DEFEND YOUR MOVES OFF-SEASON 2022 #8!!!!!!!!

HAPPY 420, SPECIAL ED!!!!!!!!


We made it! Weed stores are FINALLY opening to the public in NJ tomorrow, which basically makes DYM the Kyrie of NJ Medical Marijuana prescriptions. Our doctor wrote us a script MONTHS ago but fuck that shit. We never got it filled, strictly on principal.

So, today is 4/20 but weed still isn't actually legal in NJ because fucking Phil Murphy can't do anything without pissing on his shoes in the process. Even fat fuck Chris Christie didn't fuck up anything this easy. His dumbass got fireworks legalized in 2017, and implemented the law a week before July 4th. Like, duh.

So a lotta people are talking about how they missed legalization "by one day", but we all know they coulda been legalized weed pretty much anytime over the past 2 years. So, sure, it would be nice if weed were legal today. It also woulda been clutch on Monday when the new Batman came out on HBO. Or last Thursday when it was like 80 degrees outside and we got a Drizly delivery -- we really coulda gone for some (legal) weed that day too!!!


But it's cool, better late than never. They probably wanted to make sure they had legal weed available before the NFL Draft and mock-draft season. There's nothing better on a warm summer day than getting super baked and firing off a dozen mock drafts. Really lookin forward to that.

Plus, now there'll be legal weed for at least half of this Nets-Celtics series. That's great cause these first two games have been extremely stressful. There's this one guy from Boston in our neighborhood that needs to chill the fuck out, for real. It's gonna be a problem if we gotta see that dude before we get some legal weed tomorrow.

We're loving the Lakers show on HBO, it's probably the best show on (not) TV right now. This week's episode was extremely cathartic for us. Hearing "Fuck Boston" about 17 times in the last ten minutes was exactly what we needed after the Nets' no-defense-playin asses gave up a buzzer beater layup in game 1. We fuckin really hate Boston, you guys.


Episode 7 also became our favorite so far because it was an especially triumphant Avon Barksdale episode. Spencer Haywood finally got off the bench and he shut Larry Bird the fuck DOWN! DYM Scholars know that Avon Barksdale was the coolest character on The Wire. He got locked up at the end of season one so we always got really hyped when he made sporadic appearances in later seasons. We still get that feeling these days everytime we see Avon show up in other HBO content. Like when he was young Lebron's coach in Space Jam 2, and now he's on Winning Time playing Spencer Haywood - probably the coolest guy on the 1979 Lakers.

Just now, when we looked up Avon on IMDB, we found out he played Jimi Hendrix in a bio-pic in the year 2000 that we were completely unaware of. We're definitely gonna watch that later this week after we do a little legal weed shopping. It's gonna be fire.

 

THE BATMAN IS ON HBO!!!!!

We only got around to seeing The Batman once in theaters. But we've seen it twice in the last three days on HBO, and we fuckin love it. Something about all that glare on the small screen, we feel like it's even better this way. Might have to go for a bike ride and watch it on the phone after we get some legal weed.


We still think it should be shorter. We heard that test audiences saw an even longer version which is just insane, we wanna see the "editor's cut".

There's a lotta little detective things that Batman and Cat Woman do to solve a problem that they had already solved earlier: Like they probably coulda cut out Selina's little Inigo Montoya speech when she confronts Falcone, since they already established that he knows who she is; Or the part where Batman asks Gordon who the crooked cop is, even though he had already ID'd the guy at the club.

Anyways, the fact that our biggest gripes are all little shit like that is definitely a good thing. Big picture - this was an EXCELLENT Batman movie.

  • We like Gotham to be as much like New York City as possible and they really went in on the NY aesthetics in this movie. We especially like how everybody in Gotham has a New York accent (except Alfred, Bruce, and Selina's Russian girlfriend). Maybe "Gotham Square Garden" being the focal point of the film's climax was a bit too on the nose but we're down with it.

  • Like we said back in last month's Batman Week Special, we generally prefer the gangster version of The Penguin to the sewer mutant version.

But to be honest, we still kinda wanted to see Colin Farrell say "wak wak" and smoke really long cigarette. Instead he just did a Tony Soprano impression for three hours and it was GENIUS!!! David Chase has gotta be fuckin pissed that he didn't get Farrell to play Tony in Many Saints of Newark.

That shit woulda been 1000% better with Penguin/Tony in it.

  • This is among the very few Batman films that DOESN'T show Bruce's parents being killed, but they do fill in a lot of backstory on the Wayne family. We like this version where Bruce's mom was Martha Arkham, and she was super nuts. It seems like a slam-dunk that there'd be a history of mental health issues in Bruce's family, and it's kinda crazy that nobody wrote that into Batman stories until 2009.

  • This is the best line:


 

We'll be back next week for some NFL Draft coverage, and we'll let you guys know if that Hendrix flick is any good.



FUCK BOSTON, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!
















BEST OF DYM