have beaten our league’s top team by over 70 points.

Obviously we’ve done a lot of streaming and a lot of dumpster diving in this league. We keep an eye on the waiver wire at all times, and while there are always good plays to be had out there, this kind of production is VERY unusual.

Right now, the only people with any chance of taking advantage of all this chaos are the players themselves. I’m pretty sure Cam Newton had the Bears D in fantasy this week. Look at this shit:

It’s hard to throw a ball this bad by accident. This is one of the worst picks we’ve ever seen and we watch the Bills every week, so we knows some bad football when we sees it, and we’re here to tell ya, this football is bad out here.

Let’s break it down –

Week 7 had:

  • 3 Shut outs

  • 6 (SIX!) teams without a TD

And the 2017 Season has had:

  • The second lowest scores per game of the last 10 years

  • Fewest TDs per game in the past 10 years

  • More FGs per game than any of the last 10 seasons

So, turns out Dave had the right idea spending a draft pick on a Kicker. But the flaw in his process became clear early on. Tucker is just a boring name. Easy fix for next year -- If you want to draft the #1 kicker, look for the kicker with the funniest name. Lutz, Zeurlein, or Stephen “Steven” Hauschka would actually have been pretty good 8th round picks.

AMERICAS SWEETHEART - JUJU SMITH SCHUSTER

The latest hilariously named Rookie to capture the hearts of NFL fans is none other than our pre-season Tajae Sharp!!

Juju has always been our guy ever since last year when we owned Josh Gordon. One day we were wondering if Cody Kessler would be able to support a fantasy relevant WR, so we pulled up some of his college highlights on YouTube. Play after play there was one WR's name the announcers would gleefully call: "JUJU SMITH SCHUSTER".

Everybody loves saying that name. The kid is just a delight to talk about.

A name like this on top of a QB number in that Steeler Black and Gold is a match made in marketing heaven. Long as he doesn't disrespect any troops he could have a great career ahead of him. The path was all layed out there for him on draft night. Juju knew that night there was only one thing he had to do to cement his place as a generational superstar - TD CELEBRATIONS!

And if you think a man named Juju isn't gonna have some all-time great TD Celebrations you're fucking crazy.

Juju came in to this season with a Russian-Facebook-style targeted marketing plan to reach all the most important demographics of NFL fans.

First, he had to get his name in the mouths of 2017's true tastemakers - 20 year old internet nerds. These sabermetrics nerds had to go get some dry sweatpants after Juju turned his first TD ball into Goku's Kamehameha Wave from DragonBall-Z.

Sean McVay loved this one. He's trying to get Watkins to do something like this if he ever scores

Next Juju rallied his base, the urban market, with this dice game celebration

CLACKITY-CLACKITY-CLACK!!!!!

You think Martavis got got in that dice game? He's been pretty salty ever since.

Then, in case the gambling was too adult, Juju and Leveon followed it up with a little something for the kids.

HIDE AND SEEK!!!!!!!!

Let's all just start calling him "FUTURE HALL OF FAMER JUJU SMITH SCHUSTER" now OK?

FOOD BEEF

The third stop on the 2017 Wing Tour is our new go-to hometown bar -

54 Main of Madison!!!!!!!!

54 Main is the best bar in Madison, no contest. To be fair, there's only like 4 bars in town, and each one has its own certain charm, but if anyone tells you they like Prospect or Poor Herbie's better than 54 they're just being cute. 54 Main is the best. They have one of the best beer selections of any bar we frequent, the food is top notch, sometimes college girls hang out there and they show every game every Sunday. It's the full package.

We go there a fair amount cause it's pretty close to my place and to Ertz's. It's also a good sports bar set-up; Sit at the bar and you can see several screens at once. Me and The Commish have been there the last two years for the first Thursday of the NCAA tourney and had a great time. It could become a semi-regular Sunday spot now too.

Last year we hit